


Once and Future

by ai08



Series: The Soul Stone [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Civil War Team Iron Man, Depression, Fix-It, Friends to Lovers, Honestly more like a simmer, Humor, I forgot there's humor too, M/M, Not Underage, Peter is 27 in this story, Slow Burn, Tony Feels, just FYI, the slowest of burns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-05-15 21:56:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 47,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14798690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai08/pseuds/ai08
Summary: After the defeat of Thanos, Peter returns. For Tony it has been nine agonizing months.For Peter, it has been eight years.





	1. Chapter 1

One by one, everyone is starting to reappear after the defeat of Thanos. Everyone except Peter. Tony thinks the universe has some sick sense of humor to bring everyone back save the one person he would throw it all away for, but he’s come to expect this to be his lot in life. Tony has it all. Except-

He tosses the rest of his drink back and stares at the news broadcast. Tearful, joyful reunions are playing, intersected with clips of interviews and praise for the Avengers, even those who, until quite recently, had been considered a possible threat.

Commercials play and the next program begins; it’s a special on Rogers and Barnes. Tony throws his tumbler across the room and the glass and ice scatter across the floor.

-

His second visit to May goes much better than his first; she doesn’t immediately slam the door in his face this time. Instead, she stares him in the eye for what feels like ages and Tony is rooted in the spot, frozen with the fear and guilt that is constantly swelling in his mind and his gut like a restless sea.

Usually he would have drowned it out with liquor by now. Not that it ever really works.

May finally steps aside and he follows her into the kitchen. They sit at the table. She doesn’t offer any refreshments.

“What do you want, Mr. Stark?” she asks.

Tony doesn’t know how to answer that question. He knows he shouldn’t even be here, that he is the last person May wants to see. But he feels compelled to be here, to be near someone who is close to Peter. But now that he is here, it’s too much. For the both of them. May wraps her arms around herself and stares off into the distance. Tony keeps his eyes on the table, studying the wood grain.

The weight of it all is intolerable and he’s got to say something, anything. He’s got to apologize, promise he’ll bring him back. Promise he won’t fuck up like this ever again but her phone rings and she excuses herself.

He can hear her crying and gets up to leave when a certain door catches his eye. As if on auto-pilot he walks over and pushes it open.

Peter’s room looks just as it had on the day he’d roped the young man, the _child_ , into his problems. With one new addition- on his desk sits a framed photograph of the two of them. It had been taken on the way home from Germany. Peter’s smile is wide and vibrant while Tony looks mildly amused, but distant.

He barely makes it down to his vehicle before the panic attack begins.

-

“We need to talk.”

“You need to get out of my workshop.”

“Tony. Please.”

Tony doesn’t turn from his work table, ignoring Steve and hoping he’ll take the hint. The Avengers may officially have made up and reunited, but he doesn’t give a shit.

“Can we please talk?” Steve tries again, voice soft and full of pain.

Tony tosses a tool to the table but doesn’t turn around.

“How long are you going to keep shutting me out?”

“I know you don’t understand big words, Cap,” Tony finally responds, voice dripping with spite, “so unless you’ve suddenly become an expert in anything other than your own _fucking_ agenda, I suggest you get out.”

Steve is quiet for a moment. Then, “You can’t keep this up,” he nearly whispers. “You’ve got to eat. You’ve got to get out of this room and rest. Bruce-”

“I’ve heard it all. He doesn’t understand. None of you do. I’ll figure it out myself. Stephen saw-”

“Stephen saw a possible, not a definitive future,” Steve snaps. “You think running yourself into the ground is the answer? You think this is how you’ll bring him back?”

“I don’t abandon my friends,” Tony snarls.

“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re abandoning him. How do you expect to accomplish anything if you don’t look after yourself, Tony?”

Tony laughs, hollow and dark. “I think we’re done here, Rogers. Get the hell out.”

-

“You look like shit,” Stephen says, taking a sip from his teacup.

Tony isn’t surprised. He’s been holed up in his workshop for weeks. He can feel how close he is to a solution, but he keeps hitting dead end after dead end, almost making a break through only to find that he’s right back to where he started.

“I’m close,” Tony mutters, rubbing at his tired eyes.

“You smell,” Stephen corrects. “Get up.” Before he can argue, they’re in Tony’s private quarters. Stephen takes a seat by the window and takes another sip of his tea.

“Make yourself presentable. I’ve got information.”

“What-”

“I’m absolutely certain I would be able to smell you from the astral plane. For God’s sake, man. Go take a shower.”

“I need-”

“ _Peter_ needs you at your best,” Stephen says firmly. “Now take a shower. And shave. You look like a sad, dirty yeti.”

-

“It’s more varied than we originally thought,” Tony mutters, reading through the files Stephen has brought him. It’s information on several of the people who had been brought back from the Soul Stone. He already knew from the Avengers who had been taken and brought back that everyone experienced something different- the reports from the Avengers all stated that some had felt as if they had only been gone a few hours while others claimed a few days. Then others, such as T’Challa, claimed to have hardly noticed any time pass at all. And these new reports, gathered from all over the world, showed that some people had felt weeks pass and in rare cases even years. And physical examinations were backing it up.

Tony starts to pace and has FRIDAY running all sorts of algorithms, trying to make sense of this new information.

“People are still appearing, Tony,” Stephen adds. “Just yesterday, a man from Sussex finally came back. Said he’d only been gone an hour.”

Tony nods, but he’s only half listening.

“He’s going to come back,” Stephen says after a few minutes have passed.

“I know,” Tony says, not looking away from his work. “I’m going to bring him back.”

-

Another month passes. Six more people return in that time but none of them are Peter.

Tony keeps working and regularly sends out Iron Men to search the world over and downs a bottle of whiskey.


	2. Chapter 2

 One. Two. Three cubes in his glass.

 

Tony pours well past three fingers and some of the amber liquid runs down the side. He takes a long sip, then another, glancing around his workshop. He’s been welding, tinkering with scraps. Blasting Metallica loudly.

One. Two. Three more cubes. Anything to fill this _nothingness_ that has moved in and occupied every corner of his mind.

“So, we’re still being maudlin, I take it. Excellent.” It’s Stephen.

Tony takes another sip, but his tumbler has suddenly become a tea cup.

“Don’t do that,” Tony tries to growl, but his words are slurred.

“Snap out of it, Stark. We’ve got shit to do.”

Tony ignores him.

“Tony, I know you-”

“They’re planning a memorial service,” Tony finally speaks. His voice is raw. “I’ve been-“ he stops and laughs, almost hysterical. It breaks into a sob. “They asked me to speak.” His voice cracks. “Fuck. _Fuck_.”

It’s been close to seven months since the defeat of Thanos. Very few people are still missing, but many others had lost their lives that day due to the suddenly unmanned vehicles, air crafts, and equipment. They deserve to be remembered.

Tony thinks about the young man who passed when the doctor operating on him disappeared. He thinks about the incident outside a school in Queens when a cross guard had vanished. He thinks about the subway crash at Seventh Ave; there had been no survivors.

He thinks about-

He never _stops_ thinking about Peter, growing cold and brittle, crumbling in his arms into nothing.

“Why isn’t he back yet?” Tony mutters, staring off. “What am I doing wrong?”

 -

“What was it like for you?” Tony asks.

“What was what like?” Stephen says, flipping through Tony’s vinyls. “I’m keeping this,” he says as he pulls out a _Queen_ record.

“When you disappeared. Your file… You only said that you were gone for a day but it didn’t go into detail. What happened?”

“Oh.” Stephen takes a deep breath and gives a small, self-depreciating smile. “It was perfect,” he says quietly, voice low and thick.

“Perfect how?” Tony says, on edge.

“I woke up and I was a neurosurgeon. And Christine was my wife. I knew right away that it was an illusion.”

“What did you do when you figured it out?”

“I performed an operation. Patient had advanced brain stem glioma.” He looks down at his hands; they still tremble. “And then I went home and made love to my wife.” He pauses again, taking a shaky breath. “And then I came back to reality.”

- 

Tony pulls himself out from under his latest project. He’s greasy and hasn’t slept in days, but for the first time in a while, he’s full of energy. He walks around his creation, running a hand over the smooth metal. He steps back and smiles.

He’s been sober for a week, now. (He had to be to make sure everything was perfect. Tony doesn’t take risks when it comes this sort of thing.)

“Let’s take you out for a test drive, baby,” he croons.

When the vehicle makes a smooth transition from road to twelve stories up the side of a building, he can’t help but grin. Peter is going to love his Spider-Mobile.

“Happy Birthday, kid,” he whispers to the night air. 

-

Peter’s nineteenth birthday comes and goes. Tony wants to visit May again, but he thinks better of it and opts to open a bank account for her instead. He deposits enough money for rent, clothing, Peter’s college tuition. Whatever they might need. There isn’t a single withdrawal, but Tony keeps it open all the same.

The Avengers have started to become a more cohesive unit, but Tony has chosen to remain distant from Rogers. At this point, he knows it’s got more to do with jealousy than any sense of betrayal he once felt. But he doesn’t want to think about that. Tony hasn’t touched a drink in weeks and he’s going to keep it that way.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on Rogers and how everything seems to be working out for him. He’s found his drive again and he’s going to focus all his time and energy into a renewed search for Peter. 

-

It has now been nine months since the defeat of Thanos.

Tony is sipping at his coffee, reading some news, when Stephen practically leaps through his portal, levitating in the middle of his kitchen.

“Jesus _Christ_ , man. How many times do I have to tell you, don’t _do_ that.”

“For God’s sake, Tony. Put some pants on,” Stephen says, ignoring the other man’s complaint. “I found Peter.”

The coffee mug slips from Tony’s hand and crashes on the tiled floor.

Stephen just stares at him.

“Are you going to faint, too, or can we get going?”

-

“So you’re telling me the reason he hasn’t returned is because… He keeps trying to return.”

Stephen nods. “The Soul Stone is essentially a self-contained universe. Every time he tried to leave he created a dimension within a dimension. That’s why he never came back. He... trapped himself.”

“So how do we get him out?” Tony asks tightly, drumming his fingers on the table. He’s trying to stay focused but he’s trembling with the need to act. They can talk later; he needs to bring Peter back _now_.

“He tried for so long; he was almost untraceable. Luckily Peter eventually stopped trying to jump dimensions and I was able to find him.”

Tony’s stomach is in knots. Nine months. Nine _fucking_ months. And they were only able to find Peter because the young man had eventually… given up.

“Let’s go,” Tony says. “Talk on the way.”

“Hang on, Tony,” Stephen says softly, causing Tony to pause.

“What?” he snaps.

“Time… Time works differently in the Soul Stone. And Peter is… he’s gone so deep. He’s been in there for a long time. A _long_ time, Tony.”

“What are you saying?” the older man demands.

“I’m just saying… be prepared.”

-

Stephen opens the portal and Tony sees himself on the other side. He’s slightly younger, wearing a tux, and standing in Avenger’s Tower. Tony smiles ruefully for a moment, taking in the scene. Standing close to him is a young man he thinks he recognizes, but he can only see a partial profile. Tony tries to peer around Stephen’s damned cloak to get a better look. 

He doesn’t get the chance to, though, because in the next moment the portal is closed and a young man in a dark three piece suit is standing before him.

His hair is cut close and swept to the side. There’s a hint of stubble on his jaw, and his hazel eyes are wide in shock.

It's Peter.

Without breaking eye contact, Tony reaches forward, hands trembling.

"T-Tony?” Peter asks and takes a step back. “What… What’s going on?”


	3. Chapter 3

Peter looks around, eyes wide, and Tony can tell he’s about two seconds away from jumping up the wall.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Tony says soothingly. “It’s me. Tony. You’re back. You’re safe.”

Peter looks at him as if he’s looking at him for the first time and it’s then that Tony notices the differences. Peter’s taller, almost Tony’s height now. He’s broader in the shoulders, too, and his jaw is more defined. He can see the hint of a beard, too, much fuller than that of a boy on the cusp of adulthood. 

“FRIDAY,” Tony says, trying to stay calm. “Get Banner. Now.”

-

“How is he?” Tony asks.

“He’s… been through a lot, Tony,” Bruce replies, trying to choose his words carefully. “Physically he’s fine, but…”

“Spit it out,” Tony snaps. “Physically he’s fine but what?" 

“He thinks he’s twenty-three,” Bruce says, only slightly ruffled. “He thinks he’s just graduated from ESU with a degree in biophysics. I can’t- I don’t know if I can really help him, Tony,” he says gently. “His body scan says he’s twenty-six, he says he’s twenty-three, and he’s only been gone for under a year. This- this is beyond me.”

“It’s the Stone,” Stephen says. “The deeper he got, the more time passed. Did he say anything else?”

Bruce shakes his head no. “He’s pretty upset. Didn’t feel like talking.”

“I’m gonna check on him,” Tony says and gets up.

“No, you’re not,” says Stephen.

“I’m not just going to sit here while he’s in his room wondering where the fuck-”

“He doesn’t want to see you, Tony,” Bruce cuts him off.

“What?” He feels like he’s been punched in the gut.

“Peter doesn’t want to talk to you right now,” Bruce says, voice softer now.

-

The next day Tony sends a driver to pick up May. When she arrives at the compound she’s a sobbing hot mess, hugging Tony so tightly and thanking him over and over again. 

He points her in the direction of Peter’s quarters and quickly excuses himself to his private suite and falls apart all over again.

-

A few weeks pass and Thor comes to visit. Normally he’d be happy to see the God of Thunder but now- 

_Ugh_.

He pours himself a drink and walks over to the floor to ceiling windows to watch the scene playing out on the lawn below.

Thor is gesturing wildly with his big, stupid, well-toned arms, probably telling some big, stupid story. Peter smiles up at him and Tony can’t decide if he wants to hug Thor for bringing a smile to his face or slap him for... Well.

Doesn’t Thor have a half-reformed brother to bug and a kingdom to run? Tony’s lip curls and he turns away from the sight, stalking down the hall.

-

Tony sits in his 1932 Flathead Roadster, nursing his third whiskey and idly scrolling through his tablet.

“Oh, _Jesus_ , we’re back to this, are we?” Stephen asks.

“Go away.”

“Can’t wait to! Promise me you won’t try to shoot Thor as soon as I leave.” He pauses, then adds, “He’s got an axe now.”

“ _’He’s got an axe now_ ,’” Tony mocks under his breath.

Stephen rolls his eyes. He feels a headache coming on. “Stark. Thor isn’t the enemy. You should be glad Peter has found someone he can talk to.”

“Well, pardon the hell out of me,” Tony says bitterly. “I used to be that person.”

“That was a long time ago for Peter,” Stephen reminds him gently. 

Tony tosses the tablet onto the hood of the car without any care for the paintjob, then sighs. “I know,” he says quietly. “I just wish he’d tell me what the hell is going on so I can help him.”

-

A few more weeks pass, and Peter still won’t speak to him. But Tony swears he can feel the younger man staring whenever they cross paths.

-

“Sir, there seems to be an altercation occurring on the northern grounds,” FRIDAY announces.

Tony sets down his blowtorch and pulls up his goggles. “Give me a visual.” 

It’s Peter, and he seems to be shouting at Rogers.

“Audio,” Tony commands.

“How long are you going to keep avoiding Tony?” Steve asks.

Tony rolls his eyes. Really, Rogers? Is this his way of trying to get brownie points or something?

“How is that any of your business?” Peter demands. Tony wants to cheer him on for giving Rogers lip, but he’d sort of like an answer to that particular question, too.

“Tony worked harder than anyone I know to bring you back,” Rogers says. “He deserves better.”

Peter’s fists clench. “Don’t talk to me about stuff you don’t understand.”

Rogers sighs. “Peter, I know exactly what it’s like to feel alone and out of place. I-”

“Oh my god, _no_. No, you do not know what I’m going through. No one does. So please don’t act like you have any idea. Apparently, the last couple years of my life were just, what, a dream? At least you got to sleep through your fucking time lapse!” He’s crying now. Steve tries to place a hand on his shoulder but Peter shrugs it off. “Don’t touch me!” he shouts. “I remember everything that happened now! You just _left_ him!”

“Peter, I never meant to-”

“ _No_!” Peter snaps. “You left him when he needed you most. I would have never done that to him. I lo-” Peter shuts his mouth tight and storms off.

“Bucky needed me,” Steve says so quietly Tony almost doesn’t hear it. But Peter does. He turns right back around and marches up to Steve, who stands half a foot taller than him and is twice as broad, and punches him square in the jaw.

“So did Tony.”

-

That evening Tony pours himself a drink or three and re-watches the security footage of Peter decking Rogers a few dozen times. 

He will admit, at least to himself, that he feels a sick sense of satisfaction knowing the younger man has taken Rogers' betrayal so personally. Tony chooses to take it as a sign; maybe Peter will feel ready to speak to him soon.

God, He hopes so. Tony isn’t sure how much more of Peter’s silent treatment he can take; all he wants to do is be there for him.  

-

The next morning, Peter is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ain't gonna lie. I'd ship Thor/Peter. And I'm giving myself Stephen/Tony feels. What is even happening.
> 
> NB: Peter is very OOC right now, but I feel that it's justifiable, given what he's just gone through. He's not in a good place right now. That being said, I did want to touch on Peter's characterization. I love Tom Holland and obvi that's who my Spidey looks like. However, I do think that a 26 yr old Peter is going to be a bit more grown up than the teenager we all love, so I'll be drawing a lot from the comics.


	4. Chapter 4

Tony _may_ or may not have spent the better part of the day looking for Peter and his search leads him to 177A Bleecker Street.

Stephen opens the door and beckons him in. “I was wonder when you’d knock. Please tell me you didn’t chip him,” Stephen says by way of greeting.

Tony scoffs. “Of course not,” he lies. “That’s what FRIDAY is for.”

“Ah, then we’ve graduated to stalking.”

Tony just glares and plops down in an old, plush chair. “What did the kid say?”

“Doctor patient confidentiality,” Stephen says smoothly.

“You’re not his doctor.”

“Alright, then, I plead the Fifth.”

Tony throws his head back, exasperated. “Can we stop with the games, Merlin? Tell me what Peter said.”

“Tony. We’ve already been over this. He doesn’t want to talk to you. He came to me in confidence and you’ve got to respect that. He’ll come around in his own time.”

Tony stands and begins to pace. “So, I’m just supposed to do nothing? Just wait for him to stop avoiding me? I don’t even know what I did!”

Stephen pinches his nose. “Has it ever occurred to you that this isn’t even about you, Tony?”

“How can you say it’s not about me?” Tony demands. “He’s got no issue talking to Bruce and Nat. He’s _certainly_ got no issues with Thor and he’s never even met the guy before! Hell, he even talks to Rogers!”

“I heard he decked him,” Stephen says, amused.

At that, Tony cracks a shit-eating grin and nods. “Yeah.”

Stephen rolls his eyes. “It’s your desktop wallpaper now, isn’t it?”

“I plead the Fifth,” Tony says and takes a turn around the room, looking at the books and artifacts. They lapse into silence for a moment.

“You said the Soul Stone created the perfect world,” Tony suddenly says, voice quiet. He picks up a dagger from its display stand and turns it over.

“It did,” Stephen responds softly.

“Then why does he hate me now?” Tony sets the knife down with much more force than necessary and leaves.

-

Peter has moved back in with his aunt. He tells Thor ( _ugh_ ), who tells Bruce, who tells Natasha, who already knows. Nick has Black Widow shadowing Spider-Man to make sure he’s alright. (Which is just the nice way of saying they’re making sure he’s not about to snap. Tony’s been there himself, once or twice.)

But Natasha doesn’t try to be covert about it. She openly checks in on Peter, chats with May, gets coffee with Peter, and is even invited to dinner at the Parker residence- all things Tony used to do. He scowls and wonders if she’s doing it on purpose.

“You really are following him around.” It’s Natasha.

Tony glances up at her over his shades, then looks back down at his phone. “I’m just having some coffee. So, cool it with the accusations.”

“So close to Peter’s?” she points out.

“Is that suddenly a crime, Detective Benson?”

Natasha takes a seat across from him. “Tony.” She places her arms on the table and leans toward him. “Tony, look at me.”

He doesn’t.

“Tony.”

He clenches his jaw.

“Peter doesn’t hate you,” she says. “But you’ve got to lay off. He needs time to process. I know you miss him. We all did. But for Peter… he’s lived an entire other life. And to go from that, to this… It’s a lot for him. You need to give him space.”

“I have given him space!”

“You just dropped off three Spider-Man suits.”

“When he wasn’t home!”

“Do I need to mention you in my next report? Your behavior is compulsive and rash. I turned a blind eye when you went to the New York Sanctum but you can’t keep doing this.”

“It’s his property,” Tony says dismissively. “I was simply returning it.”

“Peter hasn’t signed the Accords. And even if he had, he’s in no shape to be Spider-Man right now and you know it.”

When he can’t think of anything to say to refute that, he changes the subject. “So, did you confiscate the suits?”

She sighs and purses her lips. Then says, “Officially?”

That catches Tony’s attention; he looks up and nods.

“Officially, I don’t know Peter has his suits back. He says he’s not ready to be Spider-Man yet and I believe him. But I’m not going to keep covering for you, Stark. So, get it together.”

-

He takes Pepper out to dinner, but his mind is elsewhere.

She places a hand on his and asks him what’s wrong, but Tony has no idea what to say. Their relationship has been strained since Thanos, and Tony knows it’s all his fault. He tries, at first, to be a decent date, but the conversation has turned dry and stilted. They spend the rest of the evening in silence.

Pepper sleeps in the guest suite and Tony doesn’t sleep at all.

-  
-

Tony pours himself a drink and catches a glimpse of his reflection in the window. It’s been rough since Pepper left.

Outside below, Rogers is talking with Fury and Hill. It occurs to him that Iron Man hasn’t been asked to a meeting, not even for consultation, in weeks. He thinks back to his conversation with Black Widow and puts the glass down.

-

Tony is trying out his new upgrades. If anyone notices that he’s chosen to test his newest Iron Man creation above Queens, well, that’s just circumstantial.

Stephen calls him, but he ignores it. He’s not in the mood to talk to anyone. Especially someone as unhelpful as Strange.

Moments later, he gets a call from Rhodey. “Oh, that’s just not fair,” he mutters under his breath. Tony hasn’t spoken to his best friend in ages; they’ve both just been so busy- Rhodey with his position in the military and Tony with his… drinking problem and alternating bouts of depression and mania.

He takes the call.

-

It would appear that Spider-Man lied to Black Widow about not being ready, because in the alley below, he has just webbed up five criminals.

“You guys were seriously willing to risk jail time for… _manhole covers_?” He sighs. “Seriously. This is what I’m dealing with right now?” he mutters under his breath. “What were you planning on doing with all… 185 of them? Rhetorical question- please, don’t answer. I don’t care.”

“Hey man-” There’s a _thwip_ and the criminal’s mouth is covered in webbing.

“Shhh,” Spidey says. “I really don’t want to know the origin story that led to all-” He gestures at their crates of stolen metal covers. “-all of… whatever is happening here.”  
  
It takes everything within Tony not to laugh. Spider-Man is a sassy little asshole and Iron Man _loves_ it.

This isn’t the boy he knew last year. At least, not completely. He’s still a chatty smart-mouth, but he holds himself with more confidence now. If it’s a front, it’s a well cultivated one.

Before the police arrive, Spider-Man makes his way to the roof of the building, a few feet from where Iron Man stands.

“Are you ignoring me or is this thing actually working?” Tony asks, disengaging his suit.

Spider-Man jumps and whips around to face him. When he sees that its Tony he takes a step back. “How long have you been here?” He asks, voice guarded, and turns his head away.

“Long enough to see you kick ass down there,” Tony almost adds ‘kid’, but somehow it doesn’t seem right, now.

“How are you avoiding Spider-Mom?” he asks, attempting a joke, when it becomes obvious Spider-Man isn’t going to say anything.

“I disabled her trackers,” the other man responds automatically. Then, he adds, “Same as I did with yours so how did you find me and _why_ couldn’t I tell you were here?” His voice is low and commanding but he still won’t look at Tony.

Again, he is struck by how different Peter is. Of course, Tony is used to Peter tampering with his tech, but he’s never been met with such disdain and annoyance by him. His Peter would have been happy to see him. He would have been excited to share about his evening of crime fighting and maybe even looked for a bit of encouragement. Instead of this tense, awkward distance they would have sat up here, side by side, and Peter would have talked his ear off and Tony would have been glad to let him.

If he had known those moments with Peter would be fleeting he would have cherished them. Made time for more of them instead of being too busy with his own life. His heart squeezes painfully.

“Testing out my new stealth mode,” he says, keeping his voice light. “Figured if Spidey couldn’t sense me, it must be working. Karen didn’t pick up on anything, either?”

Peter gasps. “How-” he stops abruptly, then starts over. “Yeah, sh-she was surprised, too.”

Tony doesn’t miss the quiver in Peter’s voice. So, the confidence is a front, after all. This new awareness drives Tony to try again.

“We could still use you on the team, Spider-Man,” he says, taking a few steps forward. “You don’t have to make up your mind right away. It’s a standing invitation. Whenever you’re ready.”

Tony can tell that Spider-Man is about to take off. Without thinking, he reaches out and grabs Peter’s wrist. “Whatever happened, whatever I did- Look, I can’t…” he clears his throat and tries again. “I’m going a little crazy over here,” he says with a laugh he hopes comes off as disarming because inside he feels like he’s about to lose it. “I know you need space but- throw a guy a bone, would ya, Pete?”

Spider-Man is unnervingly quiet.

“Peter?”

“I…” Spider-Man’s voice breaks. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll talk to you… soon. I promise. Just- I can’t right now. I’m sorry.” He slowly slips his arm from Tony’s grip and then he’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I googled, "dumbest thing ever stolen" because I couldn't think of anything. Apparently, in LA back in 1990 185 manhole covers were stolen. True story. 
> 
> NB: This is a slow burn, and Tony still has to mourn the loss of how things used to be with Peter. And Peter is dealing coping with all his junk, as well. But, at this point a few months have passed and while I don't want anyone to get their hopes up about the romance just yet, I just wanted to assure y'all that they will kind-of sort-of start talking more. Kind-of. Haha. ^^;;;


	5. Chapter 5

This time Tony actually isn’t following Peter, he just _happens_ to notice him in a coffee shop across the street as he scans his surroundings very, _very_ thoroughly. He half jogs across the street and steps in line at the bar without so much as a glance in Peter’s direction. He buys a cappuccino- “As dry as you can make it, thanks” -and situates himself so he can watch Peter discreetly from his phone.

Peter is sitting with a group of seven others. It looks like a meeting of some sort, but there’s too much laughing and casual touching for it to be business related.

“Here’s your cup of foam.”

“I don’t like being handed th-” Fuck. It’s Natasha.

“I’m not following him, I swear this was just a coincidence,” he says, straight faced.

“I know,” she replies calmly.

“I wasn’t going to bother him, either.”

At that response Natasha narrows her eyes and Tony gets the distinct urge to scoot the stir sticks out of her reach. "Go home. You're not doing yourself any favors," she says.

“Fine, fine,” he mutters and stands. He glances at Peter for a moment and their eyes meet. He looks away first and leaves. Once he reaches the end of the block, a hand grabs his wrist and he’s nearly jerked back by the sheer strength of the hold.

“Sorry,” someone says sheepishly. It’s… Peter.

Tony just stares at him, mouth slightly open. “Are you… Oh my god am I hallucinating?”

For a moment Peter’s expression screams, ‘are you fucking _kidding_ me right now?’ but he quickly takes a deep breath. “Hilarious. Really,” he says darkly and Tony feels like a complete tool.  

Before he can say anything to try to make amends, Peter keeps talking. “I just wanted to thank you for my suits,” he says. “They… It’s helped. I feel more like myself when I’m, you know, Spider-Man. So… Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me, kid,” he says fondly. He didn’t mean for the old familiar nickname to come out; it just did.

“I’m not a kid,” Peter says and he sounds miserable.

“Sorry. Habit,” Tony says quietly, trying to smile. “So, uh, making friends?” Tony asks lamely, tipping his head back toward the coffee shop.

Peter shrugs, looking at the ground. Tony can’t help but notices he still dresses pretty much the same as usual- graphic tee, fitted jeans, and _Nike_ trainers. He looks like a teenager until you really consider him, study his face. He’s still got his pretty boy looks, but his jaw is much more defined now and there’s no way eighteen-year-old Peter would be able to take credit for that five o’clock shadow.

“I guess,” Peter says and for a moment Tony forgets what the question had been. “It’s a support group,” Peter continues. “For, um, other people who went through, you know.”

Tony nods. “Yeah. That’s- that’s great. I’m glad you have people to talk to,” he says and he means it. If Peter won’t talk to him, at least he’s found a support system. At least someone is helping him through this.

…And at least it’s not always Thor.

Peter looks at him and says thank you, but he seems so uncomfortable. Tony’s chest aches painfully and he places a hand on Peter’s, pulling it from his wrist.

“It was good seeing you, Peter,” Tony says, almost whispers, and waves, continuing down the sidewalk toward his Aston Marton that’s kind-of sort-of in designated parking.

Peter catches up with him in three steps. “Wait!” he says. Tony pauses.

“I’ve been a real jerk, Ton- Mr. Stark,” he says awkwardly. “I’m sorry I took it out on you and I’d like to start over.” It sounds rehearsed. As if he’s repeated it to himself over and over again until it’s memorized. Or until he’s convinced himself it’s true.

Tony isn’t sure how to respond to all the mixed signals he’s getting so he just says, “You can call me Tony.”

Peter nods and takes his phone out of his back pocket. “We could, um, exchange numbers,” he mumbles, blushing.

Tony can’t help but grin and snatch Peter’s phone. “Call me anytime, Pete,” he says and saves his information. Good thing he had expanded the character limit on this year's model.

 **Contact Name** : You Know Who I Am  
**Number** : 310-424-xxxx

-

-

 **How are you doing?**  
**I’m almost done in London. Want to catch up next week?**

**Sure thing**

**How are you, Tony?**

**I’m doing better. Hope you’re well.**

**I miss you.**

**That your way of saying you're moving back in?**

**Tony... Please don’t. We agreed to be friends.**  
**You know we need to stop doing this to ourselves.**

 **Can’t blame a man for trying, Pep.**  
**You’re a great woman.**  
**Thanks for everything… I mean it.**

 **I love you, Tony. Take care of yourself.**  
**Goodnight.**

-

Tony hasn’t left his lab in two days and has barely spoken to anyone since he began to work on his latest projects. He desperately wants to drink so instead he stays busy. It’s well passed midnight and his phone alerts him of a message. It’s from Peter.

**Could maybe use some back up?**

**Be there in 5**

-

Well. At least now Tony can cross, “slay giant plant monster,” off of his Bucket List. Or, at least he could if it had ever been there to begin with. He wipes what he hopes is mostly water off of his face-plate and can’t help but curl a lip in distaste.

“For the record, I didn’t know that would happen when I tightened my webbing.”

Iron Man holds up a hand. “It’s fine. I’ve been covered in worse.” A pause. “I mean, I’ve been covered in _better_ , that’s for damn sure. But. I’ll survive.”

Spider-Man snorts and then seems to remember himself. He looks off and rubs at the back of his arm; he’s uncomfortable again. Tony thought for sure fighting together had been enough to break the ice; they’d really been in sync. But Peter’s shutting him out again. Tony sighs.

“Well, it’s been fun, but I’ve gotta split. See ya, Pete.”

“Thanks for helping,” Peter says quietly, distantly.

“Anytime,” Tony replies. “I mean it.”

-

“Want to explain this?” Nick asks, indicating to a photo of Spider-Man and Iron Man that had been taken the previous night.

Tony turns and glares at Natasha who glares right back. “You were warned,” she says. “And it wasn’t me. I just got back from Bolivia.”

“If he wants to be a hero, he’s got to play by the rules,” Fury says. “Have him come in and get registered or we take the suit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This feels so filler-y. I'm sorry! But I had to get these scenes in before I posted the part from Peter's POV. Next chapter we'll take a look at everything that's happened with Peter up to this point. Hope you're here for the angst cause there's gonna be lots, y'all. 
> 
> I wasn't trying to write long!fic but the more I plan the more it's turning into one. Whooo boy. 
> 
> Also, question! I want to write a one shot or two expounding on some of the scenes from Everlong. Or maybe write about something that wasn't even brought up, but could fit in the story. What would y'all be interested in reading? I was going to include smut as well, haha. I just didn't think any full on sex scenes would feel right in that fic but it would def work in a one shot. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: Like, nothing about my version of the Soul Stone is canon compliant except for the whole perfect world/it's kinda sentient thing. Also, I think that in the MCU Stark Tower will most likely end up being Oscorp (I mean come on, hello) or the Bugle. (But, my money is on Oscorp.) However, this story wouldn't benefit from the addition of Harry, so I turned it into what it really is in real life. There will be conflict in the fic, but I just don't feel like rehashing the Green Goblin.

He can’t stand to stay holed up in his room at the compound anymore and talking to May is still too hard, so Peter has taken to roaming the grounds while everyone around him carries on like usual. The forest surrounding the facility is large enough to keep him occupied for hours and he finds an access path, too narrow for a car, and follows it.

Peter comes upon an impossibly large tree and looks up, placing a hand on the bark and beginning to climb. When he’s about fifty feet up, he sits on a branch.

Inhale.

Exhale.

He flattens his hand against the bark, feeling every bump and groove. The air is thick and hot and smells like pine. The sky is clear and bright, and he hears different birds calling to one another.

Inhale.

Exhale.

He’s fine. He’s _fine_.

The wood splinters in his grip and he blinks when he sees blood on his palm. He hadn’t even noticed. He closes his eyes.

“I’m fine,” he hisses.

Inhale.

Exhale.

“Peter Parker!” a booming voice calls.

Startled, Peter looks down and sees… Thor? Only he looks different. His hair is cut short and his hammer is nowhere in sight.

Thor grins from ear to ear, waves, and beckons him down. Peter stares for a moment, then gives a small nod.

“I have heard much about you and was eager to make your acquaintance!” Thor extends a large hand and Peter takes it.

It’s strange, Peter thinks, meeting someone for the first time when you already know them.

“I look forward to fighting along side you in the future,” Thor says, gripping his forearm.

Peter isn’t sure what to say. “Uh… yeah. You, too.”

Thor throws an arm over his shoulders and drags him off further into the forest. “Come, my friend. I wish to speak with you.”

That is the absolute _last_ thing Peter wants to do.

“Did we meet in the Soul Stone?” Thor asks casually.

Peter stops dead in his tracks. “What?”

“In the Stone,” Thor says without missing a beat. “I _was_ there, correct?”

Peter blinks. Is it just his imagination or does Thor sound like he might be upset if Peter says no?

“Yeah…” Peter says slowly. “How do you…?”

“Ha! I knew it. Take that, Brother,” he raises a fist in triumph. “I may not be well versed in magic, but I understand a few things about the Infinity Stones. You are an Avenger; it’s only natural you would create a world with your team mates.”

Peter nods quietly. He doesn’t… He doesn’t really want to talk about this.

“And so, what did you glean?”

“I’m sorry?” he asks, completely taken aback.

“What did you learn? From the Stone?”

“I don’t… What?” Peter asks, starting to freak out.

“The Soul Stone creates the perfect world. On Asgard, it is thought to have the ability to point a warrior in the direction of their True Path. The Wizard says it’s what some Earth cultures would call your Dharma.”

Peter is torn between wanting to laugh and having a nervous breakdown.

“I don’t- I didn’t learn anything,” he mumbles.

“You jest!” Thor exclaims jovially. “I have never met anyone -Asgardian or otherwise- who didn’t learn something from their visit to the Soul World.” A pause. “Surely… Surely _I_ imparted some important wisdom?” he asks, not even bothering to hide the fact that he’s fishing for praise.

Peter thinks for a moment. Then says, “No. Not really.”

Thor’s face falls. “Well, perhaps-”

“Look, what do you want?” Peter finally snaps. “You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, so what are you trying to accomplish?”

Thor gives him a small smile. “Stark said you were there for nearly a decade. That is a long time for a Midgardian. And yet here you are, of whole mind and body. I do not know what it is like to wake up and learn that your truth is suddenly an illusion. But I dearly love someone who does. He lived years- _centuries_ -believing he was one thing only to learn that he was something entirely… different.” He pauses. “It nearly broke him. For a time… it did.”

“Your brother?” Peter asks quietly.

Thor nods. “You may feel alone and out of place,” he continues. “But you’re not. I swear it. You have many friends here who would gladly stand by you during this difficult time.”

-

After that, Peter and Thor make it a habit of hanging out.

“Naturally, I won,” Thor says as he finishes his story.

Peter raises a brow. “No, you didn’t,” he laughs.

Thor glares. “No, I’m pretty sure I _did_.”

“No. No, you definitely had your ass handed to you,” Peter insists. “The Hulk liked to brag about that one. A lot,” Peter explains.

Thor pouts and mutters to himself.

It isn’t until the evening that Peter realizes the first and only other time he’d heard this story- of Thor and The Hulk fighting on Sakaar- had been in the Soul Stone.

-

“And I got _this_ one to commemorate our great battle!” Thor says, showing off the small tattoo on the inside of his bicep. “It is a rabbit!” he says proudly.

“Yeah… That’s a racoon,” Peter laughs.

-

Peter has a small box he keeps hidden in his closet. In it are three things: The suit he’d worn the night he came back, his watch, and his old phone. He tries not to look at it too much because it hurts. But sometimes he can’t help himself.

He picks up the watch first and rubs a thumb over the expensive leather. Now that he knows what had really happened, he finds it ironic that the first gift Soul Stone Tony had given him was a timepiece. He wonders if it was meant to be a clue, or if the Soul Stone is just a big douche that thought it was funny. He finds it ironic that the year is correct now, too. He puts it down, annoyed.

Peter looks at the suit and gently picks it up, pressing it to his face. Tony had picked it out- had even flown a designer in from Italy to take his measurements, actually. It’s dark grey and Peter doesn’t remember the name of the designer but he can still smell Tony on it. He takes his time folding it back up and brushes his fingers over the fabric before putting it away.

Then Peter turns the phone on. A few weeks ago, this had been a new model. Now, it is outdated by several years. Luckily, he can still keep it powered. He climbs in bed and pretends, just for a moment, that if he turns it on all the texts and all the photos that used to exist will be there.

-

Peter walks around Midtown Manhattan; this place that once felt like home to him is a stranger now. He can’t help but look up for Stark Tower, hoping it might still look the same, but- It’s MetLife now. That’s too much to think about and he quickly turns around and looks for something, anything, to distract himself with before he screams.

He wanders into a coffee shop and sees a flyer for a support group for those affected by Thanos; they meet there weekly, and Peter starts to attend from time to time. But he never shares his story.

-

“He was a m-mechanic,” the teen says around a sob. “He was sober again and p-picked me up from school and made dinner.” She laughs sadly. “He taught me how to fix a car and we even drove out west, like he used to talk about.” She pauses for a minute. “I’ve never been there before,” she whispers. “But I looked it all up on YouTube. It all looks the same. I- I really did go there.”

A few people nod, and some make sympathetic sounds.

“Is your dad still around?” someone asks.

“I don’t know where he is,” she says, miserable. “He left me and mom a few years ago.”

“Do you want to reach out to him?”

She wipes at her eyes and scoffs. “Why should I? He’s never tried to reach out. He doesn’t care about me.”

Peter is suddenly hit with a pain in his chest, thinking about how devastated Tony looks every time Peter brushes him off. But then he remembers everything _he’s_ lost and so why should he care about _this_ Tony Stark?

 _This_ man lost, what, his pet project? A would-be protégé? Peter’s insides burn with anger. It feels better than sadness, so he stews in it, turning all his anguish into hatred.

Fuck Tony Stark.

-

“How are you doing, son?” Captain Rogers asks him one morning.

Peter is instantly on edge.

Rogers is the only one, aside from Stark, that Peter has been avoiding. In the Soul Stone, the Civil War had never happened. But now he remembers everything and Rogers suddenly wanting to talk to him makes him twitch a bit. He clenches and unclenches his fists.

He’d been on his way to take a walk, something he and Thor had gotten into a habit of doing during his visit, and he’s decided to keep it up. He finds it very grounding.

“I’m fine,” he says shortly and tries to walk around him, but Rogers puts himself in his path again.

“What do you want?” Peter asks, tipping his chin up. He skips the title on purpose.

“I just wanted to check up on you. You haven’t been attending status meetings.”

Peter blinks. Is this guy for real?

“Status meetings,” he dead pans.

Rogers nods. “Look, Peter, I’ll just get to the point. I understand that you’re going through a difficult time, but you’ve got to get back into the swing of things if you want to move forward. So, attend the meetings.” He pauses, as if considering his next words. “And… you’re not the only one hurting,” he says softly. “I just want you to be aware of that. So… how long are you going to keep avoiding Tony?”

After that, they argue but Peter isn’t really sure what’s happening. He hates Tony for haunting him, he hates Rogers for abandoning his friend, and suddenly he’s sticking up for Stark. What the _hell_. Peter is so angry- at the world, at himself, at fucking _everything_.

He punches Rogers so hard he feels the taller man’s jaw crack.

-

Peter takes the first bus back to the city. May welcomes him with open arms and he let’s himself fall into her, sobbing.

-

He finds his way to 177A Bleecker Street easily enough.

Stephen opens the door and attempts a smile, but his lips seem to be stuck in a long, thin line. He tilts his head and stares at him. “Hello, Peter. How nice of you to join me and my… _friend_ for breakfast. At eight AM. On a Tuesday. Uninvited.”

“Yeah,” Peter says. “Sorry, Mr. …?”

“Strange. And its Doctor.”

Peter runs a hand through his hair. “Look… I’m a complete mess.”

“Yeah, I can see that. But why are you here?”

“I need your help,” Peter huffs. “Obviously.”

Christine comes to the door and makes Stephen invite him in.

“Do I have two of them, now?” Stephen says under his breath. “I did _not_ want two of them.”

-

“What can you tell me about the Soul Stone?” Peter asks after Christine leaves for the hospital.

“What do you want to know?”

“I want to know if- if any of it is real, I guess.”

Stephen shakes his head no. “It is a convincing double,” he concedes, “but it’s not real.”

“So, my…” Peter has to force himself to continue, “I spent four years earning my biophysics degree. That’s not… That wasn’t real?”

“I didn’t say that,” Stephen corrects.

Peter feels a head ache coming on.

“Everything you did,” Stephen continues, “everything you experienced- it all happened. If you read a book, learned a new skill, tried something you’ve never tried before- it happened. But it happened in a dimension that only exists when you’re there.”

“So, what about the clothes I came back in? They’re real, aren’t they?”

“Glitch in the Matrix,” Stephen says with a shrug. “What, did you want to come back naked?”

“No!” Peter blushes.

“What about the things I knew. Like about Thor and Bruce on Sakaar? I’d never met Thor before the Soul Stone but I learned about him in there. I _talked_ to him.”

“That’s the beauty of its power,” Stephen says. “It’s nearly sentient. It knows what you want and it draws from your desires and the worlds around it to deliver.”

Peter thinks for a moment, then chooses his words carefully. “So, because I wanted to… be a part of the Avengers, the Soul Stone let me… get to know them?”

“Were you and Stark lovers?” Stephen asks so suddenly Peter feels like he’s been doused in cold water.

“Wh-“ He clears his throat and hopes his face isn’t as red as he thinks it is. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You avoid him and talk to everyone else. He tries to be your mentor again and you skulk off, huffing.” A pause. Stephen smirks. “You punched Captain Rogers.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Peter quickly says, panicking. “You can’t just _say_ stuff like that!”

“The last time I saw you, you thought Tony hung the moon. The Soul Stone creates the perfect world and you were gone for a very long time. And then you come back avoiding him?” Stephen sits back and takes a sip of tea and Peter is pretty sure that pot of tea hadn’t been there a second ago. “I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but come on, Peter.”

-

When he gets back to his Aunt’s apartment, Natasha is sitting at his desk.

“So, you punched Steve in the face,” she says. “I think we need to talk.”

“I know, I’m sorry-” Natasha holds up her hand.

“You’re not in trouble. Steve knows he crossed a line. He’s just a bit desperate for Tony to forgive him,” she says with a shrug.

Peter wants to roll his eyes. Why should Tony forgive him after Rogers abandoned him?

But then, what is Peter doing right now?  

-

It’s late Friday evening when May knocks at his door.

“There’s some people here to see you,” she says, and she can barely contain the grin on her face.

“Oh, my fucking _god,_ Peter!” MJ screams and hurls herself at him. Ned quickly follows suit.

Peter can’t help it; he bursts into tears. “H-holy shit, you guys.” His voice shakes but he’s smiling. “How’d you… I thought you’d be off at school?”

“It’s the weekend, duh bitch!” MJ says.

“Mr. Stark picked us up,” Ned says. “Well, his jet. But still. _Awesome_.”  

-

A few weeks later Peter comes home to find a package from Tony Stark on his kitchen table. It’s his Spider-Man suit.

-

The hair on the back of his neck stands on end. A moment later Tony Stark walks in and Peter’s heart swells. He immediately looks away and tries to pay attention to who ever is sharing their story today but keeps glancing back to Tony who is seated facing away from him.

Peter hasn’t been able to stop thinking about him since the night he’d spoken with Iron Man. He’d promised to talk to him soon. Maybe he should just… rip off the band-aid?

But. He doesn’t think he’s ready to face Tony. Honestly, he doesn’t think he ever _will_ be. But Tony has been so thoughtful and kind to him… He can’t... No matter how he's feeling, he can't keep doing this to him. Peter has been trying to ignore the fact, caught up in his his own pain, but Tony is a true friend. He deserves better.

No matter how hard it's going to be for Peter.

Mind made up, he glances at Tony who is now standing to leave. Their eyes meet. For a moment he’s frozen on the spot, but then Tony looks away and leaves. Before he can change his mind, Peter follows Tony outside. They exchange numbers and when Peter sees what Tony saves his contact as, his mouth runs dry.

He’s in trouble.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor+Peter bromance FTW. And I'm sorry for the bad Sherlock Holmes joke. I had to, haha. Also, I guess this is the part where Peter and Tony do that awkward sort-of friendship thing for a while. Ugh, these two.


	7. Extras

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just thought I'd share some doodles I did of stuff from the Series. :) And I had to make the meme lol. Next chapter is coming tonight!! :)


	8. Chapter 8

“Where is Stark?” Thaddeus Ross demands.

“He’ll be here,” Rhodes says evenly.

Ross folds his arms across his chest. “We’ll have to start without him,” he says and begins to pull up video after video and photo after photo of Spider-Man stopping bank robberies, saving a crowd from a wayward steel beam, and even rescuing victims of human trafficking.

Ross calls him an unstable vigilante who had better fall in line or else.

“Has this boy- this man- been evaluated? Do we even know if he’s well enough to be doing this?” he asks. “Are you prepared for a man who has twenty-five times the strength of Captain Rogers to turn on you?”

“Peter is stable,” Natasha replies, voice cool. “I’ve been shadowing him.”

“Oh, so you knew about his little night time patrols?”

“I’ve also had other assignments,” she concedes. “But I hardly think someone who rescues people on a weekly basis is about to turn on us.”

Ross nods, lips pursed. “Let me see if I’ve got this,” he says. “Spider-Man hasn’t had a psych evaluation, and then you all just let him leave with his suit and barely any supervision?”

Rhodes clears his throat and gives Rogers a pointed look.

“We thought staying with his aunt would do him some good,” Rogers says. “I allowed it and I won’t apologize for it. He needs his family. But I was not aware he had his suit. This is the first I’m hearing about any of this.” He clenches his jaw and pointedly looks away from Natasha.

“Sorry I’m late but I didn’t really want to be here.” It’s Tony.

Rhodey rolls his eyes. “It’s about damn time,” he says.

“Perfect timing, Mr. Stark!” Ross says sarcastically. “Care to explain this?”

He pulls up a photo of Iron Man standing on a roof with Spider-Man.

Rhodey runs a hand over his face. Bruce takes a deep breath. Rogers opens his mouth to talk, but Tony beats him to it.

“Looks like Spidey saved the day,” he takes a sip of his coffee. “Oh, and I helped.”

“I didn’t expect this from you, Stark.”

Tony waves a hand and flops down in a seat next to Bruce. “Relax, Thunderbolt. The kid will come around.”

“And until he does he’s not to act on his own. Is that clear?”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure,” he says.

“Give us a week,” Rogers says. “I’ll talk to Peter.”

Tony snorts. “Yeah, I’m sure that will work out for you,” he mutters with a smirk.

Rogers doesn’t take the bait.

“See that you do,” Ross says. “Because if you don’t, he’ll be arrested.”

“That won’t be necessary, Mr. Secretary,” Rogers says sharply.

-

“I told you to leave Peter alone!” Natasha seethes.

“Excuse you, but he sought _me_ out.” The second time, anyway. But Natasha doesn’t need to know that.

She purses her lips. “Just make sure you clean this mess up, Tony.”

“Yes, mistress.”

“And clear things up with Steve. Bruce and I have had it up to here with both of you.”

“Move in with Barton and all his tiny little agents if you don’t like it,” Tony grouses. “I don’t have anything to say to him.”

-

When Tony arrives at May’s apartment, Steve Rogers is sitting across from Peter at the kitchen table. Tony makes it a point to ignore Rogers, like usual.

“How’s it going, Spider-Boy?”

“Um, hi,” Peter says with a smile but doesn’t meet his gaze. “If you came over to talk about the Accords, don’t worry about it. Ro- Captain Rogers already explained everything to me. I don’t mind signing, seems fair enough.”

Tony narrows his eyes. Oh, one official visit and suddenly its Captain again? What happened to, ‘ _Tony needed you, too_ ’? Little traitor.

“It would have been nice if you had mentioned it to me,” Peter mumbles, face red. “Left a note with the suit. Or something. I’m trying to get a job, not get thrown in the Raft.”

“Yes. Well.” Tony clears his throat. “That was, perhaps, an oversight on my part.”

“Yeah. _Perhaps_ ,” Peter sasses him and Tony can’t help but grin a bit. Peter immediately looks away.

“So, we’ll see you at the meeting on Monday?” Rogers says, standing to leave.

“Oh, um. Yes, sir,” Peter says.

Rogers sticks his hand out. Peter hesitates, then takes it.

“I’m sorry for punching you,” he says sheepishly.

“No hard feelings.” Rogers smiles. “I’m glad Tony has a friend like you,” he says warmly.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Alright, I’m bored,” he says. “Peter, we’re getting cheeseburgers.”

-

“Yeah, I _know_ I need a job, but I don’t want anything handed to me.”

“Alright, fine, if you won’t just _take_ a job, will you at least accept an interview?”

“Tony…”

“An application, then. Just apply. I’m not involved in any of those decisions, I swear. And if you make the cut, then you’ll consider?”

“Maybe.”

“Peter. What’s the issue? I just want to help you. It’s my fault you got sucked into this whole mess in the first place. The least I could do is offer you an amazing job with incredible benefits.”

“Tony… I can’t just… Why are you doing this? You really don’t owe me anything. I promise.”

“I know I don’t. But you’re my friend and I want to, and I can. So.”

“You shouldn’t-”

“Thank you.”

“What?”

“The words you’re looking for are ‘thank you’. You’re welcome.”

“Tony-”

“ _Shh_. You’re welcome.”

-

 Tony is in his garage tinkering with the Spider-Mobile and blasting _Foo Fighters_.

“I should show Spidey his shiny new toy. She’s ready for her debut,” he says with a grin, running his hands over the hood.

“FRIDAY, text Peter. Tell him I’ve got a surprise. And send a driver to pick him up.”

“Yes, sir.”

A few moments pass, then, “Sir, you have an incoming video message from Peter Parker.”

“Play it.”

“Sup Mr. Stark!” A young woman says. It’s Peter’s friend, Michelle. “I’m sorry Peter can’t come to the phone right now because he’s too busy helping Ned explain hashtags to Thor.” She turns the camera briefly to show the living room in May’s apartment. On the couch sits Thor, squinting his eyes at a Starkphone. Ned and Peter sit on either side of him. “And also, this is our weekend with him so cancel the Uber driver. Honestly, you know better. Bye.” She ends the video call abruptly. MJ is charmingly insufferable as always.

And Tony is, apparently, jealous of a bunch of teenagers. A bunch of teenagers and Thor. Fantastic.  

Maybe he should take Shotgun out for a joyride and visit Pepper. “I’ve got other friends, _too_ , Peter,” he grumbles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though I'm Team Iron Man, I do love Steve... So, they'll sort it out. Eventually. Maybe. Love ya Steve, but you done fucked up, dude. And since Thor doesn't really understand e-mail... can you imagine explaining Tumblr to him? Oh, Thor. Bless.


	9. Chapter 9

Pepper is apparently “seeing someone”. She says it’s not serious, but Tony still doesn’t like it. He’s got no right to be upset, though. It’s not as if she hadn’t given him opportunity after opportunity to change over the years. Still-

This time last year they’d been talking about starting a family. Now, she’s winetasting with _David_ the Marine Biologist. Where do you even _meet_ a Marine Biologist. He snorts and has FRIDAY run a background check on him. Nothing comes up and he’s not sure how to feel about it.

But. At least Pepper sounds happy.

-

Auckland is as good a place as any to get away from everyone who is apparently doing just fine without him.

-

His private estate has a view of Rangitoto Island and he spends his first few days alternating between drinking on his back patio and getting his lab in working order. He thinks about calling a staff in but changes his mind and has Dum-E flown in instead.

By the third morning he’s had enough of Sal’s Pizza. He walks into town in a hoodie and sunglasses to get some groceries and stops at a café on his way back. He checks his phone and sees that Pepper’s new relationship is trending. Tony rolls his eyes but can’t help but click on the link.

**Pepper Potts with New Mystery Man!**

_Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries, has apparently moved on for good this time!_

_Potts was spotted with her new mystery beau at her charity gala last evening, and our sources confirmed that they also spent the night at her Malibu home._

_Potts and ex-boyfriend, Tony Stark, renowned superhero Iron Man, have been on-again-off-again since 2010. Stark, who is currently out of the country, was unable to comment. A friend close to Potts told us that the two of them have been having problems since the alien invasion last summer._

_Potts’ rep did not immediately return a request for comment._

- 

Tony thinks he’d much rather have scotch than another fucking panic attack, thank you _very_ much.

-

He’s heaving before he’s fully awake and he stumbles off the couch, tripping over the coffee table. “Jesus _Christ_ , my head,” he groans as he leans against the kitchen sink, just in case.

“How are we feeling this morning, honey?” someone says much more loudly than they need to. It’s Stephen.

“Like shit.”

“Yes, well, you’re not 25 anymore.”

“Oh god, stop talking,” he whines. “What the hell happened…”

“I’m glad you asked,” Stephen says sarcastically and turns the television on. He opens YouTube and doesn’t even have to type anything in the search bar; the video Stephen is looking for is trending.

He opens it. It’s a shaky, hand held recording of Tony in sun glasses, jeans, and a t-shirt. He’s drinking at Sky Tower, flanked by security. They ask him to leave and he ignores them. They move to grab his arms, but he stands up and shrugs them off. “Listen,” he says. “I’m pretty sure I own this building, so-”

He staggers to the side and falls over. The video ends.

“Well. That explains the headache.”

“I’d say it’s fifty percent head injury, fifty percent Johnnie Walker,” Stephen quips.

“Okay, well, this has been great and all, but I’ve got a hangover to nurse, sooo.”

“Tony,” Stephen says softly, “I’m sorry about Pepper.”

Tony heads down the hallway and raises his hand in acknowledgement. “Eh, it’s not the first time she’s broken up with me,” he attempts a joke.

-

He wakes up in the middle of the night. Stephen is gone, but he’s left a note promising to check in again. Tony supposes Strange doesn’t have to stay on his shit list forever.

He’s stiff and thirsty as hell, but at least he doesn’t feel like death warmed over anymore. He checks his phone and sees he’s got an alarming amount of missed calls from Pepper. He frowns and calls her back. She picks up on the first ring.

“Pep? You alright?”

“Oh, thank god. I thought- I don’t know what I thought,” she says and takes a deep breath. “I saw you on the news and-”

“Pepper. I’m fine. Honestly.” He glances at his watch. It’s three in the morning here, which makes it eight AM in Malibu. And she’s been calling for hours. “Pep, how long have you been up?” he asks. “Get some rest. I’m alright.”

“Get some _rest_?!” she exclaims. “I know you, Tony Stark, you need to come home and-”

“Pep.”

“Don’t you ‘Pep’ me, Tony, this is not okay, why-”

“Pep.”

“-No! I’m not going to listen to whatever ridiculous-”

Tony gives a breathy laugh. “ _Pepper_. Breathe.”

He can feel her fuming over the phone.

“You mean the world to me,” Tony says. “I mean it. I know I wouldn’t be who I am today without you and I’ll always appreciate that. But, Pep, you gotta stop doing this.”

“Stop doing what?”

“Stop trying to save me from myself. It’s… It’s not your job. Hell, it never should have been your job in the first place, and I’m sorry.” He runs a hand through his hair. All of the “what ifs” and “if onlys” hang in the air around him, thick like fog.

“Tony…”

“Listen, Pep. I’ll be fine. I will. So you go… You go save some baby seals with David, alright?”

She laughs. “I love you, Tony. Take care of yourself.”

-

He wakes up again at seven and wonders how much longer he’s got until Fury or Coulson or fucking Rogers comes to drag him home. He doesn’t bother to change; he just has Dum-E make him a pot of coffee and gets to work on a prototype of a new subdermal interface.

FRIDAY announces an incoming call from Peter Parker. He answers it.

“Oh, so you _do_ still have my number,” Tony says.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you back,” Peter says quickly. “I just, uh… Anyway, I’m sorry.”

Tony smirks. “I’m just messing with you. So. I’m guessing you saw the YouTube video?”

“Well, I actually saw the gif first. But. Yeah.”

“Ah.”

“Are you… okay?” Peter asks awkwardly.

“Are _you_?” Tony retorts. “You sound like you’re reading from a cue card, Spiderling.”

“I’m not!”

“FRIDAY, switch to video.”

Peter actually shrieks and throws the phone down. Tony catches a flash of abs and raises a brow.

“My, my, calling me in the nude, Spider-Man? What would Aunt May think.”

Peter picks his phone up again. He’s thrown on a hoodie and his cheeks have gone pink.

“Seriously, Tony?” he asks. “I’m trying to check in on you. Cut it out.” A pause. “When… are you coming back?”

“Why, miss me?”

Dum-E approaches, holding a mostly full cup of coffee.

“Oh my god, Dum-E! Hi!” Peter says, nearly tripping over his words. The little robot practically vibrates and waves its claw. Tony raises a brow. “And you two know each other, how?”

Peter looks around anxiously. “Uh. I saw him on a PBS Documentary?”

Tony narrows his eyes, suddenly noticing the door frame behind Peter. It looks _oddly_ familiar.

“Peter, zoom out.”

“What?”

“Let me see the room.”

“Wh- why?”

“Never mind, I’ll do it.”

Tony hacks into Peter’s phone in less than thirty seconds and has a look around the room through his camera lens.

“You’re back at the compound?” Tony asks, shocked.

Peter shrugs and still isn’t sure where to look. “It was part of the deal. Sign the Accords and move in with my babysitters and I can keep being Spider-Man.”

Tony nods. “That’s… That’s great,” he says.

“Are you in trouble?” Peter asks as he climbs up the wall. He crouches on the ceiling and Tony chuckles.

“What?” Peter asks.

“Fell better in your natural habitat?”

Peter rolls his eyes.

“I’m definitely most likely in trouble,” Tony says, nodding. “But do I care? No. Not really.”

“So, are you ever going to tell me how you’re feeling?” Peter asks.

“I don’t know, Peter, are you ever going to tell me why you’re keeping me at arms length?”

Tony can hear him swallow.

“I… I’m sorry about how weird I’m being,” Peter says sheepishly. “But I’m trying. I told you I was trying…” his voice trails off.

Tony sighs. “It’s fine, it’s fine.” He pauses. “Thanks for calling.”

“Uh. You’re welcome?” Peter coughs nervously.

“So, when’s your interview?” Tony asks.

Peter glares at him. “Tony, you said you wouldn’t-”

He throws up his hands. “Hey! I didn’t do anything, I just asked to be CCed on the applications that got accepted. I had nothing to do with the decision!”

Peter looks like he doesn’t quite believe him, but after a moment he says, “It’s next Friday.”

“Awesome. I’ll take you to my tailor. Get you some new duds. The works!”

Peter protests and Tony insists.

They talk for well over two hours.

-

**Tony-**

**I know you don’t want to talk to me but I had to give you a heads up. Ross is out for your blood. Coulson’s sent some agents to bring you in. Officially you’ll be on leave but they want to put you under house arrest. Please just come back now so we can avoid any escalation.**

**-Steve**

A few minutes later, another e-mail arrives.

**T-**

**I’m sorry about Pepper. And I’m sorry about… about everything else. I miss you, Tony. Please talk to me.**

**-S**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me but I don't think I will be able to update at all until Monday. I have class all weekend (I'm getting my yoga teacher training certification!) and I will be way busy. However, I will try to post! Just no promises. Have a great week end~ Namaste, y'all. xoxo


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: The section written in past tense is a dream/flash-back of sorts. I just thought reading that much text in italics would be annoying.

Tony drinks a coffee and looks out the window of his private jet. Agents will be arriving at his Mission Bay estate in about- Oh. Right now. He hates to admit it, but he might owe Rogers a thank you for the heads up- SHIELD has certainly gone all out; Tony might have gotten a stain on his shirt. And this shirt is silk.

He has an incoming call; its Rhodey.

“Stark, that jet better be on a one-way flight to the compound or I swear I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Calm down, mom. I’m on my way. Thought I’d get a _little_ more me time than a few days, but hey, duty calls.”

“You could have had all the ‘me time’ in the world if you didn’t illegally enter a foreign country and then proceed to make a spectacle of yourself.”

“Jesus, Rhodey. You don’t get to talk to me that way unless we’re sleeping together, and we are most definitely _not_ sleeping together. I’d know. Most likely.”

Rhodey sighs. “Tony, why didn’t you just come to see me, or call me? I would have come back. I would have taken the time off,” he says, voice sincere. “I didn’t know about Pepper,” he adds quietly.

“You’re busy making sure the government doesn’t try to stomp all over us. That’s just a tad more important than holding my hand through my annual mental break down.”

“Tony, man, I love you, but you don’t think this sort of bullshit gives me even _more_ work?”

“Oh no, I seem to be losing service,” Tony says and ends the call.

-

**Tony,**

**I know you told me not to worry, but I guess it’s in my DNA. I can’t help with the NZ government, but I smoothed things over with Stephens. He wanted me to remind you that you do not, in fact, own Sky Tower, but he was gracious enough to lift your ban. I suppose your generous donation to his favorite charity didn’t hurt.**

**Pepper**

-

Rogers is waiting at the entrance to Tony’s workshop.

“Glad to have you back home,” he says.

“Thanks for the heads up,” Tony says evenly, ignoring the greeting in favor of just getting the show of gratitude over with. He doesn’t look at Rogers as he lets himself in. He tries to shut the door behind him but Rogers catches it with his hand. “Are you feeling any better?” he asks.

Tony pauses and tilts his head a bit, almost glancing in Roger’s direction, then keeps walking.

“Ross wants to conference with us first thing in the morning,” Rogers says after a painful amount of time has passed with no response from Tony.

“Yeah,” Tony says, drawing the word out sarcastically, “I read my messages, too, Rogers.”

“Look, I get that you hate me,” Rogers sighs. “But can we just… talk?”

“If it’ll finally shut you up, sure. Fine. Shut the fucking door and have a seat.”

Steve glances around from the office area to the varies work stations but Tony heads for a small red vehicle. With nowhere to sit, Steve awkwardly stands off to the side.

“What,” he clears his throat. “What are you working on?”

“The Spider emblem didn’t clue you in?” Tony asks, pointed at the hood.

“Right.”

“Is this little chat going anywhere anytime soon?”

“Yes. Sorry. I just-” Steve looks away, frustrated. “Look, I just need you to know that I never wanted any of this to happen. I can’t… Tony, I can’t stand this distance between us. You’re my best friend. I never should have kept anything from you. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not sorry,” Tony says. “You just hate feeling guilty. Well, you did what you did. I’m not going to make you feel better. I don’t give a damn how you feel, anymore. I know… I know he was- a victim, too. But you should have told me.”

“Tony-”

“You should have _told_ me. Now if that’s all, get the fuck out.”

-

-

Sometimes Tony still dreams about how things used to be. In the beginning.

-

“You alright?” he asked Steve.

Captain America looked up at him from the couch. The light streaming in through the tall windows of the tower only served to illuminate just how weary the young man looked.

“I’ve honestly been better,” Steve said quietly. “I just… I am happy to be here, and I appreciate everything, but… I’m so _tired_. I’m tired of not knowing what’s going on. I’m tired of not understanding all the references you fellas make, tired of not knowing the right thing to say. I’m just… tired.”

There was a grey to Steve’s complexion that Tony hadn’t noticed before. His eyes were dim, too, and he almost looked small, the way he sat.  But his gaze didn’t waver, and Tony could have sworn he felt a plea in the silence.

Tony nods. “Honestly, I’m sick of everyone here, too. I’ve got an entire collection of films from _The Great Train Robbery_ on down if you’re interested.”

“I finally got a reference,” Steve said with a grin. He still looked tired, but less defeated now. “But I want to watch something more modern.” He cast his eyes to the ground, embarrassed. “Maybe something current? So I can maybe understand what everyone is talking about?”

Tony nodded, expression serious. “Alright. If you’re sure… Realty TV it is, then.”

“Thanks, Tony!” Steve said.

Tony gave a chuckle a pat Steve’s shoulder. “Oh, you sweet summer child. Let’s not thank me just yet. JARVIS, Play Jersey Shore.”

“Of course, sir. Would you like to pick up where you left off or would you like to start from the beginning for the benefit of Mr. Rogers?”

“Ha. You’re really dying for a reprogramming aren’t you, buddy.”

“Whatever you say, sir.”

“Dammit JARVIS just play from the beginning.”

“Of course, sir.”

Jersey Shore gave Steve a head-ache, so they didn’t watch much. But, the next time the team was all together Clint tried to convince Thor that ‘DTF’ meant ‘Dude, the Fuck,’ and was a Very Cool thing to say. Steve promptly called him out and Natasha had elbowed Clint in the ribs, laughing at him. For once, Steve wasn’t the butt of a joke.

Steve shot Tony the sort of look you give someone when you crave their approval. Tony gave him a grin and joined in on giving Clint a hard time.

After that, TV night became a weekly thing for the two of them, and Tony decided he liked how it felt to have a brother.

-

-

“Prime Minister Ardern has graciously agreed to forgive your breech of the Accords so long as you agree to submit to a psych eval,” Ross says sternly via conference hologram. Tony lazily spins around in his chair and looks at his phone, ignoring him.

Rhodey grabs the chair, stopping him. “He’ll be there, sir,” he says.

“Of course he will. Stark isn’t to leave the compound until further notice.”

-

Tony isn’t supposed to have access to the report the psychologist has turned into the United Nations, but he does anyway. He reads it and rolls his eyes.

His “true narcissistic pathology is incredible insecurity underneath” and his “attachment to his robotic creations is both enabling and worrisome”. He “exhibits classic signs of anxiety disorder” and “could benefit greatly from psychotherapy, to address the PTSD”. There’s more but it’s all old hat, honestly.

He guesses this whole thing was just a huge waste of everyone’s time; this report says the exact same thing it did last time and he sorted himself out back then. Eventually.

He’s going to make a few phone calls and get this pesky ‘house arrest’ business taken care of.

-

House arrest is going to last for a while, apparently.

Approved activities include mandatory therapy sessions with a SHIELD approved psychotherapist and _zero_ rule breaking. _Fantastic_. And the cherry on top? He’s got to pass for functioning in order to make everything go back to normal. And he’s got to do it all sober.

God damn it.

\-  

He needs to stretch his legs and its nice outside, so Tony decides to go for a walk around the compound. He walks across Peter filming Clint doing tricks with his arrows. Tony rolls his eyes but smiles.

A moment later, an arrow flies right past his ear.

“ _Seriously_ , Clint?” he yells. “How long are you going to be mad at me?”

“Calm down, Stark. I’m over it. Mostly.” A pause. “I’d avoid Laura for the rest of your life, though. Just a heads up.”

“I’ll send her flowers,” Tony says. “She’ll come around.”

Peter is laughing at their exchange and Tony notices just how attractive he looks when he’s care free and holy hell where did that thought come from. Peter is, what… about Roger’s age now? Jesus. Tony stopped dating twenty somethings in his late thirties.

…Granted that was mostly just because he had started dating Pepper. But still. This is just… not a thought he wants to explore. For so, so many reasons.

 He pretends to get a call, waves in goodbye, and promptly turns around and heads straight back to his workshop.

-

He doesn’t get much sleep that night, but what else is new.

-

The next day Tony catches Peter in the hallway and invites him down to his garage. “I’ve been meaning to give you something for, well… It’s been a while.” He pauses and narrows his eyes. “You _do_ have your driver’s license now, right?”

Peter rolls his eyes. “Yes, why?”

Tony grins. “Just follow me.”

They enter his workshop, and Tony shows him the Spidey-Mobile.

Peter’s eyes double in size and he puts his hands up to his mouth. “Tony,” he whispers. “Tony, this is too much.” He’s shaking his head and takes a step back.

“Don’t make this awkward, Peter,” Tony jokes. “Come on, just take it.” He turns to his work bench and swats Dum-E’s claw away from his tools. “She’s a good car,” he says and clears his throat. “Kept me sane while you were gone.” He laughs. “Well, her and my old pals Jack and Jim.”

“And Stephen?” Peter asks softly.

“I guess.” Tony gives a small nod. “What about you, things going well with your friends?” He asks, then adds, “And I gotta ask- Thor? What is up with that?”

“What do you mean?” Peter asks.

“When did you and Point Break become such fast friends? You never met before... You know.”

Peter looks away and fidgets a bit.

“Ah. ‘Soul Stone Secrets’. I get it,” Tony says tightly.

Peter gives a small nod and doesn’t look up.

Tony sighs a bit but decides to drop it for now. “Let’s take her for a spin,” he says and hops in the passenger seat.

“Wait _I’m_ driving?” Peter almost squeaks.

“Well it’s not called the Iron Man-Mobile.” A pause. “What would Iron Man _do_ with a car, anyway?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be updating everyday/every other day again. :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: There is an OC in this part but she isn't important so please don't worry. :)

Peter enters Tony’s suite around noon the next day.

“What… What?” Peter says as he scans the room in confusion. There are about ten to fifteen graceful and well-dressed people gliding about, all working to showcase different articles of clothing, shoes, cuff links, belts, and anything else imaginable. In the midst of the beautiful chaos sits Tony, dressed in a dark grey vest and pants paired with a thin, navy knit tie and light blue cotton dress shirt. One ankle casually rests atop his knee, showing off his Spider-Man socks and dark grey leather shoes.  He grins at Peter, not even bothering to hide his delight at having rendered the younger man speechless.

 “I promised you a suit for your interview, remember, Pete?”

“I thought we were having lunch right now?” Peter asks, voice high. “With everyone else?” He’s pointedly looking at anything but Tony, eyes wide and ears burning, and Tony wonders how Peter manages to pull off being equally adorable and awkward.

“I guess I forgot to invite them,” Tony says with feigned innocence.

Peter hasn’t moved from his spot by the doorway.

Tony’s smile fades. “Peter.” He tilts his head and furrows his brows. “You alright?”

“Why are you doing this?” Peter blurts out.

 “Doing what?” Tony asks lightly.

“All of this,” Peter gestures around the room. “This is… It’s just too much, Tony. The upgraded suits. The car. The clothes. I don’t need your money!”

Tony shrugs. “I just want to help you.”

“You’re already helping me, though,” Peter counters.

“What’s the issue? You’re not the only Avenger I’ve financed,” Tony replies.

Peter is quiet for a moment, then nods his head. “Yeah… Okay. Sorry, I don’t know why I’m being so weird.”

At that Tony raises his brows. “I think I’m just a _bit_ used to you being weird by now.”

Peter blushes and Tony stares.

-

An hour later Peter has begrudgingly picked out three suits. The one he’s decided to wear to the interview is similar to the one Tony is wearing right now, which gives him a rather smug sense of satisfaction. Peter also chooses a dark blue one he feels looks very professional, and a berry colored suit Tony has “gently” talked him in to. Peter thinks its too loud, but Tony knows how to dress. Peter has the looks to pull it off and as soon as he tries it on, Tony decides he’s going to have to keep helping Peter build his wardrobe because _damn_ , can that man fill out a suit.

“Take a look at these,” Tony says as he shows Peter a few watches. “Why don’t you try this one on?” he suggests, voice low.

Peter, who doesn’t really care about fashion and had checked out over half an hour ago anyway, gives an absent-minded, “sure”.

“Every man needs a good time-piece,” Tony says because it seems like the sort of awkward thing to say when you’re invading someone else’s personal space. Peter doesn’t move until Tony finishes buckling the straps, but he can feel him tense up.

“Pete?”

 Peter blinks and takes a small step back. “I- I have to go,” he says.

-

“FRIDAY, where is Peter?” Tony asks.

“Mr. Parker is on the northern grounds.”

“Pull up a visual.”

A video of Peter sitting in a tree appears before him. Tony knows what a panic attack looks like and that- the shaking, the crying, the shallow breathing- _that’s_ a panic attack. Why in the world he’s decided to have one at the top of a fucking pine tree is beyond Tony. Must be a spider thing- he’s certain his ability is the only thing keeping him up there.

“FRIDAY, call Thor.” Stephen is ~~dead to him~~ useless since he refuses to help Tony but maybe Thor will tell him something.

“Yes, sir.” A pause. “Sir, I am having difficulty accessing-”

Tony groans. “Heimdall,” Tony shouts to the thin air. “I need to talk to Thor.”

He is met with silence and gives a sigh.

“It’s about Peter,” he adds.

A moment later, thunder rolls and he feels the ground shake. He looks around for the ridiculously built god, only to see him suddenly appear in the video of Peter he’s still viewing.

“ _What_?” Tony yells. “No, you were supposed to send him to _me_!” he seethes. “Thanks a lot, _Heimdall_! Asshole.”

He sits in a chair, arms folded over his chest, and glares at Thor as he helps him, wondering why the _fuck_ he didn’t just go after Peter himself.

-

Tony gets an alert that Peter’s interview had gone well and the entrepreneur isn’t the least bit surprised, although he _is_ ridiculously proud. He’s ordered lunch from a sandwich shop and two cherry pies from a bakery Pepper had recommended and has it all set up in his private dining room for them to celebrate.

He heads for the conference room to wait for the younger man. The interview had ended a few minutes ago but he didn’t want to seem… ‘over-bearing’ (Natasha’s words). He’s given Peter space since the ‘Wednesday Watch Incident’ (as he’s dubbed it) and is certain that they can try to talk again today. The night they’d driven around the compound had gone well. All Tony needs to do is… Not ask questions. Or talk about watches, apparently.

He looks up and sees Peter walking down the industrial staircase. The suit only serves to remind Tony how much older Peter is now and he catches himself staring again.  Peter grins and waves when he sees him and Tony’s stomach flips. He rises from his seat and grins back.

“Congrats, dude!” A woman’s voice calls from behind Tony. It’s Michelle. How… wonderful.

She dashes passed the seating area Tony has been waiting in and gives Peter a hug. All of a sudden, she seems to realize what she’s doing and lets go and backs up, opting to punch him in the arm instead.

Tony raises a brow; it would seem someone has a little crush. He can’t blame her though, Peter has definitely grown into himself. He smirks, suddenly looking forward to the next time she gets cheeky.       

“I’ve got lunch waiting for us,” Tony says. “Michelle, you are more than welcome to join us.”

“Oh, Mr. Stark,” Peter says, and Tony tries to not wince. _Mr. Stark_? “MJ and I sort of had plans today? She skipped class to come see me, so…”

Tony smiles tightly. “Of course,” he says, hoping he sounds gracious and put together. “I’ll see you around, Pete. Michelle.”

He turns to leave but changes his mind and stops. He grips the top of the leather couch, tapping his index finger against it for a moment.

“Actually, I need to speak with _Mr. Parker_ for a moment, Michelle. If you’ll excuse us.”

Tony grabs Peter’s upper right arm and puts his other hand to his back, quickly steering him out the closest door. They end up in a quiet sitting area with a small pond.

“I’m trying, kid,” Tony says. “I’m trying _really_ hard to understand your situation. But every time it feels like things are going to be alright you shut me out again. Fuck, sometimes it feels like you can’t stand to be _around_ me.” Tony’s pacing now and he runs his hand through his hair. “I lost Pep, Pete.”

He stops pacing and turns to look at the water. “I lost you, I lost Pep. Can’t stand the sight of Rogers on a good day, if we’re being honest.” He clears his throat. “And then you came back.” He chuckles but its lifeless. He turns back to face Peter. “You came back but you’re still gone.”

“Tony. I-”

“Fuck, Pete. _Please_. Just tell me what’s going on,” he begs.

Peter’s blinking rapidly, not meeting his eye. He’s chewing on the inside of his mouth, shoulders hunched in on himself. “I- I can’t tell you. I told you that. I’m trying to work through this and I’m s-sorry it’s taking so long-”

Tony places his hands on Peter’s upper arms. They are nearly eye to eye, but Tony is slightly taller, and much broader. Peter sucks in a breath and forgets to exhale.

“Why can’t you tell me, Pete?” Tony whispers, squeezing his arms. “You know you can trust me with anything. Anything, kid.”

Peter’s eyes well up again. “B-because you would hate me if I told you,” he says so quietly Tony almost doesn’t hear him, but by the time he processes what Peter has just said, he hears a _thwip._ And then he’s alone.

-

“Nat, what is going on with him?” Tony asks.

“Strange knows,” she says. “And I have a theory.”

“Care to fill me in?”

“Not particularly.”

“Are you _kidding_ me, Natasha-”

“Tony, if you want Peter to stay on the team, you’ve got to drop it. I know you mean well. But he’s got a lot of pressure on him right now. If you never work with the team again (at that Tony makes a face) you’ve still got Stark Industries. Peter is starting over. He needs this to work out for him. Don’t make this more difficult.”

“I’m not, I’m trying to help him and understand what the hell-”

She puts a hand on his arm. “Tony. If you want to help him, then leave it alone.”

-

Tony decides Natasha is right. For about five seconds. Then he comes to his senses and decides to hack into Stephen’s security system.

-

“Tony, what the hell are you doing?” It’s Stephen. Tony doesn’t look up from his computers. “Hacking your security.”

Stephen shakes his head. “No… You’re not,” he sighs.

“ _Yes_ … I am.”

Stephen sighs again and sits down. “That’s impossible,” he says slowly. “But sure, give it a go.”

“Ha!” Tony says and pulls up a recording of the morning Peter had gone to Dr. Strange’s home. Now he’ll find out what the hell is going on.

The video instantly disappears.

“Hey, give that back!” Tony snaps and whirls around. “I hacked that fair and square.”

“Is this how you think you’ll fix things with Peter?” Stephen snaps right back.

“I’m just trying to _help_ him, but he won’t let me in so-”

“Rogers thought he was helping you by keeping things from you,” Stephen tries to remind him gently. “But that’s not friendship. You’re not doing this for Peter. You’re doing this to make yourself feel better.”

“…”

…Tony fucking hates it when Stephen is right.

“Tony… Have you spoken with your therapist about this yet? This… fixation you have with Peter’s acceptance?”

Tony turns back to face his computer screen. “Yeah, sure.”

“… _Tony_ ,” Stephen’s voice deepens, “have you started _seeing_ your therapist?”

“Oh, of course,” he lies.

-

“Well, happy Monday to _me_ ,” Tony says as he enters the conference room.

At the head of the table stands a young woman, maybe mid-thirties, with short auburn hair and a well-fitting grey dress. This feels like 2010 all over again and he thinks he’s okay with that.

“It’s so nice of you to join us, Mr. Stark,” she says. “Please take a seat. We were just about to go over some tools we’ll be utilizing to enhance our performance levels.”

“I’m sorry, and you are?”

“Oh, pardon me. My name is Lisa Powell. Under the direction of the United Nations, SHIELD hired me to help your team work together more effectually.”

“So… Team building exercises, Ms. Powell?” he asks as he takes a seat on one of the red couches, by-passing the conference table completely. “I’m not sure we’re the ‘trust fall’ type,” he says. “Are we the trust-fall type, Rogers?”

Steve maintains a neutral expression and says nothing. Rhodey shoots him a warning glare.

“Well, that’s precisely why I’m here,” Powell says. “The better a team works together, the more effective they are in their collective, and individual, efforts.

“And, seeing as _your_ particular collective efforts involve protecting our planet from evil forces hell bent on _killing_ us all, I should think that team building exercises would be _right_ up your alley. Mr. Stark.”

Tony glances over at Peter who is looking down at his hands. He remembers Natasha’s words.

“ _Peter is starting over. He needs this to work out for him. Don’t make this more difficult.”_

With a roll of his eyes and a small huff, he gets up and sits down at the table between Bruce and Rhodey.

“Well,” he says sweetly, “when you put it that way.”

-

**Are you up?**

**Yeah Pete, what’s up?**

**I just needed to get this off my chest.**  
**I’m sorry for being a coward and not**  
**giving you any answers. But… I really**  
**appreciate everything you’ve done for**  
**me. For helping me get back up on my**  
**feet. For welcoming me back…**  
**Just… Thanks for everything.**

**Thanks.**

**You don’t have to thank me, Peter.**

**I wasn’t kidding when I said you can**  
**tell me anything. I’m here for you--**  
**Whatever it is, you CAN trust me.**

**I know, but I’m just not ready to talk  
about it yet. Is that okay?**

**Yeah kid… It’s ok.**

**I promise I’ll tell you soon.**

**Ok**

**And I’m sorry about lunch. I didn’t**  
**know you were gonna plan anything.**  
**Especially since I have been such a**  
**flake lately.**

**No worries, Pete. Honestly. I shouldn’t  
have presumed. I’m happy for you.**

**Thanks for everything, Tony.**  
**Seriously.**  
**Thank you.**

**No thanks needed, kid. Quit making me repeat myself!**

**Lol sorry. But you know I’m 26, right?**

**Oh, believe me. I know. #GlowedUp**

**Wow, Tony. On that note, I’m going to bed.**

**Night, Spidey.**

**Good night, Tony**

**-**

**-**

**I know you don’t want to talk about what**  
**happened, so we don’t have to. But whatever**  
**happened- I know it’s fucking with you, kid.**  
**I can tell.**  
**I know a thing or two about being fucked**  
**in the head, Peter. It’s not fun. But it doesn’t**  
**have to win. Don’t do what I did. Don’t**  
**suffer through it in silence, don’t**  
**ignore it. Okay? Promise me you’ll**  
**talk to someone about this. If you can’t**  
**talk to me. Talk to someone. MJ or Ned.**  
**Or Thor. Whatever. I don’t care. Just please**  
**don’t do the whole tough guy thing. I’ve**  
**been there, done that. It’s over rated.**

**I’m okay, Tony. I swear.**

**Well, Pete. I’ll see your bullshit and raise you a chance to try again.**

**I’m fine. You said you wouldn’t do this.**

**Fine. Sorry.**

**-**

**-**

**Did you ever get panic attacks?**

**Yeeep. All the time, after ’12.**

**Do you still get them?**

**Not as often… Peter, it’s 3 AM. Can’t sleep?**

**No.**

**Come to the workshop, Spiderling.**  
**Dum-E makes good(?) coffee and**  
**I could use a second set of eyes.**

**-**

**-**

**A little birdie told me you’ve never seen Deadpool 2.**

**Lol yep, haven’t gotten around to it yet**

**We’re rectifying that this evening.**

**You wanna watch a movie with me?**

**Is there an echo in here?**

**Kid?**

**Hello?**

**Peter.**

**Peter?**

**Sorry! My phone died.**  
**And sure, okay.**  
**See you.**  
**Like, tonight. Yeah.**  
**Bye.**

**-**

It’s Saturday morning and Tony is up after a rare full night of sleep. He’s in the kitchen eating some toast when Peter and Natasha walk in. It’s obvious they’ve been sparring from how flushed and sweaty they look.

Natasha goes straight for some water but Peter stalls at the entrance when he sees Tony.

“Hey,” Tony says after a moment, smiling softly.

Peter glances up at him and then quickly looks away. “Sup.” His cheeks are red, and the sweat makes his shirt cling to his chest and arms.

Tony blinks and looks away.

Sure, Peter’s attractive. It’s no surprise he’s noticed. (Several times now.) Only a blind man wouldn’t notice that ass and that _smile_ and- He clears his throat and tries to think about something, anything else.

He finally got Lisa's personal number; maybe he’ll text her and see how she’d like an evening out.

Or maybe just an evening in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What, you don't want Pete to be the rebound, do you?? Jk. Please don't hurt me. Also, no, MJ doesn't have a crush on Peter. I'm just going to go ahead and say that. 
> 
> Thank y'all so much for reading!!
> 
> NB: Next part we will be back to Peter's POV.  
> Edit: I lied. One more Tony chapter, first. Sorry. C:


	12. Chapter 12

Lisa is fun and flexible- in more than one way. And even better, she’s not looking for anything serious.

“See you Monday, Tony,” she says as she straightens her jacket. “And don’t be late this time. You might not agree, but the world doesn’t run on Tony Stark time. You should show your team mates more respect.”

“Jesus, don’t you have an off switch?” he groans. “Save the verbal lashing for office hours.”

She smirks and waves goodbye and leaves. And with that, Tony is left alone with his thoughts.

And it isn’t even midnight yet.

-

Tony spends the rest of the weekend in his workshop. Peter never texts him, which bothers him more than it should, but whatever. If Peter needs space again, that’s fine. He can do space.

So, he doesn’t send a single text all weekend. But he does take apart a few computers, rebuild an old engine, and work on upgrades for his newest armor. It had been great to have Peter help him the other night… Bruce is always nice to work with but he’s just not into engineering like Peter is. He can’t wait to have the young man on his R and D team.

He slams his head into the workbench. Can he think about anything other than Peter? Fuck.

Maybe he should take apart an entire jet, this time. Not just the engine.

He falls asleep in his workshop and is late to the Monday meeting.

-

“Mr. Stark, you’ll be working with Mr. Rogers. I’m sorry I can’t give you a very detailed explanation of the exercise but out of respect for everyone’s time, I can’t stall any longer. I’m sure you’ll catch on.”

Tony wants to say something smart but thinks better of it. The faster they appease the UN; the faster things can go back to normal.

Everyone is sitting and standing by the red couches. He smiles and sits down across from Rogers but doesn’t take off his sunglasses.

“Hungover?” Steve asks. His voice is friendly enough but there’s a tightness around the edges; someone’s feeling passive-aggressive today. Tony smirks at the thought and wonders who’s pissed him off. He wants to send them flowers, whoever it is.

“Nope. Nineteen days sober, thank you,” Tony says with a yawn and a stretch.

“Well, there’s one,” Steve says. “I admire your penchant for self-discipline and _restraint_.”

Tony smiles slow and wide, but it doesn’t meet his eyes. “Aww, the compliment game. I’ll go next,” he says. “I admire your unyielding loyalty and solid moral code.” Tony raises his chin.

“And I wish I had your ability to see the bigger picture.”

“Funny, I was going to say the same thing,” Tony says, voice clipped.

“I don’t think they’re doing this right,” Clint stage whispers.

“No, I like their version better,” says Sam. Tony rolls his eyes; Sam is probably cheering for Rogers in his head.

“Let’s keep it civil,” Powell reminds, making notes on her tablet. “Switch partners.”

Tony thinks about trying to catch Bruce’s eye, but he sees Peter staring at him from the corner of the room. He lowers his shades and tilts his head, beckoning him over.

Peter looks away but shuffles over eventually. He’s wearing the blue suit today but he’s taken the jacket off and has rolled up his sleeves, showing off strong forearms.

Tony pats the spot next to him. “Take a seat and tell me I’m pretty,” he jokes.

Peter rolls his eyes but laughs a bit. “Well, I guess it’s safe to say I like your sense of humor.”

“Hey, if I only get three compliments I want good ones,” Tony says, mouth twisted in a frown. “I demand a do-over, compliment genie.”

Peter laughs again. “But it’s true! You’re so quick with your comebacks. Seriously. If being a genius billionaire philanthropist playboy doesn’t work out for you try stand up.”  

Tony snorts but a genuine smile slips out.

“It’s, uh, it’s your turn,” Peter says quietly.

“What can I say, Pete?” Tony sighs. “I like everything about you. We’ll be here all day if I get started.”

Peter turns bright red and Tony wonders if he ever gets this flustered when anyone else flirts with him. He hopes not.

-

-

 **You never give up.**  
**You see the best in everyone, even when they don’t deserve it.**  
**You’re selfless to a fault.**

**What?**

**If I had to pick three things.**

-

-

“Tony… Tony, you know you’ve actually got to, well, _go_ to the appointment? You can’t just make it and then not show up,” Bruce explains quietly.

Tony doesn’t look up from his workbench. “Dum-E, hand me- _thank_ you. Wow. That’s a first.”

“Tony.”

“Okay, let’s try this baby out!” He puts the band on his wrist and activates it. Nothing happens.

“Look… I just came by because Natasha told me how serious this is. If you don’t go, the UN is going to say you’re unfit to be an Avenger. And then SHIELD will-”

Bruce has to duck as the band goes flying off Tony’s arm, lands on U, and promptly bursts into flames.

“Shit, shit, _shit_ , Dum-E, get the fire extinguisher. No, not the _blender_. I swear, I’m scrapping you.”

Bruce looks around, baffled. “I’m just… I’m just gonna go.”

“No, no, stay!” Tony says. “I’m listening!”

Bruce closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Tony, you need help. You need to see a therapist. When’s the last time you left your workshop for more than a few hours?”

Tony shrugs and gestures vaguely with his hands.

“You can’t be Iron Man if you don't take care of yourself,” Bruce reminds him gently.

-

“Pete?” Tony knocks at his door. It wasn’t shut though, and it opens from the force of his hand.

Peter and Ned turn around to look at him. Peter’s sitting at his desk, and Ned is adjusting a… lighting kit?

Tony raises a brow. “Is this a bad time, or…?”

“No, it’s okay!” Peter says and stands up so quickly he hits his knee. “What -ow- what’s up?”

“I just wanted to see if you wanted to get some dinner, maybe help me in the workshop a bit?” Tony turns to look at Ned and tell him he’s more than welcome to come as well, but the photo on Peter’s desk catches his eye.

It’s the same framed picture he’d seen in May’s apartment, when Peter had still been missing. Tony isn’t sure why, but seeing it again makes his heart ache a bit. He looks away and something else catches his eye- at the bottom of Peter’s cork board is a small photo of him from some magazine. Peter had taken the time to cut it out and … keep it. On display.

He clears his throat and tries to recover. “Ned? You game?” he asks.

Ned nods vigorously but Peter shakes his head no, shifting so that the photos are hidden behind him.

“Sorry, Tony, but we’ve got to finish this,” he says in a rush.

“Shooting a porno at the compound?” Tony grins. “Don’t tell Rogers.”

Peter blushes. “It’s just a vlog!”

Tony laughs. “Whatever you say, Spider-Boy.” He waves goodbye and tries to speed-walk to his suite as casually as possible, his thoughts running a mile a minute.

-

“Hey, you.” It’s Lisa, and apparently, she’s been waiting for him in the common area. Why didn’t FRIDAY say anything?

Tony pauses on his way to his shop and looks around the room and then back to her, brows furrowed. “Did we have plans?” he asks.

She pours herself a glass of wine and saunters over to him. “No, I was just in the neighborhood.”

Tony tries to think of a tactful way to tell her he doesn’t think they should do this again but she’s already kissing him. And from the reflection in the window, Tony can see the moment Peter walks in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said the next part would be from Peter's POV but as I was working through his section I realized this needed to be posted first. So, Peter's POV is coming next. I promise! Lol.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more OC. But again, she's not important. :)

“Can you look at the camera?”

“Why did I agree to this.”

“It’s just to help me get everything right! You don’t have to share anything deep. I really appreciate your help, Dr. Strange.”

“You’re not uploading this to your channel? Because I’ll know. Don’t think I won’t know.”

“I promise. You can even make up something. I don’t mind. Just need to get the lighting right in here and Ned’s busy, so-.”

“Fine. It’s fine.”

“Okay, so… look at the camera? Okay. Great. Could you state your name, tell us a little bit about yourself?”

“…My name is Dr. Stephen Strange.”

“…Anything you want to add to that?”

“No.”

“Alright… Moving along… What do you think you learned about yourself while you were in the Soul World?”

“Oh my god, this is painful. Ask me something a little less on the nose, would you?”

“You are impossible and I’m regretting this so much now.”

“Makes two of us.”

“Just… Just talk. About anything. I don’t care at this point.”

“…”

“…”

“…Oh my god your _cloak_ would probably have more to say!”

“Can he do this then?”

-

Peter sits in his bed, editing the footage of last night’s encounter.

_“For the record, I didn’t know that would happen when I tightened my webbing.”_

_Iron Man holds up a hand. “It’s fine. I’ve been covered in worse.” A pause. “I mean, I’ve been covered in better, that’s for damn sure. But. I’ll survive.”_

Peter cracks up and plays it again and again and again until he’s got to admit to himself that he’s not working, and YouTube _isn’t_ going to pay him if he doesn’t have anything to upload, but he can’t help himself. When he watches this fifteen second exchange everything’s alright; it’s just another day of Iron Man and Spider-Man bantering and kicking ass. And then afterwards they’ll have a debriefing, and one of the two of them will make a joke about debriefing the other, and then they’ll go home.

This is the part where reality sets back in if he doesn’t replay the clip fast enough.

Because home used to be Stark Tower. Now it’s back at May’s. A place he hasn’t lived in years.

_“Thanks for helping,” Peter says._

_“Anytime,” Tony replies. “I mean it.”_

Peter lies down and stares at the screen and plays it again. He can’t see Iron Man’s face as he had the droid programmed to focus on him while recording. He’ll have to fix that; it would be nice to get a better angle of Tony next time.

He shuts the lid of his laptop and rubs at his eyes with the heels of his palms. What the _hell_ is he doing? The _next_ time? There shouldn’t have even been a first time! He should have _never_ given Tony his number or text him. What is wrong with him? They can’t be _friends._ Peter is such an idiot. He needs to focus on getting his shit together, not focus on something that never even happened. Still-

_“Anytime. I mean it.”_

 Peter groans and climbs up to the ceiling to try to think about something, anything else. Why does Tony have to be so good to him?

He looks down a bit and sees the framed photograph of Tony and himself. He couldn’t grow a beard when it had been taken. Now he can’t go more than a day without a shave. He rubs at his stubble and narrows his eyes, thinking about all the times Tony has called him ‘kid’ recently. He probably stills sees Peter that way, no matter how different he looks now.

Peter turns his glare back to the photo and shoots a bit of webbing at it, knocking it over.

He can’t fucking do this.

-

**Peter-**

**Need the newest footage! Did you talk to Mr. Stark about using the shots with him in them? And are you _sure_ we can’t show the actual battle? When can we stop with the trick videos and show some ACTION? Oh! And MJ said that her friend Rochelle Moss is interested in a collaboration. I’ve checked out her channel; we should do it. I’ll text you her contact info and the link to her channel.**

**-Ned**

**PS: Seriously. Footage. NOW.**

-

Peter comes home and finds Natasha and May chatting over tea at the kitchen table.

“Uh, what’s up, guys?” he asks.

May smiles at him. “Natasha just came by to check on you!” She stands up and grabs her purse. “I’m going to run to the store. Want to stay for dinner, Nat?”

Natasha smiles at her. “I’d love to.”

May squeezes Peter’s shoulder as she passes by him and then turns back around and grabs him in a big hug. She presses her face into his shirt and takes a deep breath, just holding him, as if to remind herself that he is still here. Peter thought after a while she’d stop, but so far there’s no end in sight. Sometimes it makes him uncomfortable; he doesn’t like to be reminded of what happened. But sometimes it makes his heart ache, thinking about how she must have felt for those months.

He wraps his arms around her and when she steps away she gives him a watery smile and pokes his cheeks. “I’ll be back soon. Be safe.”

He turns back to the table and- “ _JESUS_ how do you do that!?” he screams and jumps up to the ceiling because Natasha is suddenly right in front of him instead of at the table and _how did he not sense that_.

“Get down, Peter.” Oh, no. The Serious Voice. He gulps but complies.

She takes a moment to just stare at him and Peter takes a step back, wondering if she’s about to turn into a Dementor and eat his soul.

“Don’t ever go out as Spider-Man again without the proper clearance,” she says calmly. “Is that understood?”

Peter nods. “Yes, ma’am.”

She mirrors his nod and relaxes a bit. “Peter, I know this is a lot to ask of you right now, I know you’re going through your own storm but… We really need you. I don’t know if the team is going to make it much longer if we don’t get our act together. Tony refuses to work things out with Steve and it’s got everyone on edge. We can’t work like this. I know you need time but… I need your help with Tony. He won’t listen to any of us and he’s just going to keep dragging himself down at this rate- and all of us with him.”

Peter frowns, confused. “You need me?”

“Steve is going to come by and ask you to sign the Accords tomorrow. The government caught wind that Spider-Man is back in action. Not too difficult when you keep uploading videos of yourself to the internet.”

“They’re just shots of me doing tricks, I’m not breaking the law!”

“Just stop,” Natasha says with a sigh. “I know you only post parkour tricks on you channel, but you aren’t the only one with a camera. The Secretary of State has footage of you and Iron Man.”

Peter looks down, embarrassed. He shivers, suddenly uncomfortable.

“I need you to sign the Accords,” she continues. “We’re falling apart, Parker. I need you on the team. If the UN decides we’re an unstable threat, we won’t be able to operate legally anymore.”

“I’m not ready,” Peter mumbles faintly.

“No offense, but if you’re ready to be out exacting vigilante justice behind my back- you’re ready.” A pause. This time, her voice is a bit softer when she speaks. “Tony’s a mess. Whatever you’re dealing with… Your joining might help him. Just don’t jerk him around, all right?”

That’s exactly the problem, though; he doesn’t know what to do. And the idea of seeing Tony everyday again is making it impossible to breathe. But if it’s for the best, then-

“Okay, sure,” he manages to say.

-

His Spidey Senses always give him enough time to head somewhere private before he completely loses his composure. So. There’s that, at least.

-

“Um. Hi.”

“Hello, Peter. Can I come in?”

“S-sure… Can I- um, can I get you anything?”

“No, thank you. I’m just here to talk to you about-”

“The Accords. And Iron Man. Yeah, Natasha came by yesterday.”

“Well, then. I guess I can get right to the point. Have you decided what you’ll do?”

“If I… If I sign… Is there a catch?”

“…You’ll need to submit to a psych eval. And move back to the compound.”

“So, they think I’m crazy? And why do I have to _live_ there?!”

“It’s just standard procedure. And we’re a team, Peter. We need to train together.”

“…I don’t-- I mean… I… I’ll sign it.”

-

Tony wants a burger, so they go to McDonald’s and sit upstairs, looking out the window. Peter eats some chicken nuggets and has a coke. Tony gets a shake and a burger with fries. And halfway through their meal, he offers Peter a position on his research and development team. He talks Tony down to having him apply for the position, but still…

“Tony… I can’t just… Why are you doing this? You really don’t owe me anything. I promise.”

“I know I don’t,” he says with an easy shrug. “But you’re my friend and I want to, and I can. So.” He sits back on his stool and grins. He’s wearing orange tinted shades and a black hoodie and dammit he’s so _handsome_.

Peter blinks and looks away. “You shouldn’t-”

Tony leans forward and rests his arms on the booth, still grinning. “Thank you.”

“What?” Peter squeaks.

“The words you’re looking for are ‘thank you’,” Tony says with a chuckle. “You’re welcome.”

“Tony-” Peter is silenced with a fry to his lips.

“ _Shh_. You’re welcome.”

The more time Peter spends with _this_ Tony… the more he’s reminded of _his_ Tony. He’s pushy. Full of himself. Anxious. He’s hilarious. Intuitive... Warm.

Peter suddenly wonders if what Thor said could actually be true- that the Soul Stone can show you your destiny. But then he remembers that the Soul Stone is actually just a sentient self-contained _douchebag_ of a universe and in the real world, Peter doesn’t get to have nice things.

In the real world, Pepper Potts does.  

-

Peter meets Rochelle at a coffee shop in Midtown on a Wednesday morning. She’s a senior engineer major at MJ’s college, and runs her own YouTube channel showcasing her inventions. She also interviews other young inventors and has got quite a following in the science and tech community.

Peter’s channel is mostly action shots of Spider-Man. He wishes he could show off his own creations, but he’d like to keep some semblance of privacy. He may have had to disclose his identity to the UN, but the rest of the world just thinks that Peter Parker is lucky enough to have Spider-Man’s permission to film him. It would be suspicious if Peter Parker started showing off things that Spider-Man would then use…

Lately though, he’s been uploading something completely different. After his practice run with Stephen (if you can even call it that), Peter filmed two other people’s stories. Those videos gained popularity and others began to reach out, wanting to share what happened to them, as well. That’s how Rochelle had heard about him.

“Are you ever going to share your experience?” she asks with a small smile. “I feel like we spent this whole time talking about me. What happened to you in the Soul World, Peter?”

Peter shrugs. “I don’t really, um- It’s not that interesting.”

“I don’t believe that for a second. But it’s okay if you aren’t ready to share.”

At that, Peter smiles. “Thanks.”

-

“Do you think he’s going to talk about anything other than Mr. Stark anytime soon?” MJ asks, glaring at Peter. Ned has a similar expression. “I hope so. Mr. Stark is cool and all, but like… Even _I_ don’t care about… Okay I’m sorry, I can’t even lie. I tuned out like ten minutes ago.” A pause. “I’m sorry, Peter.”

“I’m not,” MJ groans. “God, just suck his dick already so we can all move on!”

Peter turns bright red and throws an accent pillow at her. “What the hell, MJ?!”

“Well give me a break, Peter! You’re all 'Oh, Tony took me to a fancy restaurant with seventy courses and a live violinist,’” MJ says in a high, nasally voice, mocking Peter. “’And then we stared deeply into each other’s eyes while we talked about antimatter and vibranium!’”

“I didn’t- It was _McDonalds…_ ” Peter’s voice trails off and he stares at her.

“What?” she asks.

“That’s… You said that before.”

“I’m not following,” MJ says, raising a brow.

“In the Soul World. You said that,” he looks up and blinks rapidly, laughing. “What- what the _fuck_.” He swipes at his eyes.

MJ and Ned exchange worried looks.

“Peter?” Ned asks quietly.

“Oh, screw it. This is driving me insane. And Dr. Strange already knows anyway.” He sniffles and tries to compose himself. “I feel like I’m going crazy but, I swear- that’s exactly what you said to me once when I- when I was telling you about Tony.”

“In the Soul World?”

Peter nods and takes a sip from his water bottle.

“Well that’s creepy,” MJ says, straight-faced. “You and Stark were totally Soul World boning, weren’t you?”

He chokes on his drink and blushes.

“So, that’s a yes.”

“Definitely a yes,” Ned agrees.

-

-

Peter gets a text from Ned:

**Um… Have you seen this?  
Clink here**

-

**Drunk Tony Stark escorted out of Sky Tower**

_Tony Stark aka Iron Man, a long-standing member of The Avengers, was spotted at SkyCity Auckland making a scene last night. According to our sources, Stark was heard telling security, “I own this building, you can’t tell me what to do” before passing out._

_He was later seen being escorted out of the building by security._

_Stark has recently ended things with long time girlfriend Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries. Potts has also reportedly been seen with a new beau, although his identity is as of yet unknown. There has been much speculation if this recent rash behavior is a result of the split._

_The United States Secretary of State had this to say in a tweet: “Irregardless of what may be happening behind closed doors, there is NO EXCUSE to breach The Accords. Stark will answer for this. Shameful.”_

-

 **Peter Parker** @PeterBParker18

Replying to @SecRoss  
“It’s regardless. You idiot.”

-

Peter refreshes his feed but the tweet still isn’t showing up. He’s about to retype it when Stephen appears before him and snatches his phone out of his hands.

“What the hell are you-”

“Post another tweet like that and this,” he holds up the phone, “is _mine._ ”

“You can’t just-”

“Peter. You are a public figure now. You can’t keep picking fights with everyone who offends Tony.”

“The public doesn’t know _I’m_ Spider-Man,” he mumbles.

“But Ross does,” Stephen points out. “You want to give him a reason to out you?”

Peter hunches his shoulders and looks down. “No…”

“Then just… _call_ Tony or something. You know. What _normal_ people do. I swear. You two…” he grumbles and throws the phone at him and leaves.

-

They’ve been on the phone for a while and they’ve lapsed into a comfortable silence.

Suddenly, Tony says, “Ross, Maria, Nick.”

Peter is in the middle of brushing his teeth and stops, turning his head a bit. “Huh?”

“Fuck, marry, kill,” Tony says. “Come on, Pete. Keep up.”

Peter spits out the toothpaste and tries to not choke from laughing.

“Kill Ross for sure,” Peter says. Then, “Hmm… Nick kinda scares me so, fuck Nick, marry Maria.”

“Hmm. Interesting,” Tony says.

“What? I couldn’t marry Nick. He’s always so… intense. About everything.” He changes his voice to try to imitate the director, “Can you pass me the mother fuckin’ salt and pepper, honey?”

Tony laughs. “You’re giving this a really weird amount of thought- I like it. Your turn.”

Peter thinks for a moment. “Stephen, Sam, hmm… Darcy!”

“You know Darcy?” Tony asks.

“Um,” Peter scratches at his nose. “Yes and no.” He’s been trying to not bring up anything about the Soul Stone to avoid awkward situations like this, but sometimes he just forgets how he knows everything that he knows. He hopes that Tony will just let it go.

“So mysterious, Mr. Parker,” is all he says. “I’d have to go with… Fuck Stephen, marry Darcy, kill Sam.”

“Stephen, huh?” Peter jokes.

“Oh, for sure. I mean, he’s way too full of himself, but Stephen could get it.”

“So, you like guys?” Peter blurts out and oh my god. Who _asks_ people that?!

“I like what I like,” is Tony’s reply. “T’Challa, Steve, or Loki.”

Peter files _that_ comment away to over examine at a later date.

“I don’t know Loki, but I feel like this is a trap so… Fuck Loki, marry T’Challa, kill Steve?”

“Good boy.”

Peter’s stomach flutters at the off handed comment and he swallows thickly.

“So- um,” he clears his throat. “Natasha, um, Dum-E, or… Thor?”

“Marry Dum-E,” Tony says a bit _too_ quickly. “Fuck Natasha. Kill Thor.”

“Poor Thor,” Peter laughs. He swears he can feel Tony eye roll over the phone. “Your turn.”

“Bruce, Coulson, Steve.”

“I don’t really know Coulson, either… And why do you keep including Steve?”

“Honestly, I just wanted to keep hearing you say, ‘kill Steve’,” Tony admits.

Peter closes his eyes and laughs a bit. “This is unhealthy, and I should probably not encourage it,” he says mostly to himself. “But whatever. Fuck Coulson, marry Bruce, kill Steve.”

“This is why you’re my favorite,” Tony sighs happily. “One more round?”

“Sure,” Peter says and flops down on his bed, absentmindedly trailing a hand up and down his stomach under his hoodie.

“Let’s see,” Tony says. “Scott, Clint, or… me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter's POV is being split into 2 parts as it was getting to be a bit long. Also, I just wanted to point out that this was originally supposed to be a 10k one shot. I had a specific scene in mind that I reallyyy wanted to write... and now we're at 26k words and Tony is still kissing the wrong person and I STILL don't know when "the scene" will get to happen. Buh. What am I doing, y'all. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: About Thor- I have way too many feelings about my bb Thor than can/would fit into this story so I just wanted to talk about him for a moment. Thor has been through some SHIT. Like, okay, in this story, so has Peter, but think about it- yes, Peter lost nearly a decade of his life living a lie, but in reality, he only lost 9 months of time. While it’s a huge deal, and not something anyone would be able to get over without a lot of support and drive, it is not the same as losing your family, your entire world, the vast majority of your people and therefore history/culture/everything. Peter is detached and depressed and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone but Thor is a refugee on a foreign world; he is king, and finally mature enough to take that responsibility seriously, I think, but his kingdom consists of a handful of victims of war trying to integrate into a strange new world. And yet- he is still taking the time to help Peter. I know it’s just a plot device that I’m using, but I really do think that, if someone were going through an identity crisis like Peter is, Thor would help them. Because when he was at his lowest, when he had lost everything and had no idea who he was anymore, someone helped him. Rocket saw himself in Thor and offered friendship to a broken and lost man. He gave Thor an eye, sure, but he really gave Thor much more than that. I’m going to shut up now because the fic will get into the rest, but I wanted to give a little more context to that scene. (And on a side-note: I know Loki is in the next film so he didn’t actually die-die, but I’m pretty sure Heimdall might have. Still, I’m hoping he pulled a Coulson or something and really survived. My theory is- Loki. Duh, haha. He’s such a bad-good-bad guy, haha.) Aaanyway, thanks for reading this.
> 
> TLDR; Author gets on her soapbox to convince you why Thor helping Peter makes sense but really she just wants to talk about her Thor feels.

“One more round?”

“Sure,” Peter says and flops down on his bed, absentmindedly trailing a hand up and down his stomach under his hoodie.

“Let’s see,” Tony says. “Scott, Clint, or… me?”

Peter has no idea what to say to that. “Um.”

Tony laughs. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Don’t faint.”

“Oh, ha-ha,” Peter says and sits up. “Just for that? Fuck Steve, marry Clint, and kill _you_.”

“But Steve wasn’t even an _option_!” Tony cries. “You’re killing me. You are figuratively and, well, figuratively _killing_ me right now. Wow.”

“Please stop,” Peter snorts. Why is Tony such a drama queen all the time?

“You know you love me.”

Peter’s heart tries to climb up his neck, momentarily constricting his throat.

“Hey, Pete?” Tony asks, voice suddenly softer.

“Yeah?” he chokes out after several failed attempts to swallow.

“Thanks again for calling me.”

“Any… anytime, Tony,” he breathes. Or at least he tries to.

-

Peter is at May’s house, getting a few more things from his room. She’s gone out- said she has an appointment. But Peter is pretty sure she just doesn’t want to watch him take the rest of his things to the compound.

He sets a box full of things to take on the kitchen counter. He notices the recycling sitting by the door; on top sits a magazine that’s a few months old and Tony and a few other Avengers are on the cover. He picks it up and flips to the cover story. It’s about the aftermath of Thanos and most of the article is clipped away. May had meticulously cut out what she wanted and had tossed the rest. No wonder the photo of Tony is still there. It’s small and must have been taken at a press conference- he’s well dressed and stands behind a podium.

“We won’t rest until everyone- everyone- is returned,” Stark promised at last week’s press conference,” reads the caption.

He runs a finger over the photo. The more he looks at it, the more he notices just how worn-down the older man looks. “I’m so sorry, Tony,” he whispers.

Peter carefully tears the page out and puts it with the rest of the things he’ll be taking home with him.

-

Tony is back but Peter isn’t sure what to say to him.

Their last conversation has left him shaken and confused. He is trying to be okay with the idea of just being friends with Tony. So why does he have to torture him like this with his thoughtfulness and his stupid fucking _flirting_?

Oh. _OH_.

And the fact that Tony and Ms. Potts really _have_ broken up.

He shakes his head, trying to keep his mind from going there. They may have broken up, but they’ve broken up before. And even if Tony _had_ been flirting with Peter, Tony flirts with everything. Plus, the other man is very obviously going through a crisis right now, if the incident at the casino is any indication.  

The last thing Tony needs is a relationship right now. Not that he thinks Tony wants to date him or anything, anyway. Ugh. He should just forget about it.

- 

Peter lies in bed, clutching a set of car keys to his chest and willing his heart to calm down. He’s not going to read into this. He refuses.

_“She’s a good car. Kept me sane while you were gone.”_

Peter rolls over and wonders how he’s going to make it through lunch with the entire team tomorrow. Maybe he won’t even go… He’s got to get away from Tony before he goes crazy.

“Oh, who am I kidding,” he groans, rolls back over, and stares up at the ceiling.

Peter’s pretty sure he’s got a crush on the _real_ Tony Stark now.

“Fuck.”

-

“Every man needs a good time-piece,” Tony says as he fastens a watch to Peter’s wrist. Peter looks down and sees the very same watch he had received from Tony in the Soul Stone. But it’s sitting in the top of his closet- how does Tony have it? Why is Tony giving it to him again? He already gave it to him in Milan. He blinks and looks around. This… They aren’t in Milan. This isn’t even Stark Tower. Where… What is going on?

Conflicting thoughts and memories suddenly demand Peter’s attention and he thinks he might throw up.

Peter blinks and takes a small step back. “I- I have to go,” he says.

-

He finally makes it to the forest and crouches on the side of the tree, feet and hands pressed firmly into the bark. It’s not the same as a rooftop, but he doesn’t feel like being spied on while he falls apart, and he’s started to appreciate the silence.

He tries to focus.

Inhale.

Exhale.

He can hear some sort of insect buzzing. There isn’t much of a breeze today, but at least the sun isn’t too hot.

Inhale.

Exhale.

_“Every man needs a good time-piece.”_

Peter chokes out a sob and grips at the tree even harder, feeling the bark under all ten fingers and toes.

Suddenly, the wind blows, and he hears thunder nearby. He tries desperately to take a steady, deep breath.

“Peter!” Thor bellows from the ground.

Peter glances down at Thor but doesn’t move. Thor seems to notice what’s wrong, and a moment later he’s seated on a branch facing him.

“Are you well?” Thor asks, voice low.

Peter nods, but the gasping and trembling say otherwise.

Thor scoots closer and steadies his breathing. Peter latches on to the rhythm of his breath like an anchor and attempts to follow it. After a few moments, he’s finally able to calm down. “Thanks,” he says after a few minutes of silence.

Thor smiles and nods.

“Does that… ever happen to you?” Peter asks quietly.

Thor looks away. “Sometimes,” he admits.

“I feel like I’m going crazy,” Peter says, voice still a bit shaky.

“I assure you, you are not,” Thor replies. “It’s normal to feel… overwhelmed when you have lost so much.”

“No, no I really think I’m losing it,” Peter whispers, staring off at the trees. “I just- I keep having déjà vu. And just now… I just- I forgot where I was? I don’t know what’s going on.” Peter has to stop talking and remember how to breathe again. He closes his eyes and focuses on the feel of the bark until his heart beat finally calms down again. “It felt like I was back in the Soul World for a moment,” he says, voice small. “Tony said the exact same thing to me, in there. Word for word. I _know_ he’s said it before because there’s no way I’d ever forget something like that and-”

Thor laughs. “You aren’t crazy, my friend, you are in love.”

That strikes a nerve with Peter; he’s so sick of everyone just seeing right through him and feeling angry is less frightening than feeling this out of control. “What the _hell_ , Thor? You can’t just- what the hell!?” Peter’s voice fluctuates between angry and hysterical.

“If things that happened _there_ are happening _here_ , then how can you be crazy?” Thor asks. “I told you, the stone has the ability to show you your destiny.”

“My _destiny_?” Peter snaps. “What am I, a Disney princess? * I didn’t spend the past fucking 8 years just _mooning_ over him.”

No… He’d just spent the past eight years becoming an Avenger. Helping others. Finding his passion. Getting his degree. Working at a job he loved.

...And somewhere along the way, Tony had happened, too.

Thor considers Peter for a moment, thinking.

“A friend once gave me a gift,” he suddenly declares, seemingly out of nowhere. “He gave me this,” he says, lightly touching just under his right eye, smiling a bit. “But he also gave me the gift of perspective… So, let me tell you something, my friend.

You think you’ve lost it all, but you haven’t. Whatever is stopping you- whatever you _think_ is holding you back- _that’s_ the real illusion. Not what happened in the Stone. A man reads his own book of life, at same time that he writes and revises it.”

“Ok, first of all, when did you become Gandalf, and second of all, it’s not that-”

“Tony called for me, Peter,” Thor cuts him off. He smiles softly. “Heimdall told me that Tony knew you were in distress and asked for me to help you. This is not as one-sided as you fear.”

-

Peter wants Thor to be right, but- It’s been two days and Tony hasn’t reached out to him. Not that Peter has, either, but still.

He looks at himself in the mirror and straightens his tie. He’s wearing the dark grey suit Tony had helped him pick out. It’s similar to the one the older man had been wearing and he hopes it makes him look half as professional and commanding as Tony looked.

He presses an index finger between his brows, trying to work out a bit of tension. Can he _please_ stop thinking about Tony for two seconds?

-

Tony grabs Peter’s upper right arm and puts his other hand to his back, quickly steering him out the closest door. They end up in a quiet sitting area with a small pond.

“I’m trying, kid,” Tony says. “I’m trying _really_ hard to understand your situation. But every time it feels like things are going to be alright you shut me out again. Fuck, sometimes it feels like you can’t stand to be _around_ me.” Tony’s pacing now and he runs his hand through his hair. “I lost Pep, Pete.”

He stops pacing and turns to look at the water. “I lost you, I lost Pep. Can’t stand the sight of Rogers on a good day, if we’re being honest.” He clears his throat. “And then you came back.” He chuckles but its lifeless. He turns back to face Peter. “You came back but you’re still gone.”

“Tony. I-”

“Fuck, Pete. _Please_. Just tell me what’s going on,” he begs.

Peter’s blinking rapidly, not meeting his eye. He’s chewing on the inside of his mouth, shoulders hunched in on himself. “I- I can’t tell you. I told you that. I’m trying to work through this and I’m s-sorry it’s taking so long-”

Tony places his hands-on Peter’s upper arms. Peter thinks his heart might explode. They are nearly eye to eye, but Tony is slightly taller, and so much broader. Peter sucks in a breath and forgets to exhale. He has to fight the urge to touch him back.

“Why can’t you tell me, Pete?” Tony whispers, squeezing his arms. “You know you can trust me with anything. _Anything_ , kid.”

And there it is- _kid_. He knew Tony still saw him that way, and that’s why he’s never said anything. A small part of him is relieved, because at least he can save face. But mostly…  mostly he just feels sick.

Peter’s eyes well up again. “B-because you would hate me if I told you,” he says and leaves.

-

**I’m sorry MJ, can we meet up tonight? I’m really sorry.**

**Sure thing, Pete. I’ll just go draw some of**  
**Tony’s top-secret stuff.**  
***thumbs up emoji***

**You ok, though?**

**No. But I will be.**

**Ily dude. Call me asap.**

-

“I need help.”

“I agree. Let’s start with boundaries- you have none and you need to work on that.”

“Dr. Strange, _please_ , I just have a few more questions about the stone.”

“…You get five minutes. I have a _life,_ you know? Outside of the two of you.”

“What?”

“You. Tony.”

“…What?”

“Just ask the question, Peter.”

“I know the Soul World isn’t real but… Do you think, maybe, there could still be some truth to it?”

“…”

“…Dr. Strange?”

“I don’t know, Peter. I’ll let you know when I find out.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m going to propose to Christine. Tonight. No point in wasting away wondering.”

“Oh- oh _wow_. Congrats, man!”

“Don’t congratulate me, yet. And don’t tell anyone, either.”

“Yeah, sure, yeah- of course. Sorry to bother you!”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Okay, congra- I mean, sorry. Have a g-”

-

Tony flirts with the advisor from SHIELD, but Tony flirts with everyone and he hardly spares Lisa Powell more than one glance. He catches Tony staring at him a few times, though.

Maybe Thor and Stephen are right.

Maybe he should just take a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *No Peter, Tony is the Disney princess. Duh.
> 
> “A person practicing svadhyaya (self study) reads his own book of life, at same time that he writes and revises it.” The real quote by the late B K S Iyengar, one of the foremost yoga teachers in the world. I highly recommend his books "Light on Yoga" and "Light on Life". Anyway, that quote means people who practice self study are always seeking knowledge/self improvement. Thor is telling Peter to learn from what he's going through, utilize it, and to stop with the self-defeating behavior.
> 
> Also, I just wanted to say- if anyone is struggling with depression/anxiety- don't tough it out alone, please. Talk with a friend. Find a therapist who you trust. Try yoga. (Seriously!!) In this fic Peter does a lot of grounding (well, his type of grounding, haha) but that's a good way to help manage anxiety. (You should go outside and take you shoes off, not climb a tree, though- we aren't all Spiderlings, haha.)
> 
> NB: Sorry to break Peter's POV up again but the scenes where they hangout are long. The next part will be the last Peter POV for a bit and will cover the last half of chapter 11 through chapter 12.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took longer than usual, I meant to have it up yesterday but parts of this were hard to get out. Also, for funsies, here's a link to a recipe for Aunt May's wheatcakes that are mentioned in the fic. :) http://teddyandtheyeti.blogspot.com/2010/02/spider-mans-wheatcakes-recipe.html wheatcake recipe

That night, Peter texts Tony. He calls him “kid” again, but instead of pouting and backing down like he wants to, Peter steels his nerves and hopes for the best.

**Lol sorry. But you know I’m 26, right?**

**Oh, believe me. I know. #GlowedUp**

Peter has to sit down and read the text again. Is Tony just being Tony, or does this mean something? If he had _actual_ dating experience, maybe this wouldn’t be so difficult. But, as it stands, Peter’s only frame of reference is his own damn imagination. Still, every time he reads the message it sends a shiver down his spine, warmth and desire pooling in his stomach.

He throws himself back on his bed and groans. Maybe his friends can help, because Peter sure as hell has no idea what he’s doing. He tells Tony goodnight; he’ll try talking to him again later, after he’s had some time to sort this out.

-

“Stark clearly has feelings for you.” Thor takes a huge gulp of beer. “I am certain of it.”

“Oh, what do you know, Jane broke up with you,” says Michelle.

“It was a mutual dumping! And that was years ago!” he says defensively. “And why does everyone know about that.” He grumbles and frowns and goes back to his beer.

MJ raises a brow at him and holds up her cellphone.

“You’re just upset I wouldn’t let you use your forged identification,” Thor grouses.

“What do you care about that _anyway_?! You’ve probably been drinking since you were five!” she rolls her eyes. “And I wouldn’t need to use a fake ID if we could just have gone to the coffee shop like usual.”

“I do not like deconstructed beverages and very tiny cups, _Michelle_.”

“But you like regular coffee. Which they also have,” she points out and rolls her eyes again.

“So, uh, Ned?” Peter asks, trying to tune out MJ and Thor.

Ned looks up from his phone. “Dude. I’m running your social media right now so I’m a little busy. Just… Just talk to him,” he shrugs. “You know, like a human.”  

Peter wonders why he ever thought this was going to help him.

**-**

That night, Peter gets a text message from Tony.

 **I know you don’t want to talk about what**  
**happened, so we don’t have to. But whatever**  
**happened- I know it’s fucking with you, kid.**  
**I can tell.**  
**I know a thing or two about being fucked**  
**in the head, Peter. It’s not fun. But it doesn’t**  
**have to win. Don’t do what I did. Don’t**  
**suffer through it in silence, don’t**  
**ignore it. Okay? Promise me you’ll**  
**talk to someone about this. If you can’t**  
**talk to me. Talk to someone. MJ or Ned.**  
**Or Thor. Whatever. I don’t care. Just please**  
**don’t do the whole tough guy thing. I’ve**  
**been there, done that. It’s over rated.**

How is it that Tony knows him- really _knows_ him- even here?

-

Tonight. Tonight, he’ll talk to Tony.

He can do this.

**-**

Peter is pretty sure he’s never been this nervous in his life. He’s trying to ignore the fact that his senses are driving him insane- insane to the point that he wants to crawl out of his own skin. He takes a deep breath and reassures himself. Tony _does_ seem to really understand him. So maybe if… if some things seem to be repeating themselves… maybe this will, too?

“Do you ever get panic attacks?” is probably not the best way to start a conversation, but it’s the middle of the night, Peter has no idea what he’s doing, and he just wants to talk to Tony. Fuck, at least his pride can take a break in the middle of the night. He is exhausted, and he just wants to be around the other man.

And apparently, that’s okay. Because Tony invites him to his workshop. Peter can’t help but grin as he slips on a pair of house-shoes and heads down.

“Another suit?” he asks when he enters.

Tony’s sitting at his desk, looking at schematics. He nods but doesn’t look away from his work. He spins the diagram around, zooms in, then shakes his head and disperses the image.

Dum-E approaches Peter with a cup of coffee in his claw. Peter smiles and laughs. “How’s married life?” he asks the bot, a call back to their phone call.

Peter takes the coffee and has a sip, grimacing.

“It’s pretty bad, huh?” Tony chuckles.

“Are you sure it’s even coffee?” he asks.

Tony shrugs. “FRIDAY assures me its fit for consumption.”

“FRIDAY lies,” Peter says, still pulling a face.

Tony laughs and motions for Peter to come over.

“Now, before I show you this… Do _all_ watches trigger you, or just the $610,000.00 kind? Because I’ve got to warn you, this one is _probably_ a lot more expensive.”

Peter isn’t sure if he wants to turn around and leave, glare at Tony, or start crying. He sort-of wants to do all three, but he settles on glaring. “You’re hilarious,” he says. His voice is dry, but he can feel how hot his cheeks are becoming and he looks away, uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry, that was…” Tony sighs. “I don’t really know what I’m doing, Pete,” he says almost timidly. “But I want to fix this.”

Peter glances back at Tony and watches him look around the room, at his work table, and then back at Peter. He taps his fingers nervously and Peter realizes that Tony- Tony _Stark_ , is anxiously waiting for _him_ to say something. It’s oddly endearing.

“It’s okay,” Peter finally says. “I’m only allergic Italian designer watches.”

Tony grins. “That’s good to know. Come take a look.”

He shows Peter the prototype of a new model he’s working on.

“If I can work the kinks out, I think I’ll make something similar for everyone on the team.” Tony gestures for Peter to have a look at his work. Peter combs through his research and trial runs and comes across twice as many references for Spider-Man and Captain America armor than for anyone else, but he doesn’t say anything.

“What problems are you having?” Peter asks, itching to learn more about the mechanics behind this newest edition to the Iron Man family. This model can _hide_ itself, and even make itself look like any of Tony’ other suits. Peter _has_ to know how it works.

“Sometimes it randomly bursts into flames,” Tony shrugs. “No biggie.”

Peter makes an “o” with his mouth and gently sets the tech down on the workbench.

“Have you got your web-shooters on you?” Tony asks, grabbing at Peter’s wrists.

“Um- yes?” Peter says. He tries to take a step back, but Tony’s got a firm grip and it feels weird to use his full strength, so he just stands there, watching Tony stare at his hands.

“I need to borrow this,” Tony says.

“O-okay,” Peter answers as the engineer takes the one off of his left wrist. “W-why?”

“R and D,” Tony says, still holding Peter’s wrist. His thumb strokes across the inside of his hand, just above the wrist. Peter laughs nervously and pulls his hand away, hoping Tony didn’t feel him shiver.  

**-**

“Do you think I should, Karen?”

_“Yes, Peter. But are you actually going to do it this time?”_

“Ugh. Yes.”

_“That’s what you said the last 78 times, too.”_

“I know, I know. I just… It’s gonna feel weird. Finally saying it all… out loud. You know?”

_“I know, Peter. I’m sorry you’re hurting. Maybe we could go for a drive and talk about it?”_

“Yeah, alright… Bring out Droney, then, I guess.”

_“Activating reconnaissance drone.”_

“What’s up, little dude?”

 

“…Um… Okay, Karen? I have no idea where to start.”

_“Let’s start at the beginning, Peter. But don’t force yourself. I know this is difficult.”_

“…Thanks.”

_“When did you first realize that you were in the Soul Stone?”_

“When my life turned into that super old movie- Groundhog Day.”

_“Peter, you are using humor to conceal how you really feel. That’s not an honest answer.”_

“Ugh. Fine. I never really ‘knew’, I don’t think. I just… thought I had traveled to the past for some reason. I kept trying to go home, but, I just kept ending right back where I started. Pretty stupid.”

_“You’re not stupid, Peter. What did you do when you thought you couldn’t leave?”_

“I guess I just… accepted it. And then I forgot… It’s weird, all of that is difficult to remember. It honestly feels like a dream, now.”

_“Does all of it seem that way, like it was just a dream?”_

“…No. Not all of it. Some of it… Some of it felt real.”

  _“What felt real, Peter?”_

 

“…I don’t know.”

_“You don’t know, or you are uncomfortable? We don’t have to talk about this if you are uncomfortable, but you need to be honest with yourself.”_

“…I’m not comfortable.”

_“That’s alright. Do you want to talk about something else?”_

“No. …No, I want to talk about this.”

_“Alright, Peter.”_

_“What felt real?”_

 

“…”

 

“…Tony.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Tony felt real.”

-

“Make yourself at home,” Tony says and gestures toward the couch. It’s facing the glass wall leading out to the balcony overlooking the forest. Outside sits a martial arts dummy and a telescope. The sky is clear, and the stars pop out like fireflies against the pitch-black backdrop.

“Great view, huh?” Tony asks, suddenly right beside him. He’s wearing an old Nirvana t-shirt and black athletic training pants. Peter blushes, feeling painfully over dressed in his button up and khakis.

“Um, yeah,” Peter says.

“You should come up to the mountains with me then,” Tony offers. “It’s beautiful this time of year.”

So, Tony’s already inviting him to his cabin in the Adirondack Mountains. “Of course.” Of _course,_ Tony is inviting him. First the watch, now this. But- Oh, _shit_. He said that out-loud.

Tony stares at him like he’s grown a second head for a moment, as if he can’t believe what Peter just said, but then he mirrors Peter’s smile and hands him a glass of something green. “It’s a date, then,” he says, standing in Peter’s personal space.

“Okay,” Peter blurts out. His palms are starting to sweat and he’s not really sure what his face is doing anymore.

Tony clears his throat and looks out the window, taking a gulp of his drink. Peter ducks his head, wondering what the hell is going on. Sometimes it really does feel like Tony is interested, but other times, like right now, Peter isn’t so sure. He’s never witnessed Tony seem so… uncertain, before.

“So, want to check out that movie, or-?” Tony tilts his head toward the balcony, recovering from the awkward moment first.

“Oh, I mean, we can still watch Deadpool, I want to see it, I just-”

“Come on,” Tony says, placing a hand on Peter’s upper back. They walk out, and Tony asks FRIDAY to play something. _The Cranberries_ start to play, and Tony shows him a few constellations.  

-

Somehow stargazing through Tony’s Celestron Telescope has turned into stargazing from the stone floor of the balcony.

“Do you want to get your masters?” Tony asks, seemingly out of the blue.

“Don’t I technically have to get my bachelor’s again?” Peter asks and groans. “Ugh, I’m gonna be almost forty by the time I’m done with school at this rate.”

“Someone doesn’t check their personal file often,” Tony sing-songs and makes a show of stretching out and uncrossing and re-crossing his ankles.

Peter raises to his elbows and glares at Tony. “Tell me you _didn’t-_ ”

Tony turns his head and quirks a brow, staring him in the eye. “Didn’t what, make sure all your education was included in your files?”

“I don’t technically _have_ a degree, Tony.”

“Yes, you do. And I don’t give a damn about that anyway- you love what you do, and you excel at it and _that’s_ what matters.”

They’re still looking at each other.

“So, do you?” Tony presses.

Peter lays back down.

“Yes, of course. But- Well, let’s be honest. You’re decades ahead of the rest of the world- I wish I could just, you know-”

“Are you trying to tell me you want to be my side-kick, because that’s what I’m hearing right now,” Tony cuts him off, grinning.

Peter rolls his eyes. “Side kick?” He snorts. “And what crimes are we going to be fighting, House Arrest Man?”

Tony pouts and Peter laughs at him.

-

The compound is asleep, save for the two of them. It’s close to two in the morning and Peter has promised to train with Natasha first thing in the morning, and he’s working with Ned all day tomorrow on their Thanos Project as well, but that doesn’t stop him from showing Tony how to make May’s wheat cakes.

They finish cooking and eat at the counter. Tony’s foot brushes against his, but maybe he doesn’t notice, because he doesn’t move away. Neither does Peter.

“Can I ask you something?” Peter says.

Tony tilts his head. “Go for it.”

“Why are you still helping the Avengers?”

Tony doesn’t immediately answer. “It’s what’s best for everyone,” he finally says.

“It doesn’t really… seem that way,” Peter says with a small shrug.

“What do you mean?”

“It just seems like they need you more than you need them, is all.”

At that, Tony gives a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, well, someone’s got to make sure it all doesn’t go to pot. I haven’t almost died multiple times for nothing.”

“But you don’t need to force yourself to be around Rogers,” Peter counters.

“Oh, so it’s Rogers, again? What happened to _Captain_?”

Peter frowns. “I was just being professional,” he mutters.  

“I’m just messing with you, kid.”

“I’m not a kid,” Peter says, a bit louder than he had meant to.

Tony puts his fork down and stares at him for a moment. “I know you’re not,” he says softly. “Sorry, it’s just… a habit, I guess.”

“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have snapped. I guess I’m just frustrated.”

“What’s got your underoos in a twist, Pete?”

Peter gives him a look for the nickname but doesn’t comment on it. He takes a deep breath and decides that now is as good a time as any to start opening up. “In the Soul World-” he pauses and glances at Tony, who just sits and stares at him, eyes wide.

“Why are we pausing?” Tony says. “You’re supposed to pause at the dramatic parts, Peter.”

Peter laughs awkwardly. “Sorry, I thought you’d say something obnoxious about me finally bringing it up.”

Tony just keeps looking at him and gestures with his hand for him to continue, growing impatient.

“Right. Sorry. Anyway, in the Soul World… The war never happened. Loki never happened. None of it… Everyone got along and it- well, it was nice. But it wasn’t real. In reality, Rogers screwed you over, and Natasha is more interested in what’s best for SHIELD than anything else. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really have an issue with Nat, it’s all about the job with her if Clint- well and probably Bruce- isn’t involved. But I just don’t get why you still want to work with them. You don’t need them. You don’t need to put up with their politics and their drama.”    

“I backed the Accords, Pete. I have to set an example. We don’t always get to just do what we want.”

“But you could-”

“I fucked up, Peter. I fucked up with Ultron and it all just started going to hell after that. No one trusted us, and I made it worse. It was my fault, and I had to fix it.” His jaw clenches. “So, I’m fixing it. We needed the Accords- and we still need them. I had… a moment of weakness when-” Tony blinks and pauses for a moment. “Well. Let’s just say that between Thanos and things ending with Pepper, I haven’t been at my best. But I made a commitment and I’m going to see it through.”

“You don’t have to shoulder it all, Tony,” Peter says, but he knows his words are falling on deaf ears.

Tony turns to face him, a half smile on his face. “I think I can put up with Rogers if you stick around,” he says quietly.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Peter says quickly. He wants to reach out and place a hand on Tony’s to reassure him, but he loses his nerve.

**-**

Peter freezes when he sees Tony, not sure how to behave after last night. All they did was talk, but it had been such an intimate conversation and he isn’t sure how to act now.

But then Tony smiles at him, and it’s a real smile- soft and relaxed. “Hey,” Tony says. And even though Natasha is there as well, it feels like a private moment.

Of course, Peter has to ruin it by being awkward. “Sup.” Who says sup?!

But then Peter catches Tony checking him out. Like actually, honest to goodness, slowly dragging his eyes across his chest and down his stomach, mouth agape. It makes Peter a bit nervous, but mostly it just makes him excited. He grabs some water, trying to hide his stupid grin, and sprints off to take a shower.

Tonight. Tonight, he’ll definitely tell him how he feels. Tony has asked him to hangout the last two nights- if he asks again, Peter will say something for sure.

-

And if Tony doesn’t text him, well, then maybe he really is reading this wrong and he’ll just have to forget it. He’d rather be friends with Tony than nothing at all, and he’s not going to risk their friendship if he doesn’t even have a chance.

-

Saturday night comes and goes, and Tony never texts him.

-

But then they have a team meeting on Monday. The SHIELD advisor has them doing team building exercises, which in theory sounds like a good idea, but in practice Peter is pretty sure it’s just going to start another fight. Powell might think she’s helping the team by forcing Tony and Steve to talk to each other, but it’s just making everyone more on edge.

She has them switch partners, and Tony catches Peter’s eye. Fuck. They haven’t spoken in a few days and Peter is back to not knowing how to act around the older man.

But surprisingly, Peter keeps his cool through their bantering. That is, until-

“What can I say, Pete?” Tony sighs. “I like everything about you. We’ll be here all day if I get started.”

Peter turns bright red and looks away but chances a glance at Tony out of the corner of his eye. The older man just looks at him, head tilted to the side. He’s got a thoughtful look on his face. Mixed with a bit of… something else. Peter wants to give it a name-  ~~longing~~  -but he doesn’t dare.

-  
-

 **You’re the bravest person I know.**  
**You could have sailed through life on your**  
**father’s achievements, but you didn’t. You made**  
**something so much better- and you haven’t stopped yet.**  
**You’re kinder than you let on.**

 **-  
** **-**

Peter and Ned have been working for a while, they’ve got all the footage from their last interview edited and now he’s working on his intro. They should have filmed when they had the benefit of natural light, but they ran behind and now they’re checking the lighting equipment when Tony gives a knock and pokes his head in.

“Pete?” Tony raises a brow. “Is this a bad time, or…?”

“No, it’s okay!” Peter says and stands up so quickly he hits his knee. “What -ow- what’s up?”

“I just wanted to see if you wanted to get some dinner, maybe help me in the workshop a bit?” Tony turns his gaze from Peter to… Fuck. The photos Peter has displayed. Fuck fuck _fuck._

“Ned? You game?” Tony asks, as if he hasn’t just seen two photos of himself in Peter’s room.

“Sorry, Tony, but we’ve got to finish this,” he says anxiously, wishing the ground would swallow him up.

“Shooting a porno at the compound?” Tony grins. “Don’t tell Rogers.”

Peter blushes furiously. “It’s just a vlog!”

Tony laughs. “Whatever you say, Spider-Boy.” He waves goodbye and leaves.

As soon as the door shuts Peter collapses into his chair. “Oh my god,” he says.

“What’s wrong?” Ned asks.

“Tony knows I’m a complete weirdo now. Why did I have to put up those pictures. _Why_.”

“Well, it didn’t seem to bother him,” Ned says and shrugs. “I mean, he was still flirting with you.”

“You think he was flirting?!” Peter asks, suddenly perking up.

“Oh my god, Peter. You are the dumbest smart person ever.”

-

Mind made up, Peter apologizes and asks Ned if they can reschedule. Ned rolls his eyes but smiles and says sure. Peter sprints down the hall to catch up with Tony, only to find him with Lisa Powell. Their eyes meet for a brief moment, but Peter is already backing away, feeling foolish.

-

-

 

 

Peter sits on one of the highest branches of his favorite tree on the compound grounds and tells himself that he doesn’t need to cry about this.

He just misread things with Tony, that’s all. He mistook kindness for interest and let his imagination and his friends’ encouragement carry him away. How stupid and childish is he? Peter feels like a fool, looking back on it.

Tony giving him back his suit, all the times he’s helped him, making time to hangout... He was just making sure Peter felt welcome again. Felt at home. He would have done the same for any of them- In fact, he  _has_.

Peter’s thoughts shift to Steve Rogers.

He had never been as taken with Captain America as he was with Iron Man, but he used to look up to him and thought that he and Tony made a good team. Peter used to watch the footage of their battles religiously and was always blown away by how flawlessly they teamed up; they seemed more like the right and left hand of some greater force than two separate beings.  They balanced each other out, one always bringing out the best in the other.

Until Steve betrayed Tony, w _ounded_  him, really- A part of the whole had been ripped away and he was left with an exposed, gaping wound and two obvious options: allow it to fester and become infected... or cauterize it and move on. Well, Tony had tried to. He had even healed, in a way, and had done his best to push forward. But Peter knew that underneath the tough scar tissue sat fragile flesh, new and easily torn.

…Peter knows more about Tony than he should, probably. He might not have learned about all of Tony’s proverbial skeletons, perhaps, but he knows all his tells, all his quirks, all his strengths and weaknesses. And while he might not know all the specifics, he knows he’s been fucked over more times than anyone should have to bear, and he knows that some of it he brought on himself. He also knows that he had gone through hell and come out on the other side to become the man he is today.

Peter thinks that the things Tony has gone through would have crushed a weaker man, and yet he still reached out to him, broken parts and missing pieces and all, and offered friendship and a chance to start over once more. At first Peter had snubbed it, but now it feels like a lifeline.

He won’t take Tony’s gift lightly. He will be the friend, the  _true_  friend, Rogers never could be. He can put his feelings aside and do this one thing for Tony.

Peter closes his eyes, tries to take a deep breath, and wills the tears in his eyes to go away. A few escape and spill down his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: The suit Tony is working on is the Mark 51. :) 
> 
> Also- I have midterms for yoga teacher training coming up at the beginning of next month. I'm also a work at home mama to a toddler (not sure if I even mentioned that lol), and I have a SHIT TON of reading assignments and a project and about a million other things that need my attention so updates will be slow for a bit. I'm also going back and reworking a few things in this story; I've got everything plotted out completely now but I need to fix a few minor things to make it all work. Oh, and apparently my typing style is complete crap. I've jammed my right index finger. Just watched a "how to type correctly" video and I do NOT type that way. Owww.  
> Tomorrow's update will mark the end of the first part of the story and I'm super pumped to post it!! After that updates will be about once or twice a week I'm thinking, until I get caught up on work/hw. Thank you all so much for your lovely comments and kudos! I love writing this story and I love chatting with all y'all!


	16. Interlude

“Thank fuck for Thanos, am I right?”

“You don’t think we should maybe lay low for a while? Get our inventory built back up a little more? I’ve got a few things in the works you’re gonna like.”

“Nah, you worry too much. And besides- We wait much longer? They’re gonna start to really have their shit together.”

“I don’t know, boss, maybe we should-”

“I know you want to get back to your pet projects but since when are you so cautious, huh? Parker’s back and Stark just had a fuckin mental breakdown. I’d say it’s time to get this show on the road.”

“I just think we should play it safe for a bit. No one thinks you survived and you know Stark has been-”

“We don’t need to play it safe. Because _no_ _one_ is going to know it was me when they both end up dead.”

-

-

-

“I wondered which insect would crawl out from under its rock first. …Not much of a challenge, but-

Oh, to hel with it. I have never been so _bored_ in my life. _Finally_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey bad guys. So nice of you to FINALLY join us. Anyway, I'm off to beat my To Do list into submission so I can get back to writing. Have a great day y'all. I'm planning on posting another chapter by Friday!


	17. Chapter 17

**Last Monday, late afternoon:**

“Dr. Martin- No. Nope. I already can’t believe I’m doing this, Linda- Can I call you Linda?”

“Certainly, if it helps you feel more at ease.”

“Alright then, Linda. Seeing as I’m being forced to see you and you’ve been vetted by Happy himself- Why not; I’ll bite… What would you do if, say, you suddenly found yourself… noticing something you’ve never noticed before?”

“Well, that depends. But I would probably ask myself what made me notice it in the first place.”

“Ha. Where do I even begin.”

“…You seem tense, Mr. Stark.”

“Oh, do I?”

“Is this something you’d like to discuss?”

“Hmm, nope. Not really. I am not going down _that_ particular rabbit hole today, thank you.”

“Alright, is there anything else you’d like to talk about?”

“…You know, you don’t pry much for a shrink.”

“I find that to be a tad counter-productive. You’ll either open up when you feel ready or we’ll both realize we simply aren’t a fit.”

“Huh. I like you. You can stay- Maybe.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. Now, is there anything else you _do_ feel up to discussing?”

“…No, but- Oh, boy. I just- How did this even happen. He is not supposed to be all- I mean _honestly_ , it’s ridiculous. He’s gone a few months and has the audacity to comes back looking like a… Oh my god I can’t even say it out loud because last year he was a _kid_.”

“Is this about Mr. Parker? Because he’s close to 27. I hardly think he’s a child.”

“Yeah, well, last year he was a teenager and I was his fucking _mentor_.”  

“And now he is an adult and you can still be his mentor. What is _really_ bothering you?”

-

Tony cuts the session short before he says something he might regret.

Like, “I want him and that’s inappropriate, but I keep flirting with him anyway because I’m a self-destructive masochist with no impulse control.”

Yeah. That will really work in his favor.

-

Tony had met Peter when he was a child.

Their relationship has always been that of mentor and protégé; just because Peter is a ~~sexy as hell~~  adult now doesn’t, well, _shouldn’t_ change anything. Tony has always had a figurative authority over Peter due to their roles as Iron Man and Spider-Man. But now he also has a _literal_ authority over the younger man- Tony is the owner of Stark industries and Peter is the employee he is about to send to university, all expenses covered. (If he can get away with it.)

Sure, Tony’s not CEO anymore, but how would it look to the public if he were to pursue anything with someone he had once chosen for a Stark Internship (again, when he was a _child_ ). Hiring him as a full-time employee is one thing. But anything else would be inappropriate. The nature of their relationship, and how it came about, would always be questioned…

Add to that the fact that Peter still has a secret identity to maintain. Thanks to the Accords, most top-ranking government officials know the identity of all super-powered humans, but the general public isn’t privy to that information unless the super-powered human in question doesn’t bother to keep their identity a secret in the first place. Being with Tony means being in the spot light. Peter is great with people, but he isn’t the type to enjoy constant attention. Pepper had the thick skin for it, but Peter _needs_ to keep Peter and Spider-Man separate for his own well-being. Why else would he maintain a vlog about Spider-Man, without showcasing any of his incredible inventions?

And besides _all_ that- Tony has a responsibility to Peter. Aside from May, Tony is the only family Peter has.

And Peter is honestly the only family Tony has, too. Pepper needs the space and time to work on herself before they can work on building their friendship again. Rhodey has always been his best friend but his first loyalty is to the government, and so there will always be things Tony has to keep to himself. ~~Not to mention the strain ever since the Civil War... Rhodey assures him they are fine, but Tony still can’t shake the guilt.~~ He knows Happy will always have his back, but he works with Pepper now. Which is what Tony wants, really. He needs to know that Pepper will always be protected if he’s not there.

And at one point, he had thought of Rogers as a brother. But that’s all in the past now.

So, Peter really is all he’s got left. Peter, who punched Rogers for him. Who told him he didn’t need to fix everything himself. Who looks at stars with him and makes him laugh and reminds him that there are still reasons to wake up every day, just by being here.

Tony finally has him back. He can’t ruin it.

And yet-

_“You should come up to the mountains with me. -It’s beautiful this time of year.”_

_“Of course.”_

_“It’s a date, then.”_

_“Okay.”_

-Sometimes it seems like Peter might feel the same.

-

Seeing the photo of the two of them, as well as the clipping of himself from a press conference, on display with Peter’s photos of May and MJ and Ned seem to be the sign Tony didn’t know he was looking for. Peter stands up, completely embarrassed, and tries to hide the photos and Tony knows now. He _knows_ this isn’t one-sided.

Peter practically kicks him out, but Tony can’t help but grin and crack a joke.

-

“Hey, you.” It’s Lisa, and apparently, she’s been waiting for him in the common area. Why didn’t FRIDAY say anything?

Tony pauses on his way to his shop and looks around the room and then back to her, brows furrowed. “Did we have plans?” he asks.

She pours herself a glass of wine and saunters over to him. “No, I was just in the neighborhood.”

Tony tries to think of a tactful way to tell her he doesn’t think they should do this again but she’s already kissing him. And from the reflection in the window, Tony can see the moment Peter walks in and they lock eyes for a second. Tony finally pushes Lisa away and calls out to him, but Peter has already started to back out of the room.

“I’m s-so sorry!” Peter stammers and runs off.

Tony follows him, ignoring Lisa’s questioning gaze.

“Peter, wait!” he calls before the younger man decides to use his abilities to leave any faster. Tony might be in shape, but there’s no way in hell he’d ever keep up with Spidey outside of his suit.

“Peter, please. We need to talk.”

At that, Peter pauses but doesn’t look at him. Tony finishes catching up to him and places a hand on his arm. “That wasn’t what it looked like,” he says quietly. “It’s just something casual and I was about to end it. You hav-”

“Tony, you don’t have to explain your love life to me,” Peter says with an empty laugh, and he refuses to meet the older man’s eyes. “It’s cool. I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Peter, wait-”

But Peter rips his arm from Tony’s grasp. “Bye,” he says softly and walks away.

-

“Sir, Director Fury is on the line for you,” FRIDAY says.

Tony rips his protective eye-ware off and tosses them on his workbench. He’s been taking things apart again since he’s determined to not drink and he’s _absolutely_ certain he’s going to have some sort of breakdown if he doesn’t stay occupied because Peter is back to not speaking to him. Again.

Fury better have something important to say because Tony is _not_ in the mood for any bullshit after last night.

He turns off his music ( _Black Sabbath_ today) and has FRIDAY put him through.

“What do you want, Fury.”

“Stark, I need your help. We’ve found more alien weaponry being distributed and some of it looks new.”

“What do you mean ‘new’?” Tony asks, mildly intrigued now.

“Did I stutter? I mean we’ve never seen anything like it before. Theory is some of it came back from the Soul World when certain individuals returned.”

Tony thinks about Peter’s file- it had started he’d returned in a tux and a watch. If a watch could come back… What else could be here now?

“Are you telling me all the assholes we tossed in jail aren’t accounted for, Nick?”

“Of course they are,” Fury snaps, and Tony can feel his single eye narrowing. “This could be a new threat.”

“New alien tech, huh? Or, I guess, Soul World tech...” Tony mutters out-loud to himself and runs a hand through his hair. He can only imagine what sort of fucked up weaponry someone with a sick mind could have thought up in their ‘perfect’ world. And then brought back home. “Well, this should be loads of fun. Except there’s one little problem.”

“And what would that be?” Fury demands.

“I’m definitely your best bet at solving this. Only, I’m under house arrest, Nicole. I’d love to help you, buuuut. I can’t. Sorry.”

“I’ll talk to Ross,” Fury says, ignoring Tony’s attempt to bait him. “But I want you on this _now_.”

“And _I_ want to be able to test my new suit on the field, but we don’t always get what we want.”

“I need you on this, Stark. This is serious. I’ll get back to you about your status.”

“Ugh, fine. Send me all you’ve got,” Tony huffs.

“Widow should have it for you now.”

“I’m not telling you anything until you get this hideous anklet off of me.”

“Just get to work,” Fury nearly shouts.

-

Tony looks up from his work when a thought occurs to him.

“FRIDAY, show me everything we’ve got on Phineas Mason.”

He combs through it for a minute and frowns. “There’s nothing on him since the incident with The Vulture,” he mutters to himself.

“That’s correct, sir. Phineas Mason went back off the grid shortly after the arrest of Adrian Toomes,” FRIDAY supplies.

“So, we don’t know if he wound up in the Soul World or not, but it’s worth looking into,” Tony says. The descriptions of the new weapons scream ‘The Tinkerer’. “Looks like we’ve got a lead.”

-

Tony takes a shower, shaves, and puts on one of his favorite suits- a Givenchy two-piece solid in black with a matching tie. He hasn’t worried about personal hygiene in… a few days… But he’s got to speak to Peter now and he refuses to let anyone see him look anything less than impeccable after what happened in New Zealand.

He still can’t leave the compound yet, and he, quite frankly, doesn’t really trust anyone else on the team other than Bruce, and this sort of mission doesn’t exactly play to the Hulk’s strengths. Besides, even though Peter is still giving Tony the cold shoulder, Tony knows he’s the best person for the job.

He knocks on Peter’s door and is surprised by how quickly he answers it.

“What’s up?” Peter says, trying and failing to maintain eye contact. Ah. So, they’ve moved on to “of course, everything is normal, why do you ask?”. Tony supposes it’s better than being ignored, but not by much. It’s so… disingenuous.

“I need you to help me find Phineas Mason,” Tony says, trying to ignore how much he wants to address the elephant in the room.

Peter instantly perks up and drops the act. Tony can’t help but grin a little and think, ‘ _There_ you are.’

“I’m in. What’s up?” Peter says, stepping out of the way to let Tony in. They talk for well over an hour and Tony is pleasantly surprised to learn that Peter has become quite the strategist.

He tries to not focus on the fact that his photos have been removed.

“I’ll let you know when I locate him,” Tony says as he heads for the door.

“Alright,” Peter says. He’s back to being awkward and distant again, now that the shop talk is dwindling to a stilted halt. “Thanks. Um, thanks for trusting me with this.”

Tony waves his hand, dismissing Peter’s thanks. “Toomes went after you and Mason was his guy, so. This is your fight, Pete. I’m just here to help.”

Peter blushes and looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. Tony gives a tight smile and takes his leave.

-

“Do you have any idea how _boring_ Norway is?” Loki says when Tony enters his private suite. Loki is sprawled out on one of the larger sofas, pretending to flip through an old book.

Tony just stares at him. “Do you have any idea how to knock on the front door?”

It’s Loki’s turn to give Tony a look.

“Listen, I’m in the middle of something, so, what do you want?” Tony asks. Loki may have helped them finally defeat Thanos, but he’s not stupid enough to think it was for anyone other than Loki’s own good. Well, and Thor’s.

Loki grins. “Can’t I just visit with an old friend?”

“Thor drug you along to meet Peter, didn’t he.”

At that Loki throws his head back on the cushions. “If you must know, _yes_.”

“So why are you… here?”

“Because the two of them are _insufferable_ ,” he sighs, exasperated. Tony gets the distinct feeling that Loki doesn’t like having to share his brother with the younger man and he can’t help but smirk.

“Did Peter take your favorite toy, Reindeer Games?” Tony says, ignoring Loki’s words. He’s learned by now that Loki didn’t get his name- The Liesmith- from nowhere. He’s not going to take the bait. At least not until he knows where Loki is going with this.

Loki snaps the book shut and sits up, making a show of smoothing his hair and checking his cuff links. “I should be asking you that, Stark,” Loki says, voice as light and smooth as ever.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Tell me why you’re here before I give our mutual friend a call,” he says, alluding to Bruce.

Loki visibly stiffens for a moment. “Attacking unprovoked? My, that will certainly help your case,” he says, glancing at Tony’s left ankle, where his tracker sits.

“ _Loki_.”

“Fine, fine,” the god says and waves a hand at him. “Look, I cannot tolerate Thor prattling on and on about the revitalization of ‘New Asgard’ _and_ listen to him go on and on and _on_ about you and his little… _Spider_ friend.”

Tony blinks. “What?”

Loki rolls his eyes. “Thor enjoys meddling in the affairs of mortals. I, _however_ , do not. Make things right with this Parker fellow before I send you both to your maker.”

“That a threat, Rock of Ages?” Tony asks darkly.

“Not at all,” Loki smiles. “But I do have some friendly advice- you _may_ want to lay low for a while,” he says before disappearing.

-

Tony pulls up security footage from the entire day and sees Loki snooping around every corner of the compound with no Thor in sight. He narrows his eyes. Loki didn’t come for a social visit- he’s looking for something.

“Thank for the heads up, FRIDAY,” he grouses.

“I apologize, sir. Loki was able to manipulate my servers and I was unable to tell you.”

Damn sorcery; he’ll have to make Stephen help him with some magical firewalls.

Whatever Loki is looking for, Tony is not going to wait around and just let the god of mischief handle it alone; he doesn’t exactly have the best track record with decisions. Not that Tony has much room to talk, but still.

“Where’s Peter?” he asks FRIDAY.

“He’s disabled his tracker again, sir,” says FRIDAY. “But Mr. Leads is in his dorm and Ms. Jones is at a party. Perhaps Mr. Parker is with one of them?”

“That’s what I’m thinking,” Tony says. He gets ready to suit up, ignoring the fact that he’s still under house arrest. It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission, after all. Not that he’d ever do either when it comes to SHIELD.

“Sir, you have an incoming call from Director Fury.”

“Put him through.”

“Stark, I’ve-”

“I hope you’re calling to give me some good news because I’m on my way to the city. I don’t have time to wait around.”

The tracker falls off of his ankle in response and Tony sighs dramatically. “I was really looking forward to doing that myself,” he grumbles.

“I expect a report in 24 hours,” Fury says.

\-   

Peter is at a house party with Michelle in the suburbs. Luckily, he doesn’t have to look for him- the two of them are sitting on the front porch.

Tony disengages his suit and approaches them. When Peter spots him, he immediately stands up, but sways a bit. Michelle looks up from her phone and smirks.

“Are you _drinking_?” Tony asks, frowning.

Peter glares at him. “So what if I am? It’s not illegal.”

Tony takes a deep breath. “Alright. Fair enough. But I need to talk to you. _Now._ ”

Peter seems to sober up a bit at Tony’s tone. He turns to MJ and tells her he’ll be right back.

“Oh, sure you will,” she calls without looking up, but she’s grinning. “Hi, Mr. Stark. Bye, Mr. Stark.”

Peter walks down the steps of the front porch and follows Tony down to the sidewalk, away from the crowd. They keep walking and wind up at a park in the neighborhood. It’s well after midnight and no one else is around.

“What’s up?” Peter asks. “Did you find Mason?”

Tony raises his brows. “Would that information do you any good right now? You’re drunk.”

“Healing factor,” Peter mumbles. “I sober up pretty fast…”

“What does that matter if you’re drunk _now_?” Tony demands.

“Are you for real, right now, Tony?” Peter laughs bitterly. “You have _no_ room to talk.”

“Loki came to the compound today, looking for something,” Tony says, trying to stay on track. He might not have any moral high ground, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to let Peter repeat his mistakes. “He warned me to lay low. He knows something, and I need your help.”

Peter looks down, then back up at Tony. “Alright,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

“I’ve heard worse,” Tony dismisses it.

“I’ve got my suit, we can-”

“Oh, no no no,” Tony says. “You’re not going anywhere, you drunk little spider. We’re going home, and we’ll start fresh tomorrow.”

Peter laughs. “I’m not that drunk. And I wasn’t kidding- give me a few minutes. I’ll be ready to pass that sobriety test, officer,” he says with a wink and salute. He stumbles on a wayward root. Tony puts an arm around him to steady him and Peter freezes.

“Sorry,” Tony says stiffly and pulls away.

Peter shakes his head and turns around to face him; they’re practically the same height now. It would be so easy to… Tony looks at Peter, who keeps shifting his gaze from Tony’s eyes to his lips. Tony swallows, taking a small step forward. Peter rests his hands on Tony’s chest, but he doesn’t meet his gaze.

“Tell me I’m not reading this wrong,” Peter nearly whispers.

At those words, Tony places his hands on either side of Peter’s face, tipping his head up to look into his eyes.

“Are you sure about this, Peter?” Tony asks quietly.

“Yes,” Peter says quickly. “Are you- you and Powell…?”

“I wasn’t kidding when I said it was just a casual thing,” Tony says.

Peter grins and before he can think better of it, Tony kisses him. He has every intention of keeping it short and sweet, Peter _has_ been drinking after all, but Peter has other ideas. The younger man throws his arms around Tony’s neck and pulls him closer. He opens his mouth and nips at Tony’s lower lip and Tony smirks; two can play at that game.

He pushes Peter against the tree. Keeping one hand on Peter’s cheek, his fingertips graze his hairline. He drags his other down to Peter’s hip, keeping him in place. Peter gasps and Tony deepens the kiss, trying to get as close as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D


	18. Chapter 18

Tony kisses him again, slow and lingering. Peter runs his hands through Tony's hair and breaks the kiss with a breathy sigh. Tony takes the opportunity to trail his lips up and down Peter’s neck and push their hips together. “I missed you, I missed _this_ ,” Peter groans softly and rocks his hips up to meet Tony’s.

At that moment Tony realizes three things:

  * He is making out with his employee/team-mate in public, and they’re pawing at each other like _teenagers_.
  * Said employee/team-mate is decidedly _not_ sober, which just makes this situation _ten_ times better.
  * Peter just said, “I missed this.”



How can he miss something Tony is 1000% certain has never happened? It could just be a drunken slip-up, sure, but… Suddenly things are starting to fall into place now and Tony can’t believe he didn’t see it sooner. He lets out a shaky breath and gently presses his forehead to Peter’s, trailing his hands down to catch the younger man’s own, twining their fingers together. “Pete,” he breathes. “We should… go home.”

Peter blinks and looks off to the left of Tony’s face. “Y-yeah,” he says. “Actually- I should get back to MJ. I promised I’d come back... It doesn’t feel right leaving her at a party alone.”

“Michelle can handle herself,” Tony says but he steps back a bit.

He’s such a hypocrite. The only reason he’s said that is because he wants to make Peter come home with him… But Peter isn’t a kid anymore. And you really can’t go cramming your tongue down someone’s throat one minute and then boss them around the next. Tony’s sure there’s a joke there somewhere but now isn’t really the time.

“Tony, I promised her I’d stay,” Peter says quietly. Tony can feel him getting more uncomfortable by the minute. Peter seems sharper now; maybe he’s sobering up and feels embarrassed by how forward he’s been.

Tony sighs. If he can’t make him come home, he at least wants to make sure Peter’s not going to draw back into himself ( _again_ ) so he squeezes his hands. “Alright,” he concedes. "But… We’re talking about this tomorrow. Okay? No running off again.”

Peter meets Tony’s eyes for a moment. “Okay.”

-

Late that evening, well after midnight, Tony finds The Tinkerer. Or, at least, he finds a few of his bases. They still have to get clearance from SHIELD to deploy anymore than a handful of Iron Men suits for patrol, so Tony had to make due with that (and a few under the radar drones) and hope for the best.

As it turns out, Mason is active in the tri-state area and _well_ beyond, making and selling arms and as of yet still unknown advanced technology to the highest bidders- this is turning out to be a bigger operation than what the Vulture had been running.

He also receives a message from King T’Challa. Apparently, they’re having a similar problem. How the fuck has this been going on for this long, right under their noses?

-

Early the next morning, Peter enters the conference room and Tony instantly recognizes the suit he has on as the grey one he had picked out for him. He can’t help but smile as something akin to desire and smug satisfaction curl in the pit of his stomach. He waves Peter over to sit with him on the couch, patting the seat next to him. Peter blushes and sits across from him instead.

Tony inwardly groans. Here we go again.

“Where is everyone else?” Peter asks. His voice shakes a bit and he’s trying and failing to hide his nervousness with a smile.

“We need to talk first, Peter.”

Tony didn’t think it was possible, but Peter turns an entire shade pinker and his eyes widen. “Now? Like, n- _now_ -now? I thought this was like an emergency meeting and we’d, you know, talk about- about that like… _after_? Or something? Shouldn’t we focus on the problem with Mason, first? I mean- You know…uh-?” he rambles, voice high, but he nearly chokes and has to clear his throat.

Tony wonders if he’s about to combust right there on the spot, but at least Peter isn’t trying to avoid what’s happened; he’s just shy. Tony can work with that- Peter’s awkward behavior is hilarious (he’ll admit it; he’s no saint) but it’s also completely endearing. Tony chuckles and shakes his head; he wants to make a comment, never one to let an opportunity for wit to pass him by, but at this point Tony doesn’t want to risk all the progress they’ve made so he doesn’t say anything, giving Peter the chance to continue if he wants.

They might be in the middle of their newest crisis, but he’s always got a moment to spare for Peter. ~~He’ll never make that mistake again. God, never again.~~

“ _Oh_. Oh, that _is_ what you m-meant by ‘talk’, isn’t it?” Peter stutters, biting his lip and looking at his feet. “Sorry, wow. Ha... Okay. Um. Anyway. Sorry...”

“No apologies necessary, Mr. Parker,” he says. Truth be told, he’s more than a little pleased to see he isn’t the only one thinking this much about… whatever is happening between them... and he wants Peter to know that. Tony grins and gives him a wink and Peter squirms under his gaze. Tony doesn’t even bother to hide the wolfish glint in his eye as he pulls up all the information he’s gathered.

Peter raises a brow. “We’re really not going to wait for everyone else?” Apparently, it doesn’t take Peter as long to compose himself as it used to. Tony tries not to pout at that, but he will at least admit it’s impressively professional.

“We need to form a game plan together before we tell the children, don’t we?” Tony says.

Something seems to dawn on Peter. “Is this… Is this _my_ operation?” he asks, eyes wide with disbelief.

Tony nods and gives him an odd look. “Pete, I thought I made that obvious the night I clued you in on Mason. Come on, kid. Head in the game.”

Peter doesn’t comment on the nickname, which is a first, and Tony hasn’t seen a smile this big on his face in ages.

He can’t help but return it.

-

For once, Stephen knocks. “I solved your security issue,” he says.

Tony and Peter look up from where they sit, obviously in the middle of discussing something.

“Loki won’t be able to compromise FRIDAY again, but, just so you know, that wasn’t the only time he was here.”

Tony raises a brow. “Thor is fired. Call Kristy Thomas; we need a better babysitter.”

Stephen smirks. Stephen never smirks when Tony’s being suitably theatrical.  “Notice anything off on Monday night?”

Tony narrows his eyes. “No.”

“His signature is all over the common area,” Stephen says, smile just getting wider.

Monday night… When Powell had showed up. Tony’s eye twitches.

“Don’t worry,” Stephen says, voice dripping with schadenfreude, “I’m _certain_ those were the only times he was here.”

-

“What have you called us here for, my friend?”

“Why don’t we ask your _brother_ , Thor.”

“Don’t look at _me_. I’m certain I have no idea what this is all about.”

“What were you doing here on Friday and why did you pose as Agent Powell on Monday?”

“On Friday? Loki, you told me you were helping our apprentice healers all day. What is going on?”

“Oh, Thor, did you _truly_ believe that? Truly?”

“Yeah, Thor. What is wrong with you.”

“I do not appreciate being ganged up on like this.”

“Answer the question, Loki.”

“Alright, if you must know, your security is absolutely abysmal, and I was putting up wards.”

“And that required wine and high-heels? -Don’t you smirk and _shrug_ at me.”

“Brother?”

“None of you imbeci-”

“ _Brother_.”

“Excuse me. None of you extremely _stupid_ imbeciles trust me. But I can’t be everywhere at once and if Thor’s going to insist on helping you, then you need wards. You stick out like a sore thumb; all these ‘super powered’ humans under one roof. It’s suicide and I’m honestly surprised your… _magician_ hasn’t already seen to it.”  

“… _Alright_. We’ll see if that story checks out, but… If you wanted a kiss from Iron Man you could have just said so.”

“Oh, _please_ save that for your little friend. I think I'm a few millennia too old for you, Stark.”

“A kiss?!”

“Thor, do calm down.”

-

After lunch, Tony has all available Avengers at the compound meet in the conference room.

“Phineas Mason is operating an underground weapons and tech cartel,” he says. “And they’ve branched out.” He pulls up a few maps. “There’s a base a few hundred south of us, and it looks like he’s operating in Wakanda and the Middle East as well.”

Rogers speaks up. “We’ll have to split up and-”

Tony shoots Rogers a glare. “Nope. Zip it, Captain.” For a moment Tony’s gaze shifts to Peter who gives the smallest of nods. Tony swallows and looks back to Rogers. “You need to figure out a new alias because you are officially done calling the shots here.”

To his credit, Rogers simply blinks and raises his brows. “Excuse me?”

“If I’m going to keep funding this little team of misfits, I’m going to have more of a damn say in what goes on.” He raises a hand before he can be interrupted, but Rogers speaks anyway. “Is this what you really want?” he asks quietly.

“I didn’t want to be a part of this at _all,_ yet here I am. I know I’ve made mistakes,” he says with a slight shrug. “But we’ve been one disaster away from imploding on ourselves for a while now, so something has to change. And as smart as I am I can only ever see things from my own perspective but- I know that now. So, I will listen to your council. I will cooperate and be professional. But I refuse to be walked on anymore.” Tony is addressing the entire room, but his gaze never leaves Rogers. “So, take the offer or get off my property.”

Rogers glances to Natasha, who’s been watching Tony with calculating eyes the whole time. She gives a small nod. Rogers sighs and sits back. He gives Tony an assessing look, like he’s seeing him in a new way suddenly. “Alright,” he concedes, but there’s a tense energy surrounding him now. “But Fury, no- the entire UN isn’t going to like it. You’ve still got tabloids talking about New Zealand.”

“They can’t do shit as long as we follow the Accords,” Tony counters. “And they’ll forget all about New Zealand once we save the world. What will this be- the eighth, ninth time?”

Tony looks back to Peter who’s smiling at him, eyes bright. He gives a small thumbs up. Natasha and Clint notice but no one else seems to. Tony continues to talk. “Rogers, Wilson, you’ll be assisting T’Challa. Nat, Clint, and Bruce- I need you in the Middle East. I trust you can get permission from the UN in a timely manner, Black Widow?”

Natasha nods and Tony grins.

“Great. Thor, Stephen, Peter- you’re with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, y'all! The recipe said to bring the Starker to a boil and then reduce to a simmer again. ;) But I wonder what Tony and Peter talked about before they met with the rest of the gang. Hmm. :'D And am I using a plot device to conveniently only focus on my favorite boys? *whistles* Nooooo, of course not...
> 
> Anyway, I'm still behind on life, but I can't stop working on this when I have the time. Hopefully I'll post again by Monday!


	19. Chapter 19

“We’re heading out now,” Rogers calls from the doorway. Tony is still sitting in the conference room and he clears the holograms when he hears the other man speak.

“Be safe,” Tony says flatly without looking at him.

There’s silence for a moment. Then a quiet, “You too. I… I’ll be going, then.”

“See ya.”

Rogers turns to leave but Peter’s words from earlier ring in Tony’s mind. He sighs and stands up. “Wait,” he calls, turning toward the taller man.

Rogers pauses and looks at him with questioning but hopeful eyes. Tony doesn’t know what to do with that expression, so he looks away, tossing a small device toward the blonde. Rogers catches it in his palm and raises a brow. It’s a small dark silver star outlined in red and blue. “What is this?” he asks.

“Put it on your chest, it’ll attach itself to your armor,” Tony says evenly, still not meeting his gaze. “Then place your hand over it.”

Rogers does, and in less than a second his Captain America shield unfolds.

“What?” Rogers breathes and almost drops it as his hands tremble.

“I upgraded your shield- you can make it compact, invisible- the works,” Tony says, pretending he’s announcing his newest tech to a room full of Stark Industries stock holders and not... his ex-best friend. “Your giant arm shin guards look ridiculous. And it’s just plain bad for our image if Captain America isn’t spangled in stars.”

“You’re… giving it back to me?”

“Look, do you want it back or not?” Tony snaps.

Steve blinks back tears and gives a watery, quiet laugh. “Thank you, Tony.”

Tony clears his throat and waves his hand in the air, turning back to his work.

-

Stephen looks at Christine like she’s a secret. Everyone else in the room may see her, may know her, but they don’t know her the way _he_ does. And it’s hard to miss- if you really look- the way she stares right back. There is a certain intimacy that comes with truly knowing another’s soul and all of its secrets, and they have it.   

The palpability of this knowledge takes them off to their own little world and, though she is seated at the farthest end of the dining table and he still stands in the doorway, they share a small smile as if they are the only people in the entire world.  

Tony would roll his eyes, but he’s too happy for them to be bitter, honestly. They may be about to take on earth’s largest cartel, but they’ve dealt with worse (seriously) and Peter is enjoying himself so much Tony is certain they could have gone anywhere and he wouldn’t have cared as long as Peter kept laughing and casually touching his arm and smiling at him like this. 

Tomorrow they’re heading south to deal with Mason. But tonight, he’s enjoying Stephen’s engagement party with his date.

Well- date in spirit, at least. Tony tries not to pout when he thinks about the conversation they’d had the day before.  They’re technically ‘together’ but Peter wants to keep the change in their relationship just between the two of them for the time being, to see where things go. He isn’t willing to risk Tony’s reputation, which is noble and sweet and mature, but it doesn’t sit well with Tony.

This must be payback for his playboy years and all the hell he gave Pepper because- a _probationary_ period, really?

Tony glances to Peter who’s listening to Stephen and Christine take turns telling a story together. It’s not getting anywhere though; they both keep stopping and correcting the other. It’s endearing in a gross sort of way.

Tony tunes them out in favor of savoring the view. Peter’s wearing the deep maroon Dolce and Gabbana suit he had picked out. It makes his skin seem almost bronze in the soft lighting and Tony finds his gaze trailing over the sharp cut of Peter’s jaw and down his long neck. Peter looks at him and their eyes meet. Tony grins and leans in close to him. “I want to show you something,” he whispers and stands up, gracefully excusing himself from the table.

He steps outside the private dining room and waits outside the door. A waiter enters the room, and Tony can hear Peter awkwardly excusing himself before joining him.

“What’s up?” Peter asks as he steps into the hallway. 

Tony throws his arm over Peter’s shoulder, dragging him off toward a large glass door. “For the record, if you want to keep _this_ a secret, maybe wait more than five seconds before following me, kid,” he says good-naturedly.

Peter blushes. “Sorry.”

Tony laughs. “Hey, they’re you’re dumb rules. I don’t care who knows how eager you are to get me all alone.” He says and pushes the door open. It leads out to a lush, roof-top garden with intimate seating tucked between the greenery.  

“Seems more like you’re the one trying to get me all alone,” Peter huffs but he’s smiling.

“Damn right,” Tony says, pulling Peter into him.

They’re kissing before Peter’s back hits the wall and Tony _aches_ with the need to touch every inch of him. Peter has one hand on his chest and the other clutches at his shoulder and for a moment Tony thinks he might push him away, but Peter only pulls him in closer. Tony grins against his lips and brings a hand up to cradle the back of Peter’s head, kissing him slowly, deeply.

“We should- we should be more careful,” Peter says, pushing Tony back a bit but not letting him go.

“I had FRIDAY take care of the security cameras,” Tony says with a half-smile. “Don’t worry, you’re not going to ruin my reputation, Mr. Parker.”

Peter gives a small laugh, but it’s strained. Tony feels him tremble a bit and with an internal groan he takes a small step back, grabbing Peter’s hand in his before it falls from his jacket. “You alright?” he whispers and runs his other hand gently through the younger man’s hair.

Peter nods and blinks vigorously, not meeting Tony’s eyes. He laughs and shakes his head. “I’m fine. It’s just…  Is this really happening? I can’t- I can’t…” Peter trails off, vaguely gesturing at everything around him.

Tony smiles softly. “I should be the one asking that,” he says quietly, pulling him close again. “This is really happening,” Tony murmurs, kissing Peter’s temple, his cheek, his lips. “This is real.”

Peter laughs again, but it dissolves into a sob. “Are you sure?” he says, voice small. “I can’t go through that. Not- n-not again.”

“Pete?” Tony tries to pull away, but Peter won’t let go.  “We need- we need to talk,” Peter says, voice shaking. “I… I have to tell you what hap-”

Thunder rolls, and if its Thor coming to interrupt the moment Peter _finally_ decides to open up to him Tony is going to-

“We must act now,” Thor announces, Strombreaker at the ready.

Peter pushes Tony away and activates his suit. Tony does the same but not without shooting Thor a glare first. He looks pointedly at the broken concrete and smashed flower pot at his feet, and then back to his face. “This better be important or I’m forwarding you that bill,” he says.

“Loki sensed a source of great power headed this way,” Thor says, ignoring Tony. “Ready yourselves.”

Peter and Tony look down at their suits, then to each other, then to Thor. “Dude, we are,” Peter says, any residual emotion hidden behind the Iron-Spider armor and his sarcasm.  

Thor folds his arms over his chest. “I liked you better when you were pinning for Stark from afar. You were less… cheeky.”

“Wait, hold on, you told _Thor_ but I can’t tell Pepper?” Tony says.

“That’s different!” Peter says.

“How is it different!?”

“Oh, good, everyone’s here,” Stephen says from the doorway. Tony swears he sees the Cloak of Levitation give Peter a small wave. “Can we talk about your love life later? I’d like to deal with whatever is on its way here now and get back to my fiancée.”

“I don’t know if I should be flattered you’ve apparently told everyone at Avenger’s Academy about your huge crush on me or offended that you won’t let _me_ tell anyone.” A pause. “It’s both. In case you’re wondering.”

“Oh, my god, Tony, can we talk about this late-”

“Get down!” Iron Man throws Spider-Man behind him and shoots a sequence of repulsor blasts at the sky as a winged figure appears, unscathed.

“Long time no see, Stark,” Adrian Toomes says. “Parker, nice upgrade. Still Tony’s pet apprentice, I see.”

By now Spider-Man has scaled up the wall of the building to get closer to The Vulture. He makes a show of examining Toomes from head to toe and scratches at his chin. “Please tell me you’re not a zombie,” Spider-Man says. “Weren’t you on a bus that crashed? Mason’s not making weapons _and_ zombies, is he?”

Toomes lets out a laugh. “Still a mouthy little shit, huh? I never died. Shouldn’t believe everything the news tells you, kid.”

“Spider-Man, get down here _right now_ ,” Iron Man says over the comm. “That’s an order.”

Spider-Man ignores him. “Thor, your ten o’clock,” he yells just in time for the God of Thunder to deflect a missile headed for him. He strikes it with Stormbreaker and Stephen opens a portal to absorb it.

Spider-Man shoots webbing at The Vulture, probably intent on locking up his flight mechanisms, but Toomes dodges and more missiles rain down from all angles. Iron Man growls and takes flight; he’s got to get Toomes away from the city. If he can get him in open space they’ll have this taken care of in seconds. But in Midtown there are just too many variables. Thor can’t help the damage his attacks do and Dr. Strange can’t focus on attacking when he’s being forced to defend them all.

Iron Man rushes him, determined to push him back before continuing to engage him, but more missiles keep coming for them and it’s getting to be too much for Stephen and Thor to handle alone. Toomes must be controlling another weapon remotely. Or he’s not alone.

“FRIDAY, talk to me, why aren’t we picking up on these missiles?” he asks.

“I’m not sure, sir. My systems cannot detect them. I’m sorry.”

“Guess we’re doing this the old-fashioned way,” he says. He chances a glance to Spider-Man, who’s taunting The Vulture with verbal barbs and continuing to jump out of harms way at the last moment. It’s all a distraction though; Tony spots a tiny Spider drone approaching Toomes from behind, completely unnoticed.

Iron Man takes a deep breath; Peter can handle this, he’s certain of it. He turns his attention back to the sky and searches for the source of the projectiles, flying higher, but he can’t find anything. He looks back down to assess the others and sees The Vulture heading straight toward Spider-Man.

Tony flies as quickly as he can to put himself in between Peter and Toomes, but he knows he’s not going to make it; there’s too much distance between them. Toomes must have known Tony would try to find the source of the missiles and counted on that fact to effectively separate them and he _fucking_ fell for it.

“I suppose I should have arrived sooner,” an amused voice calls from one of the benches in the garden. It’s Loki. He waves a hand gracefully and Toomes goes flying backward. A second later, his wings power down and collapse.

Spider-Man punches the air. “Heck yes, it worked!” he says as the Spider Drone heads back toward him. Tony never thought he’d say this, but he’s glad Scott Lang was able to inspire Peter.

“Are you blind, little Spider?” Loki snaps. “If I hadn’t stepped in your silly trick wouldn’t have worked fast enough and you’d be squashed like the tiny insignificant speck you are.”

“Um, thanks, I think?” Peter says.

…It must be a day for firsts, because Tony’s apparently grateful to fucking _Loki_ of all people, now. Awesome.

Toomes groans and tries to stand up but Thor kicks him down, knocking him out. “I’m glad you decided to join us, brother!” Thor calls, smiling. Loki rolls his eyes and casts another spell, causing The Vulture’s mechanical wings to crumble to nothing.

Dr. Strange approaches Loki, cautiously. “What are you doing here?” he asks.

Loki tilts his head to the side and gives Stephen a look. “Are you serious, _wizard_? I just saved you all.”

“You know something,” Stephen presses. “What are you hiding?”

Loki sighs dramatically and flicks his wrist at Toomes. A small orange shard appears from the front pocket of his jacket. It glows and flickers, seeming to disappear and reappear every so often.

“While you all have been braiding each other’s hair, _I’ve_ been doing your job for you. I was going to take care of everything sooner but this imbecile,” he nods toward Toomes, “decided to break his alliance with The Tinkerer and took a certain something with him.”

Loki beckons for the small shard to approach him.

“What is that?” Tony asks, instinctively putting himself between Loki and Peter.

The God of Mischief smirks, his eyes glittering deviously. “Why don’t you find out for yourself, Stark?” he asks and sends the shard toward him.

Peter instantly pulls Tony behind him, grabbing it before he can.

-

Tony wakes with a start and sits up in bed. “Fuck, what a nightmare,” he says and gets up, walking toward his balcony. It must be the middle of the night; the only thing he can see are the stars. He opens the door and steps onto the thick branch of a pine.

“What the fuck!” he shouts as he almost falls, before he remembers he’s wearing his Iron Man armor. He flies a little higher to get his bearings; he’s surrounded by trees. It looks like the grounds on the compound, but there’s far too many trees here.

“Guess I’m still sleeping,” he says as he lands on the forest floor. “This dream sure as shit beats the last,” he mutters. He hears something and turns around and he’s on his balcony again.

No, that’s not right.

He narrows his eyes and looks around. This is the balcony at his old penthouse in Midtown Manhattan. A strange feeling settles in his stomach; he hasn’t thought about Stark Tower in ages. Why is he dreaming about it now? He looks inside and sees a party going on. Pepper is there, chatting with Rhodey, and Steve stands with Natasha and Bruce, laughing at something one of them just said.

A voice catches his attention. “Pete? Did I break you? You ok?”

It’s him, talking to Peter on the balcony. This is officially the weirdest night ever; he’s never watched himself in a dream before. But there he sits, looking out over the city with Peter. He can’t help but smile and hope he remembers this when he wakes up.

Dream Peter laughs and shakes his head. “No, no I’m fine. It’s just… Are we… is this really happening?” he asks, vaguely gesturing at everything around him.

Dream Tony smiles softly. “I should be the one asking that,” he says quietly as he reaches for Peter’s hand, pulling him close. “This is really happening,” he murmurs, kissing Dream Peter’s temple, his cheek, his lips. “This is real.”

“Oh, come on, can’t I have a sex dream or something?” Tony quips quietly but he’s smiling, watching Peter smile at him.

Another voice catches his attention and he turns to face it.

“Pete? Did I break you? You ok?”

It’s him, again. What the fuck kind of dream is this?

Dream Peter laughs and shakes his head. “No, no I’m fine-”

Tony turns back to see if the other Tony and Peter are still there but now he’s sitting in the armchair of a tiny living room he’s never been in before, although it does seem familiar.

“Do you need anything, hun?” a woman says. Tony instantly recognizes her- it’s a younger Aunt May. A boy, no older than six, sits at the kitchen table and quietly shakes his head no. He must be Peter.

“Okay, well, just let me know if you need anything, okay? I can make you some wheatcakes, if you want?”

At that, Peter perks up. “Yeah,” he says.

She pushes her glasses up and grins and he smiles back. “Can we make some for Uncle Ben, too?” he asks.

“Of course!” she says. “Do you need anything, hun?”

Peter shakes his head no.

“Okay, well, just let me know if you need anything, okay? I can make you some wheatcakes, if you want?”

“What the fuck is going on?” Tony says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tech Toomes was using is the crazy shit Mason created in his Soul World. I hinted at it with how Tony couldn't detect it but it was a little hard to fit all the info in naturally, so I wanted to touch on that here in case y'all were like, um, they would all wipe the floor with Toomes, lol.
> 
> Also, Tom Holland has actually worn the suit I mentioned. Google it. That man is fine AF. 
> 
> NB: The next 2 chapters will be the last chapters from Tony's POV, then we're going back to Peter's POV. I know a lot of questions haven't been answered yet, but we're getting there. :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did y'all want a bunch of confusion and like, 3 sentences worth of porn? Because that's what this is.

So far, this moment between Aunt May and Peter has played on loop like some strangely wholesome yet extremely terrifying horror movie. By the fourth time Aunt May offers to make wheatcakes, Tony loses it and yells at them to make the fucking things already, but they neither see nor hear him. He takes a good look around the room, trying to avoid the scene that keeps playing and replaying, and realizes that he _does_ recognize the place. It’s just that the furniture has been rearranged, and some of the photographs are different. At least he thinks. He can’t really tell what they look like, only that he knows that’s not what May has out at home _now_.

Why does he know this? Why is he even thinking about this?

He opens the face plate of his suit and walks around, trying to take a closer look at the apartment. He picks up a picture frame and looks at the photo, but it’s out of focus. And the harder he tries to make out the image, the more distorted it becomes.

“Well, this is terrifying,” he says matter-of-factly, nodding to himself.

He takes a look at the front door of the apartment and finds that now he's in a warm, dimly lit room. He can’t really make anything out, but it feels calm and safe and he knows he’s home. This is _home_.

“I love you, Peter,” a quiet voice says, just next to his ear. She places her hand on his cheek and he turns his face into the touch. He tries to see her face, he knows she’s right there, but he can’t- he can’t see her anymore. She’s faded and out of focus. He knows he _used_ to know what she looked like right at this moment but he can’t remember anymore. All he has left are the photographs. Why, _why_ did he have to forget what she looked like, what she really looked like?

“I love you, Peter,” she whispers, and Tony finally remembers once more that he’s in a dream, and he makes himself close his eyes and turn away, trying to ignore the dull ache in his chest.

Absolutely nothing gets past the combined forces of Happy and FRIDAY. He knows Peter’s past; he knows the loneliness and the loss the young man has endured. But he’s known this since the kid was, well, an actual kid, and he’s never dreamed about it before. So why now, after all this time? Why is he dreaming about Peter’s childhood, and why does it feel so real?

~~Thoughts of his own mother surface and~~

Tony clears his throat and opens his eyes, willing himself to wake up. It doesn’t work, but at least the dream has shifted to something lighter. He smiles as he watches himself flirt with Peter in his room back at the compound. He can’t help the feeling of fondness that washes over him as he watches Peter get flustered.

“Shooting a porno at the compound?” The other Tony grins. “Don’t tell Rogers.”

“It’s just a vlog!” Peter says defensively. God, he’s gorgeous.

The other Tony laughs. “Whatever you say, Spider-Boy.” He waves goodbye and Tony thinks this is where the moment will repeat itself, but it doesn’t.

As soon as the door shuts Peter collapses into his chair. “Oh my god,” he says.

“What’s wrong?” Ned asks.

“Tony knows I’m a complete weirdo now. Why did I have to put up those pictures? _Why_.”

“Well, it didn’t seem to bother him,” Ned says and shrugs. “I mean, he was still flirting with you.”

“Damn right I was, Ned,” Tony says with a firm nod and a winning smile.

“You think he was flirting?!” Peter asks, suddenly perking up, and Tony’s heart surges at the thought of Peter being this crazy about him in real life.

“Oh my god, Peter. You are the dumbest smart person ever.”

“He really is, isn’t he?” Tony sighs with a 'but what can you do?' shrug.

Peter suddenly rushes toward the door and for a moment Tony thinks they’ll collide, but Peter passes through him like a ghost. And then the moment begins again.

Tony watches it play out and remembers that this is the night Peter had seen him kissing Powell. Well, if we’re splitting hairs, he had technically seen him kissing Loki _pretending_ to be-

Loki.

Everything comes back to Tony at once and he feels sick. He drops to his knees and breaks into a cold sweat, gasping for breath. The last thing he remembers is Loki throwing something at him and Peter jumping in front to intercept like the selfless wonderful idiot he is. Fuck. What the hell is he doing, he’s got to find-

Now he’s at the coffee shop Peter favors. The one he goes to with his friends. The one where he meets his support group. The one they exchanged numbers at.

“Okay, if we can just stick to a location, _thank you_ ,” he mutters darkly.

Tony blinks a few times and looks up. He sees himself sitting at a table behind Peter. He can’t really make himself out clearly, but he still feels… almost hyper aware of his own presence, in a way. He watches as Peter squirms with the urge to turn around and look at him- the other him.

Suddenly, it feels as if a rush of someone else’s thoughts and feelings are coursing through him.

Peter is trying so hard to think of a non-awkward excuse to leave the table and go up to Tony, but he can’t work up the courage. No matter how badly he wants to _finally_ tell Tony what happened and see if they can just start over- Oh, _fuck_. Tony’s leaving now!

Peter stands up and runs out the door and just like that Peter’s thoughts seem to leave Tony and-

This doesn’t feel like a dream. This is- he can fucking _hear_ Peter’s thoughts. Either he’s going crazy, or- “Your vitals indicate an impending panic attack. Try to regulate your breathing, sir,” FRIDAY says softly.

Tony gasps a few times and lets out a strangled laugh, still kneeling on the ground. “Nice- nice of you to finally announce yourself, FRIDAY,” he says after a moment.   

This isn’t a dream. This isn’t a _fucking_ dream these are _memories_.

Peter’s memories.

Tony’s trying to stay calm but he’s about two seconds away from losing it. What the _fuck_ did Loki throw at them?

“FRIDAY, where’s Peter?”

“He’s nearby, but I can’t get an exact location. I’m sorry, sir.”

FRIDAY couldn’t detect The Vulture’s missiles, either.

“Ugh, please tell me this isn’t some weird Soul World tech,” he groans. “Can you give me _anything_ FRIDAY?”

“I am detecting a signature similar to that of the Infinity Stones, but it’s different.”

“Different how? And you didn’t think this was important to tell me _sooner_?”

“I apologize. I seem to b- -echni --culties, sir.”

“Oh, come _on_ this place is like BARF on bath salts! Don’t crap out on me right _now_ , FRIDAY. We’ve gotta find Peter!”

But her voice fades in and out until he can no longer hear her, and his surroundings change once more. He’s in Midtown Manhattan, at Avenger’s Tower. He stands behind Peter and himself, who are sitting in the common area together.

Tony frowns. This never happened; he’s sure of it. Peter and he never hung out at the Tower. With a cringe, he realizes that before Thanos, they didn’t really do _anything_ together that didn’t relate to their alter egos... Not unless Peter bugged him enough. He usually… had Happy deal with him for everything else.

That's a difficult truth to swallow.

“I thought we could see a movie tonight,” The other Tony says, breaking him from his thoughts. “Do you have class?”

“Just lab this afternoon,” Peter responds.

“Then I’m taking you out to dinner, too.”

Tony’s heart aches, wishing this was real. He watches as Peter blushes and feels the pleasure that tingles down the younger man’s spine as if it were his own.

“Just you wait, Peter Parker. I’m gonna date the _shit_ out of you when we get out of here,” Tony says. “Just gotta, you know. Find you. In this… where ever the hell we are." He smiles but it doesn't meet his eyes. "Should be a real cinch.”

“I’m- I’m gonna go study now,” Peter says and gets up so quickly he drops his bag and a few things fall out. Like a chemistry book and his ESU student identity card.  

Peter had gotten his biophysics degree in the Soul World... Fucking hell, is this a memory from the Soul Stone?

Tony is frozen in place as he watches Peter quickly pick up his things and scurry away from the other Tony. As he rushes by, Tony can hear Peter’s thoughts racing. They’re a mixture of hopeful anticipation, insecurity, and adoration.

Tony’s heart drops as everything starts to come together. He wants to run after Peter’s memory and tell him everything is going to be alright, but now isn’t the time to think about just how fucked up and unfair life works out to be. He’s got to find the real Peter, get them out of here, and beat the ever-loving shit out of Loki.

In that order.

He tears his eyes away from Peter’s retreating form, and just as Peter shows up on the couch again and the other Tony suggests a movie, the scene changes.

He’s standing in Peter’s bedroom at Avenger’s Tower. This must be another Soul World memory. Peter’s looking at his reflection, wondering if the suit he’s wearing looks alright, and something tells Tony this is the night of Peter’s twenty-first birthday.

“You look great, Pete,” Tony whispers softly, even though he knows Peter can’t hear him.

The other Tony appears at the doorway with a lazy grin on his face, not even bothering to hide his stare. “You coming down, kid?” he asks.

“Yeah, just give me a minute,” Peter responds. He’s too nervous to face the older man so he pretends to adjust his cuffs. The other Tony approaches him and reaches for his bow-tie, adjusting it a bit. “You clean up good, Spider-Boy,” he says quietly, sliding his hands to Peter’s shoulders. He can feel Peter’s heart swell the moment the other Tony squeezes them.

“You, t-too,” Peter says.

“Oh, he has got it _baaad_ ,” Tony gloats to himself.

A moment later the other Tony slides his hands down Peter’s arms and steps in closer. “Tell me I’m not reading this wrong,” he whispers. The same thing Peter had said to him the night at the park.

It suddenly occurs to him that somehow Peter _still_ wants to be with Tony- the real Tony- after getting to have the fantasy for so long. Tony isn’t sure if he wants to laugh hysterically or cry.

He turns his head to look back at them, but the room changes again. He’s back in his old workshop at Avenger’s Tower. AC/DC blasts over the speakers but it does absolutely nothing to drown out Peter’s voice.

“Fuck, _fuck_ , please,” Peter’s begging as Tony pushes into him. He’s got him pinned against the wall and Peter has one leg wrapped around Tony’s hips and the other slung over his shoulder. Arousal pools in the pit of Tony’s stomach and he bites his lip. _Damn_. He knew Peter was flexible, but this is just- _damn_.

He stares for a moment, clears his throat, stares a moment longer, and finally looks away. He’s a proud deviant through-and-through but this is a huge invasion of privacy. He’s got to find Peter and get the fuck out of here before-

“You like that, baby?” the other Tony mouths against Peter’s skin as he thrusts harder and Peter can only moan in response.

“Oh, come on!” Tony groans. “Are you _kidding_ me right now?” Every other time he’s looked away the memory has changed. Why isn’t it working now?!

“Pete?” the other Tony asks and this time his voice is softer, almost concerned, and Tony looks back to make sure everything is alright.

“What the _hell_ ,” he says as he looks around. Now they’re in his cabin in the mountains, in bed. They’re both shirtless, and Tony is trailing a hand up and down Peter’s side. Festive wrapping paper and two half empty mugs of cocoa lay on the floor in front of the fireplace; it must be the holidays.

“I guess I’m just… nervous,” Peter groans and pulls a pillow over his face. The watch on his wrist catches Tony’s eye. It’s the same watch he had given Peter before his interview. What are the chances?

Unless it was never chance.

Suddenly, the cabin disappears and all he can see is the vastness of the clear night sky. He’s lying on the stone floor of his balcony at the compound, like the night when he and Peter had been stargazing. He smiles softly, despite the situation.

“This is a good memory,” Tony whispers.

“Yeah, it is,” a soft voice says next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just to clarify, these are all random memories, some real, some sort of real, some from the Soul World. They're not in any sort of order. Tony was experiencing them from Peter's POV, which is why he knew what was going on/what Peter was thinking/feeling. I'm just not really sure about this chapter so I hope that made it make sense? Next chapter, they finally talk. It only took how many chapters? lol. Then it's back to Peter's POV one more time and then... Yep! We are approaching the end, y'all. I'm thinking there will be about 4 or 5 more chapters. :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Last Saturday, late morning**  

Satisfied with how they’ve decided to handle Mason, Tony takes Peter out for brunch at a small diner in a nearby neighborhood.  

 _“I missed you, I missed_ this _”_ plays over and over again in his mind like a mantra as he watches Peter smile at their waitress and place his order. He wants to ask Peter what he had meant last night, but he wants to  _not_  upset Peter  _more_ , so he doesn’t press the issue. 

He has a hypothesis, but it seems too cliché. Too easy. Too good for someone like him. And even if he  _is_  right, that doesn’t mean anything. Look what happened with Pep- Tony can ruin anything good. It’s actually sort of his thing. 

So, it’s best to not think too much and just appreciate the present moment. He’s about to say something flirtatious to distract himself from his fucking thoughts, but Peter speaks first. 

“Um… So…” Peter says, not making eye contact.  He grips his ceramic mug with both hands and Tony can clearly see the anxious tension the younger man is trying and failing to hide. “About last night-” 

Tony slowly straightens his back and tries to maintain a neutral expression.  

“-I don’t… I don’t regret it, at all, and I hope you don’t either,” Peter says in a rush. His voice is firm, but he’s staring a hole into his coffee cup. 

Tony’s heart stutters almost painfully and he lets out a shaky breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. 

When Tony doesn’t reply right away, Peter glances up nervously and their eyes meet for a moment.Peter may be older now, but he still looks at him like he hung the damn moon in the sky. The sincerity of his stare hits Tony like a punch in the gut and he has to look away.  

“Tony?” Peter says, and his voice is small and uncertain now. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he says  ~~sheepishly~~  softly. He blinks a few times, grateful his sunglasses are sparing him the embarrassment of being openly emotional in public.“You just surprised me, is all.” A pause. “But you don’t have to sweet talk me, Pete.” He grins, quickly regaining composure. “You’ve already won me over.”  

Peter rolls his eyes but he’s blushing and smiling and just like that, Tony’s grin turns into something soft and genuine.  

On the drive back to the compound, Tony decides to take a detour down a small road. 

“Where are we going?” Peter asks. 

“I feel like taking the long way back,” he replies with an easy shrug. 

“Do we have time before the meeting?” 

“I mean… They can’t exactly start without us. So... sure. Yes.” 

“... _Seriously_?” 

Tony waves a hand at Peter, shushing him, and turns down an unmarked road. “Ugh, you’re so responsible,” he grouses jokingly.  

“Oh, sorry for wanting to be on time to save the  _world_ ,” Peter says, crossing his arms over his chest with a huff, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips. 

Tony pulls over on the side of the road at the edge of the forest and laughs, harder than he has in a while. Peter blinks and stares at him. “...Tony?” 

“Nothing, kid. Nothing.” Tony shakes his head and smiles fondly. “It’s just... great to have you back,” he says, catching Peter’s gaze. “I missed this... I missed  _you_.” 

Peter gives him that  _look_  again and Tony vows to try his hardest to deserve it. 

- 

 _He’s lying on the_ _stone floor_ _of his balcony at the compound, like the night he and Peter had been stargazing. He smiles softly, despite the situation._  

 _“This is a good memory,” Tony whispers._  

 _“Yeah, it is,” a soft voice says next to him._  

“Holy  _shit_!” Tony nearly jumps up before he sees Peter sitting next to him, staring down at him. He’s still in his Iron-Spider armor but he’s disengaged the mask. Tony immediately sits up and reaches for Peter’s cheek. His hand touches warm flesh and he shuts his eyes for a moment, sighing in relief.  

“Thank god you’re okay-”   
“I thought I’d never fi…” 

They try to speak at the same time and Tony’s voice trails off when he notices that Peter’s been crying. 

“Peter…?” 

“I’m sorry, I’m- I’m so  _sorry_ ,” Peter whimpers and throws his arms around Tony’s neck. “I had this awful feeling right before Loki\- I had to… I had to grab it before you did. I didn’t- I didn’t m-mean to drag you in  _with_  me, though.” Tony almost can’t make out what he’s saying around his sobs and shaky breaths.  

His first instinct is to grab Peter’s arms, sit him up, look him in the eye and tell him they’ve got to keep it together for now, but- Nine months of regret is enough to last a lifetime, Tony thinks. He wraps his arms around Peter, holding him close. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Tony whispers and presses a kiss to his temple. “I love being trapped in alternate dimensions with cute Spiderlings; it’s totally my thing.” 

Peter laughs a bit and hugs him closer. 

A thought suddenly occurs to Tony; it pierces his heart and tugs like a grappling hook- He’s got to tell Peter what he saw. 

Because if he doesn’t, then he’s treating Peter the exact same way that Rogers treated him. Withholding information just to keep the status quo would only serve himself. He can’t… He won’t do that to Peter. Even if it will most likely mean taking about fifty steps back on the progress they’ve made. But the fact is, Peter isn’t ready to share any of this with Tony yet, and to have it all ripped from his mind against his will and without his knowledge… Tony won’t blame Peter if he reacts poorly, no matter how much he hopes his reassurance will be enough to keep the other man from drawing into himself again.  

Another moment of silence passes and Tony cracks a joke, trying to pretend everything is alright. "So, the Soul Stone seems nice this time of year," he says, looking up at the night sky. Peter stiffens for a moment before pulling away from the embrace. He moves into a crouch, suddenly in Mission Mode. “There's... there's no way this is the real Soul Stone,” he says before Tony can think of a good way to tell him that he’s just seen some of Peter’s most intimate thoughts and memories. “It feels similar, but it’s not exactly concerned with being realistic,” Peter says and holds out his hand. An energy drink appears in it. 

Tony’s thoughts are momentarily derailed by this new information. 

“This is how Mason made undetectable weapons,” Tony mutters, thinking out loud. Peter nods. “He’s been thinking up shit and reverse engineering it in the real world… Because of  _course_ he has.” Tony glances to the can Peter is still holding. “How did you figure this out?” he asks. 

Peter blushes and looks down, smiling awkwardly. 

“You didn’t wake up at first… I thought, maybe I needed a defibrillator or something? And I… well…” Peter sheepishly looks off to his left and Tony follows his gaze. “It just sort-of... appeared?” Tony's eyes widen as he sees various types of medical equipment sitting on the balcony, as well as a megaphone and... a gong. 

Tony looks to the gong, then back to Peter. “The defibrillator I get, but walk me through this one,” Tony says, eyebrow raised. 

“I panicked, okay!?” Peter nearly shouts. “You were unresponsive for like five minutes and Karen keeps going in and out!” 

“I’m sorry,” Tony says softly. He doesn’t need to imagine how terrifying that must have been for Peter; he didn’t know how much longer his sanity was going to last if he hadn’t found Peter when he did. For a moment, he contemplates waiting to tell him the truth. They need to focus on getting back home and wouldn’t telling Peter right now just be a distraction? He doesn’t know how Peter will take it, and they need to stay focused. 

But Tony knows he’s just being a coward.  

“I don’t think we should try to go anywhere,” Peter says, “but maybe we can create something to get Karen back up and running. Is FRIDAY down, too?” 

Tony nods. “Pete-” 

“Okay, so let’s see what we can find in here and-” 

“Peter, I’ve got to-” 

“Hold that thought, I think I might already have something we can use,” Peter says, but before he can move to stand, Tony has him by the wrist. 

“I need to tell you something,” Tony says quietly. 

Peter furrows his brows. “What’s up?” 

Tony takes a deep breath. It’s now or never. 

“I know what happened in the Soul World."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a scene I wrote when I couldn't think of anything else to write last chapter (the writer's block has been killing me). It wouldn't have worked for the fic but I still think it's funny so I thought I'd share:  
> \----
> 
> “Is now really the time to be throwing a party?” 
> 
> “We can’t move until Nat files all the appropriate paperwork, Pete. Wakanda requested our assistance; Syria didn’t. And besides, I’m not putting my life on hold just because ‘The Tinkerer’ decided to open up shop. All over the fucking world. Because New York apparently isn’t good enough for him now. And what the hell kind of name is that, anyway? The Tinkerer. It’s somehow both incredibly creepy and ridiculous. Almost makes you wonder- Maybe he’s going to build you a functioning clock out of macaroni noodles. Maybe he’s going to murder you! Who knows?” 
> 
> “Wow, Tony. And people say I ramble. So, back to my original point...?” 
> 
> “Honestly, I forgot what we were talking about.” 
> 
> “The party, Tony. The yacht party?” 
> 
> “Oh, yeah!” 
> 
> “Soo... Does it have to be on a yacht.” 
> 
> “Yes. Yes, it does.” 
> 
> “...Okay... So, what are we celebrating?” 
> 
> “Stephen’s engagement. I’m such a good friend.” 
> 
> “You’re throwing him an engagement party on a yacht. Tonight. While we wait to ambush Mason?” 
> 
> “Technically, it’s a surprise engagement party on a yacht. Tonight.” 
> 
> “Oh, my god. Tony why.” 
> 
> “Don’t worry, Christine was absolutely thrilled when I offered to host their little soirée.” 
> 
> “Well, it’s been nice knowing you. Dr. Strange is going to strangle you with his cloak.” 
> 
> “Psh. No, he’s not.” 
> 
> \- 
> 
> “I’m going to strangle you with my cloak.” 
> 
> \-----
> 
> NB: Next chapter we'll be back to Peter's POV, starting with the evening Tony kissed 'Powell', lol.


	22. Chapter 22

 

Peter had agreed to meet MJ at the ESU library to help her with an assignment, but she has her head in her left hand and she’s staring off into the distance. They’ve only been working for ten minutes and she’s already over it. “You really suck at explaining this,” she says, taking out her sketchbook.

Peter rolls his eyes. “Then ask Ned to help you,” he grouses.

“No thanks; he’s worse.” She says without looking up.

“Look, if you’re not going to pay attention, I’m just gonna go,” Peter grumbles with a frown.

At that MJ glances up at him. “Sugar Daddy problems?” she asks.

“ _No_. And stop calling Tony that.”

“Dude, don’t even lie to me,” MJ says. “Ned text me.”

Peter slumps down in his chair. “Would it kill him to not tell everyone _everything_ ,” he mutters darkly.

“Probably.” She shrugs. “What happened?” A pause. “But give me the short version- You guys exhaust me.”

Peter glares but tells her about everything- from the evening he and Tony had spent on his balcony stargazing, to the texts and constant flirting, on down to last night when Tony had come by to ask him to hangout. The entire time he’s talking, MJ maintains an expression of complete and utter boredom.

“So, he came by to ask you to hangout last night. As in… he attempted to make plans with you,” she says flatly.

“Yeah. And I turned him down at first, but I changed my mind-”

“You mean Ned convinced you that you were being dumb,” she interrupts.

“ _…_ ”

MJ rolls her eyes and closes her sketchbook. “Oh, calm down. Look. Nobody tries to make plans with someone and then starts making out with someone else five seconds later. Did he say anything when you saw them?”

“I mean. He- he tried to stop me fr-from leaving…?” Peter says with a small voice.

“What did he say?” she presses.

“He said we needed to talk,” he mumbles.

“Anything else?”

Peter picks at his thumb, not making eye contact. “Well, um, a-and then h-he said it- it wasn’t w-what it looked like…?”

“Oh my _god_. You really are the dumbest smart person ever,” she says with a laugh. “This is some simple shit, Peter. Sexy office lady is clearly trying to steal your man and you just left him with her. Good job.”

“I don’t know, they’ve flirted before…” Peter says.

“I’m pretty sure Stark would flirt with a lamp if he ever felt like it.”

Peter thinks about Tony’s ridiculously adorable attachment to his bots and finds that he can’t really argue with that.

“Pete, why would he invite you to dinner if he already had plans? Think about it,” she says.

-

Peter spends the next afternoon with May. She’s got the day off and they’ve spent most of it snacking and binge-watching shows on Netflix. He still hasn’t spoken to Tony and the more time that passes the more uncertain he becomes.

He wants to believe MJ and, honestly, she made a good point. But… if it was just a misunderstanding, why hasn’t Tony tried to get in touch with him? They live in the same building for crying out loud. Granted, Peter did a pretty good job of shutting down the conversation the night it happened, so… maybe Tony thinks _he_ doesn’t want to talk to him?

Ugh. Peter has no idea what to do.

“What’s on your mind, sweetie?” May asks, squeezing his knee.

Ha. There is no way he can talk to May about this. To quote her, Tony is, “selfish, immature, rash, and dangerous”. Peter is certain her opinion is clouded by fear, and he hopes that in time she’ll come around, but for now it’s probably best to not talk to her about this particular subject.

So, he just smiles and places his hand on top of hers. “I’m okay, Aunt May,” he says, leaning into her.

-

Peter doesn’t even get the chance to knock, the door to 177A Bleecker Street simply opens when he arrives.

“Dr. Strange?” Peter calls.

“Oh, it’s you. What a surprise,” Stephen says from the stairs, not the least bit surprised. “What do you need this time?”

Peter opens his mouth and then shuts it, looking lost. Stephen raises a brow.

“Ugh, I don’t even know,” Peter says, throwing himself in one of the chairs to the left of the staircase.

“Sure, yes, have a seat,” Stephen sighs and walks down to meet him. “Since you’ve stopped by, here.”

An ivory envelope appears in Peter’s lap and he opens it. It’s an invitation to Stephen and Christine’s engagement party.

Peter can’t help but smile and jump up. “Oh my god, congratulations!” he says, forcing an overly zealous handshake on the taller man. Stephen takes his hand back a bit quickly, but it’s impossible to miss the smile in his eyes.

“So, what did you need?” Stephen says again, voice decidedly softer this time.

“Um, n-nothing, I guess…” Peter says quietly, running a finger over the invitation. A small, hopeful smile forms on his face.

-

The last thing Peter had been expecting when he got home from Stephen’s was to see Tony looking like a damn snack in his fitted suit, knocking at his door wanting to discuss their next mission. With him. Privately. He is completely taken aback, and he never quite recovers.

“I’ll let you know when I locate him,” Tony says as he heads for the door once they’ve finished talking about The Tinkerer.

“Alright,” Peter says. He knows he sounds awkward and he sure as hell knows he’s _being_ awkward, but he’s just not sure how to act right now. He’s felt nervous and overwhelmed since seeing the engagement party invitation and doesn’t know what to do with himself.

 “Thanks. Um, thanks for trusting me with this,” he mumbles, face warm.

Tony waves his hand, dismissing Peter’s thanks. “Toomes went after you and Mason was his guy, so. This is your fight, Pete. I’m just here to help,” he says with a fond smile.

Peter’s heart swells and suddenly something within his mind shifts and takes hold and solidifies, leaving him breathless and aching. He knows his blush is getting worse and he desperately wants to say something, wants to _finally_ put into words what he’s been too cowardly to address for ages-

But he takes too long to speak up, and Tony gives a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and takes his leave.  

Peter sits down on his bed and throws his head back on his pillow, wondering what the _fuck_ is wrong with him.

-

**Come to a party w me tonight**

**Where?**

**Idk, some frat house**

**Um. Okay then.**

**Word. Bring thor.**

**I mean he’s sort of rebuilding his civilization  
from the ground up, MJ... But I’ll mention it**

**Bring. Thor.**

**Why Michelle, is that a crush I detect?**

**What can I say, he sets my little girlish heart a-flutter.**  
***eye-roll emoji***  
**Just invite him**  
**I need him for doubles**

**Doubles? *tennis racket emoji***

**-_- No. Beer pong**

**I knew that…  
romantic first date, btw**

***middle finger emoji* *kiss face emoji***

-

Peter sits on the kitchen counter working on another vodka and coke, and watches as MJ and Thor take turns signing the beer pong table after winning the “tournament”. MJ draws a caricature of herself sticking her tongue out and flipping double birds. Thor takes his time writing out his name in the ancient Asgardian language and within minutes the photo of their victory is trending on Instagram. Thor doesn’t know what that means, but it pleases him greatly and he decides to teach his new Midgardian friends a few of his own favorite drinking games.

“And I’m over this,” MJ announces to Peter and heads to the front door. Peter hops off the counter, politely passes off a joint that someone hands to him by mistake, and follows her outside. He only stumbles twice on the entire room-and-a-half voyage.

“You’re pretty drunk,” MJ says as she takes a sip of her own beverage, finally away from Thor’s watchful eyes.

Peter nods. “Yeeeep,” he says flatly, popping the ‘p’.

“You haven’t talked to Stark yet, have you?” she deadpans, pulling out her phone.

“Nooope.” Peter laughs for a good minute, then abruptly stops and throws his head back against the wall they’re sitting against. “I’m so fucking pathetic, MJ,” he whisper-groans.

“You really are,” she agrees.

Peter sits up to tell her off, but the words die on his lips when he sees Tony approaching them. He stands up so quickly he sways. Dammit. Tony’s going to notice he’s not sober and- “Are you _drinking_?” Tony asks incredulously.

-

Peter can still taste Tony on his lips. He reluctantly lets go of his hands and watches Tony walk to the end of the road. He lingers for a moment before giving a half wave and engaging the Iron Man suit.

Peter watches him fly off until all he can see is a speck of light and wonders, for the second time that day, what the _fuck_ is wrong with him.

He glances back toward the party. Thor is there; MJ will be fine. He engages his Spider-Man suit and disappears with a _thwip_ , hoping he can catch up.

-

He’s about to shoot webbing at the side of the bank across the street when a voice over his comm nearly makes him jump.

“Where are you off to, Spider-Boy?”

Apparently, Peter doesn’t have to try too hard to catch up to Iron Man.

Peter lowers his arms and looks around the roof. A moment later Iron Man reveals himself and Spider-Man does jump this time, having forgotten Tony’s newest toy can hide itself from everything, including his Spidey senses.

Peter takes a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Y-you scared the shit o-out of me-”

Tony disengages his suit, walks towards him, and gently grabbing his arm. “Come on, kid.” His voice is low and rich. “You came all the way out here- Don’t back off again,” he whispers, standing in Peter’s personal space. There’s barely more than an inch between them now.

Peter can feel the heat from Tony’s body and he remembers what it had felt like to have the other man pressed up against him. Desire curls in his stomach.

Tony reaches up to take Spider-Man’s mask off, but Peter grabs his wrists and holds them firmly.

“W-we shouldn’t do that again,” he says quickly. “In public. I mean. W-we sh-shouldn’t. You know… In- in public... Again.” Peter’s floundering at this point, trying and failing to shut up.

Tony sighs dramatically but takes a step back as his suit rebuilds itself around him. “Fair enough,” he says with a grin. “Better take this back to our place then, huh?”

‘ _Our place_ ,’ Peter mentally repeats to himself as his stomach flip-flops. A big, stupid grin spreads over his face and he nods.

-

 Tony disengages his suit and Peter stares, wide-eyed, as he approaches him in one fluid motion.

“Where was I?” Tony asks, head tilted to the side. “Oh, yeah.” He grins and pulls Peter’s mask up over his head. A moment later and warm, rough hands are on his cheeks and in his hair and down his back and Peter is pulled in to a slow, deep kiss.

He makes a soft, almost painful sound deep in his throat and for a second he wants to die of embarrassment because honestly, it’s only been _one_ kiss, but Tony holds him closer, walking him back until Peter’s calves hit the sofa. He falls onto it and Peter pulls Tony with him, loving the feel of his broader, solid form covering his own.

Their kisses are needy and inelegant, all teeth and tongue and saliva, and Peter thinks Tony might swallow him whole.

He hopes he does.

“Let’s get you out of this,” Tony says, voice rough, as he sits up to tug at the Spider-Man costume. Peter returns the favor by pulling the older man’s shirt up and over his head and tugging his pants down. He bites his lip, running his eyes over the older man’s body. Fuck. Tony is _perfect_.

Tony catches Peter staring and winks. He pushes him back down on the couch and bites kisses down his neck and Peter can’t believe it took him this long to say something. He can’t believe he almost lost his nerve _again_ tonight.

He slides his hands down the bare skin of Tony’s back and grabs his ass, pulling their hips together. Tony moans and his beard tickles Peter’s chin as he grins into the kiss. “Eager, Mr. Parker?” Tony asks, rocking his hips slowly. They’re both hard and Peter’s heart jumps painfully. He hopes Tony can’t tell just how much he’s trembling. Just how much this is all affecting him.

When he doesn’t answer right away, Tony pulls back a bit to look at him. “Pete?” he asks quietly.

“S-sorry. I- I’m just… overwhelmed, I- I guess?” he says, voice cracking. He cringes and prays to any higher powers listening to just go ahead and strike him down. He is officially done and will probably never get laid now.

Overwhelmed?! Of _course_ he’s fucking overwhelmed. But he wasn’t supposed to say that _out loud_. Jesus. Tony’s going to think he’s a virgin or something now. Which, okay, he technically is… Sort of? But holy shit, now is _not_ the time to contemplate the validity of things that happened in the Soul Stone.

He chances a glance back at Tony who is just smiling down at him fondly.

“You back, Spidey?” Tony chuckles. “I could practically hear you thinking over here.”

Peter blushes and nods. “S-sorry, I just-”

“Don’t apologize,” Tony says, kissing his neck, his collarbone, his chest. “Just checking in. This alright?” he asks, hooking a finger over the band of Peter’s boxer briefs. Peter blushes but nods. Tony slides them down and sits back for a moment, just looking at him.

“ _Fuck_ , you’re gorgeous,” Tony says quietly. He leans forward and kisses Peter again and Peter pulls him down, hooking his foot over Tony’s thigh. In this new position, their cocks almost touch, separated only by the fabric of Tony’s boxer briefs. The renewed contact is faster, rougher, and leaves Peter gasping.

“You like that, baby?” Tony says next to Peter’s ear, rolling his hips again. Peter licks his lips and squirms, squeezing his eyes shut. All the sensations are becoming too much- too _good_. He tries to breathe but a whine almost escapes and he bites his bottom lip, refusing to lose his cool. Tony is so confident, so fucking _sexy_ ; he doesn’t want him to see how much of an awkward, quivering mess Peter is in comparison.

Tony stops moving and trails light kisses across his temple, his forehead. “Pete?”

Oh god, Tony touching him like this is too much but Tony not touching him is _unbearable_.

“Y-yes,” Peter manages to say without sounding completely wrecked after only making out for a whopping five minutes.

“Come on,” Tony says gently, “Let go, just let go. I’ve got you,” he breathes and moves against him again and Peter can’t help it, his lets out a soft moan.

“That’s it, baby,” Tony says, ripping his underwear down and kicking them to the floor. He rocks into Peter and Peter can finally feel Tony’s cock, thick and warm and heavy, slide against his own again and again and _again_ -

Tony reaches a hand down to grab Peter’s cock and Peter bucks against him, burrows his face in his neck, and comes all over his stomach with a muffled cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe more awkward porn in the next chapter. Um. *clears throat*


	23. Chapter 23

Peter wants to die of embarrassment (‘I’m just overwhelmed, I guess?’ is going to give his mind something to think about at three AM for the next for _ever_.) but Tony keeps distracting him, trailing kisses down his shoulder. They haven’t moved, and Tony is half lying on top of his back, arm still tucked around him, holding him close.

Tony’s cock, still half hard, twitches against his thigh and Peter feels a small flutter of desire once more. He sits up and knows Tony isn’t going to expect him to be this forward. For some reason that spurs him on, confidence blooming in his chest. Tony may have the benefit of real experience, but at this point, Peter is pretty sure he’s got a good idea of what the older man likes.

He catches Tony’s gaze and crawls off the bed, dropping to his knees. Tony sits up and looks like he’s about to say something, but Peter just pulls Tony forward, casually using his superior strength. Tony nearly yelps but manages to turn it into a manly cough at the last moment, throwing an arm behind himself to stay upright. Peter grins and places one hand on Tony’s thigh as he sucks on the fingers of his other hand.

“Is this alright, Mr. Stark?” Peter asks, licking his lips as he places his hand around Tony’s cock, stroking a wet thumb down the tip.

“Christ, kid, _you_ are more than alr-” Peter wraps his mouth around him and the words die on the older man’s lips.

Afterwards, Peter tries to figure out a casual way to mention the Soul World; it just feels wrong to do this with Tony and not finally tell him. But if there’s a non-awkward way to tell someone you were in a long term committed relationship with an imaginary version of them in an alternate reality, he hasn’t figured it out yet.

Peter worries over it until Tony falls asleep and it’s too late.

Tomorrow. He swears he’ll bring it up tomorrow.

-

It’s somewhere between midnight and the early hours of the morning. The birds aren’t even up, but Tony is. Peter reaches across the bed in the dark to clasp his hand.

“Where’re you going?” he asks quietly, voice rough from sleep. Peter thinks this would be awkward if the sun was up, but under the cover of night he still feels bold.

“Getting some things together for the mission,” Tony replies.

“Do you need help?” Peter asks, suddenly fully awake. “Let me help you, I can-”

Tony turns to face him; there’s just enough moonlight to see his smile. “Nah, Pete. You get some rest.”

Peter shakes his head. “If you’re working then so should I. Let me help.”

Tony looks like he wants to argue but he just shakes his head and sighs. “How are we going to survive if we’re _both_ workaholics?”

“Make coffee with redbull?” Peter suggests with a shrug.

Tony nods, throwing on a hoodie. “It couldn’t taste worse than chlorophyll. Or Dum-E’s coffee.”

Peter is about to ask _why_ Tony knows what chlorophyll tastes like, but Tony’s already kissing him again, a soft peck that still manages to make his heart stutter.

Tony turns at the doorway to give him a wink before he leaves. Peter laughs and grabs Tony’s pillow, burrowing his face in it and falling back on the bed like a teenager in love.

An hour or so later Peter wakes up, alert and ready to start the day. It’s nearly 5 AM anyway, so he gets up and goes to the gym. He sees Steve there, beating a punching bag to death. Peter still aches for Tony’s betrayed trust and he furrows his brows on instinct.

But deep down he knows that Rogers isn’t the only one to lack major foresight when it comes to protecting his loved ones and the part of him that can’t help but try to see the best in everyone won’t leave him be over this. Keeping Barnes’ secrets at the expense of Tony’s trust had been an unfair response on Rogers’ part, but it had been human one. Because if he’s being honest with himself... What would he do if he had to choose between telling Tony the truth and protecting Aunt May? Or what if it was the other way around? It’s an unusual situation, but their entire _lives_ are unusual. It’s hard not to understand Steve’s perspective.

But then he thinks about how Tony must have felt watching the footage of his parent’s murder as the truth slowly dawned on him and Peter turns around, opting to go for a run.

-

After discussing what to do about Mason, Tony takes Peter out for brunch. Peter knows Tony is a flashy person, and its honestly part of his charm, but showing up at a small family diner in a sports car wearing suits is drawing way too much attention for Peter. He now regrets wanting to impress Tony by dressing up and keeps tugging at his collar, uncomfortable. Because honestly, who the hell goes to a dive in a three-piece suit?!

Tony holds the door open for him and tips his shades down a bit. “You comin, kid?” he asks. Peter has to look away as his blush deepens.  

They sit in a back corner, and Peter can finally feel people starting to lose interest in them. “Um… So…” Peter says, not making eye contact.  He grips his ceramic mug with both hands, trying to calm down. Not for the first time that morning, he wishes he had worked up the nerve to bring this up in the car-ride, but he had spent the entire time trying to play it cool when Tony put a hand on his knee.

 “About last night-” he starts but notices that Tony’s body language is far less comfortable than he’s been letting on. For the first time he realizes that he might not be the only one who’s nervous and Peter’s shoulders relax ever so slightly. He takes a deep breath, working up the nerves to just spit it out.

“-I don’t… I don’t regret it, at all, and I hope you don’t either,” Peter says. His voice is firm, but he can’t look up from his cup of coffee. 

For a few moments Tony doesn’t say anything and Peter glances up, nervous. Their eyes meet and Tony stares at him with this huge, unreadable emotion simmering just under the surface. Even through the sunglasses Peter can see Tony blink a few times before quickly looking away.

“Tony?” Peter asks quietly, his gut twisting nervously.

“Sorry, sorry,” the older man says quietly, voice a bit tight. “You just surprised me, is all.” A pause. “But you don’t have to sweet talk me, Pete.” Suddenly he grins as if nothing happened. “You’ve already won me over,” he says, sliding a foot across the floor to rest against his.

Peter rolls his eyes but he’s blushing and smiling and just like that, Tony’s grin turns into something soft and genuine. Peter wonders if now would be a good time to bring up the Soul World, but Tony has picked up his phone, holding it at an angle.

Peter begins to narrow his eyes. “Wha- what are you doing?” he squeaks.

“Taking a selfie,” Tony says lightly. “Hashtag breakfast date. Hashtag with Spider-Man. Hashtag hashta-”

“Oh my god, don’t post that!” Peter gasps and reaches for Tony’s phone, but Tony had expected that, and he’s already dropped it in his lap by the time Peter practically flings himself across the table. Tony laughs. “I’m just messing with you,” he says with a wink.

-

They head back for the compound and Tony absentmindedly scans the stations. He stops on NPR for a moment; they’re playing an old interview with him and Rogers after the first time they saved New York as a team. Peter glances out of the corner of his eye and sees Tony’s jaw clench before changing the station again.

They sit in semi-awkward silence for a few moments and Peter’s mind wanders back to Rogers.

“Do you... Do you want to talk about it?” he blurts out quickly and tries not to grimace at how forced he sounds.

Tony huffs and shakes his head. “It’s old drama, Pete. I’m over it.”

“It doesn’t seem like it,” Peter says before he can think better of it. “Why- Why do you keep doing this to yourself?” he asks quietly, voice trailing off.

Tony glances at him for a moment. “Trying to break up the band again, Yoko?” he jokes but the strain in his voice is obvious.

It takes Peter a moment to catch the reference but then he presses his lips into a thin line, frustrated. “No, I’m just- I meant what I said before. They need you more than you need them. If you’re going to see the Avengers Initiative through, do it on- on _your_ terms, you know?”

They sit in silence for a while before Tony speaks up.

“I want to forgive him,” Tony says quietly. “ _God_ , he was-” Tony stops and takes a breath. “I owe a lot to Rogers. He’s picked my ass up off the floor more times than I can remember.” Tony taps his index finger on the leather of the steering wheel, lost in thought for a moment. “I just... I thought- Ah, _shit_. What am I doing.” He blinks a few times and purses his lips.

Peter's first instinct is to roll his eyes and think something really uncharitable about Steve Rogers, but then he remembers all the help and advice Dr. Strange and Thor have given him, and he sighs. Tony needs  _that_ , not Peter's biased pettiness. 

“Forgive him so you can let it go," he nearly whispers. "But you don’t owe anyone _anything_ ,” Peter says quickly, raising his voice. He shuts his mouth and looks out the window before he says too much ~~he’s already said too much~~ , but he can’t help himself. He looks at Tony again. “Just you… Just you being here- It’s enough, Tony,” Peter says. “ _You’re_ enough. You’re _more_ than enough.”  

-

Stephen stops by and tells Tony that he’s fixed the compound’s security system issues. Apparently, Loki had interfered with FRIDAY. But before Peter can ask what is going on, his phone vibrates. It’s a call from an unknown Malibu number.

Peter excuses himself and steps out to the industrial stairway outside the conference room to take the call.

“Hello?”

“Peter, hi. It’s so nice to speak with you. I’m sorry I haven’t called sooner!” It’s… Pepper Potts?

“M-Miss Potts?” he asks nervously. Why is she calling? Peter’s mind automatically assumes the worst and for a moment he thinks she must have found out about last night and then he wonders how she found out about last night and oh _god_ is he going to get fired before he even officially starts!? Peter takes a deep breath, trying to reign his thoughts back in. There’s no way Miss Potts knows about _that_. He needs to calm down.

“I wanted to talk with you about Tony,” she says, and suddenly Peter’s heart is in his throat.

“W-what’s up?” he asks, trying to play it cool. Just because she’s calling about Tony doesn’t mean anything.

…Right?

Pepper laughs good naturedly. “Peter, you don’t have to be so nervous. It’s okay.”

“I-I’m not-” he clears his throat. “I’m not n-nervous, Miss Potts.”    

“Okay. You’re not nervous,” she says, less as a concession and more as a way to move the conversation along. “Look, Peter, I know you and Tony are close. I don’t care so long as he’s happy.”

Peter almost drops the phone at that.

“Hello? Peter, are you still there?”

“Uh! Y-yes, sorry. Um. I just-” He narrows his eyes in disbelief. “You- you’re r-really okay with it?” he asks, voice high.

“Happy says Tony sounds great these days,” she says. “He’s still avoiding me, thinks I need space.” A sigh. “Can you… can you tell him to call me sometime?”

“Um, sure,” Peter says stiffly, wondering why Pepper has called him just to take a message for Tony; she’s more familiar with the other Avengers. Contacting Natasha or Bruce would have made more sense.

“I also need you to meet with legal soon; you’ve got to sign a few non-disclosures. Nothing crazy.”

Ah. So that’s why.

“Okay, yeah, I- um, no problem,” he says automatically, wondering why he’s so unfazed by Tony’s ex basically telling him there are legally binding ground rules for dating his boyfri-   

Peter turns scarlet at the thought and clears his throat, quickly walking down the stairs as if Tony can hear what he’s thinking if he stands too close to the conference room.

“And I really think it’s best if you hold off on making your relationship public,” she continues.  There’s a pause, as if Pepper isn’t sure how to proceed, and then, “Look, Peter, I’m coming to you with this because I don’t think Tony will listen to me. I trust you… I _do,_ and I don’t want to dampen your happiness, but the company doesn’t need any more drama right now and this- _your_ \- situation… Well, it’s a bit unprecedented. Do you… understand?”

Peter nods his head vigorously. “Y-yes, Miss Potts,” he says after a moment, when he realizes she can’t see him nodding. “We, um, we have actually already talked about that. I don’t want the world to know I’m Spider-Man and Tony is… Well, _Tony_ , so...”

Peter can practically hear her shoulders relax as she gives a small, relieved laugh. “Peter, I… _Thank_ you. I knew you were trustworthy, but-” She takes a breath to steady herself. “Just… Thank you.”

He scratches the back of his head; it’s always felt awkward to receive a compliment but it’s especially difficult to receive one for something he’d do regardless of the situation.

“Um, how did you… know about, um, us?” Peter asks after a moment, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Oh, I didn’t,” she says in an almost sing-song manner. “Natasha likes to keep me posted and we’ve been speculating- you just confirmed it.”   

-

There’s a knock at his door; it’s Tony. “Be my date for Stephanie’s hen party?” he asks, looking up towards the ceiling to find Peter crouched above his desk, working on something.

“You mean his engagement party?” Peter asks with a laugh. The UN hasn’t given Black Widow’s team permission to act in the Middle East yet and until then, they can’t attack any of Mason’s locations without risking the entire operation. And so, in the meantime, they are forced to wait.

Finally, Peter’s mind catches up to everything Tony just said. “W-wait,” he practically squeaks. “ _Date_?”

Tony raises a brow and shakes his head. “Oh, no. You’re not getting shy on me after last night,” he says with a smirk.

Peter’s face flushes and he looks up at the floor, to the left of Tony’s feet. “W-we agreed we w-weren’t going to be- to be public, though,” He says quickly, starting to panic. His mind instantly conjures all the ways this could go wrong and suddenly he’s thinking about gossip rags painting Tony as a predator, Stark Industries stocks plummeting, Aunt May being disappointed and crying, and the entire world knowing all of his secrets and he feels like he can’t breathe.

“Jesus, Pete, I can feel you thinking all the way down here,” Tony says. “It’s alright to still be _seen_ together,” he says with a small laugh. “And it’s a private event; the press won’t be there. Relax, kid.”

“…O-okay,” Peter says after a moment, relenting.

“You know, I’ve never been someone’s dirty little secret before, Mr. Parker.” Tony says, voice low. He steps toward the desk and crooks a finger at Peter. “I think I can work with that- if there’s perks.” There’s a smirk playing at his lips. “Get down here, Spider-Boy.”

Peter stays on the ceiling but stands up so that even though he’s upside-down, they’re face-to-face. He thinks now would be a good time to talk about everything, but he can’t stop staring at Tony’s mouth and before he can say anything, Tony kisses him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't say when the next update will be because I've gotten very busy (I've got 2 months left in yoga teacher training AND I got a job teaching yoga starting next month, eee!) But there is one more chapter, and, honestly just because I am having a hard time letting these two go, I have a short epilogue planned as well. I think I'll post that as a stand alone though because the next chapter will tie everything up. Anyway, thank y'all so much for reading! This story has lived in my head since I saw the movie and writing this, and chatting with y'all, has been more helpful than y'all will ever know, seriously. So thank y'all so much for reading and I hope everyone has a great day. xoxo


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: This chapter heavily references the last part of Everlong, but you don't have to read it to enjoy this chapter. :)

“W-we should- we should be m-more careful,” Peter says and pushes Tony away but refuses to let go of him. At this rate the entire world is going to find out by tomorrow and he knows more public attention is the last thing they need right now but… Finally being able to touch Tony like this- the _real_ Tony- it’s hard to control himself.

 Tony grins. “I had FRIDAY take care of the security cameras,” he says, voice low. “Don’t worry, you’re not going to ruin my reputation, Mr. Parker.”

Peter grins and laughs at Tony’s lame flirting, but a cold shiver runs down his spine and an ache so sharp and deep suddenly forms in his head and it’s all he can do to keep from crying out in pain. A wave of anxiety pierces him through the heart, traveling through his entire body like white hot static as he trembles. His vision blurs for a moment but he can still hear Tony talking to him.

_“It’s your day, be a little selfish. What’s on your wish list, kid? Fingers crossed I’m number one, but I’ll settle for top three.”_

He thinks he feels Tony holding his hand and blinks in confusion when his sight returns to normal. Was there always a garden up here? Weren’t they at Stark Tower? He just stepped out to get some fresh air, his birthday party was-

_“No, that’s a lie. I have to be number one.”_

_“Who says you’re on my wish list at all?”_

No. That’s… This is a memory. This happened in the Soul World. They’re not- He blinks again when he feels Tony brushing his fingers through his hair. Peter can hear him talking, but the words don’t match his lips, like a bad dub of one of those old films May likes to watch.

_“Pete? Did I break you? You ok?”_

Peter knows he’s just having a flashback, but it feels so real. He looks down, embarrassed and feeling half crazy. The last time this happened- when Tony had bought him that watch- he had been able to leave and fall apart in private. But he doesn’t feel right leaving everyone to fend for themselves with Mason still at large. He doesn’t care how off he feels- His pledge to protect always comes first. He’s got to suck it up. Everyone needs him. _Tony_ needs him.  

“I’m fine,” he says, trying to keep it together. He isn’t crazy. He _isn’t_. He just very clearly still has some issues he should probably see a professional about. Eventually.

“It’s just…” He shakes his head to try and clear his thoughts, but he can’t shake the headache or the sudden, persistent déjà vu.

…Or the feeling that something is about to happen. Something awful.

“Is this really happening?” Peter whispers to himself, angry and desperate. “I can’t- I can’t…” he trails off, vaguely gesturing at everything around him, losing himself to the memory again.

_“I should be the one asking that.” Tony murmurs. “This is really happening,” he says, kissing Peter’s temple, his cheek, his lips. “This is real.”_

Peter laughs again, but it dissolves into a sob. “Are you sure?” he asks quietly, finally back in the present for a moment. “I can’t go through that. Not- n-not again.”

“Pete?” Tony says, and Peter finally snaps out of it. Tony tries to pull away, but Peter won’t let go. His Spidey Senses are trying to tell him something, but his mind keeps trying to short-circuit on him. Again.  “We need- we need to talk,” Peter says when he finally can, voice shaking. “I… I have t-to tell you wh-what hap-”

Thunder rolls and Thor appears. “We must act now.”

Suddenly Peter’s mind feels clear again, as if some spell placed on him moments ago has been lifted, and he engages the Iron-Spider suit.

-

Peter is certain he’s disabled Toomes’ wings with Droney, but before he can be sure-

“I suppose I should have arrived sooner,” an amused voice calls from the garden; it’s Loki. The Vulture goes flying back with a simple flick of Loki’s wrist and Peter can’t help but stare, impressed. He’s about to tell Loki how awesome that move was when Toomes’ wings practically fall apart.

Spider-Man punches the air, pleased his idea worked. He can’t wait to thank Scott for the inspiration! “Heck yes, it worked!” he shouts, then mentally kicks himself for saying ‘heck yes’ like a twelve-year-old.

“Are you blind, little Spider?” Loki snaps. “If I hadn’t stepped in your silly trick wouldn’t have worked fast enough and you’d be squashed like the tiny insignificant speck you are.”

“Um, thanks, I think?” Spider-Man says with a frown.

Toomes groans and tries to stand up but Thor kicks him down, knocking him out. “I’m glad you decided to join us, brother!” Thor calls, wearing the largest smile Peter has ever seen. Loki rolls his eyes and casts another spell, causing The Vulture’s mechanical wings to crumble to nothing, and Peter can’t help but smile. There’s something about Loki that reminds him of Tony. Even though he’s an ass, he’s loyal. Peter’s glad Thor has a brother like him.

“What are you doing here?” Dr. Strange demands suspiciously, stalking toward Loki.

The God of Mischief tilts his head to the side and regards Stephen like a cat would a roach. “Are you serious, wizard? I just saved you all.”

Peter makes his way toward them, frowning again. Loki might be a jerk, but he’s right- he _did_ just save them. Peter is about to say just that when Dr. Strange speaks again.

“You know something,” Stephen presses. “What are you hiding?”

Loki sighs, almost tired, and flicks his wrist at Toomes. A small orange shard appears from the front pocket of his jacket and suddenly Peter’s senses go haywire again and he feels completely overloaded. It’s all just too much- his vision seems to go in and out, there’s ringing in his ears, and he thinks he might throw up. Peter hears Loki say something, but he can’t understand him.

“What is that?” he’s able to make out Tony’s voice. It sounds muffled and far away, but Peter reaches out and feels the metal of the Iron Man suit. He’s shaking, but still able to pull Tony behind him. Peter throws an arm up on instinct and catches something- _the shard_ , he finally remembers- in his hand.

-

Peter opens his eyes and sees the night sky. He’s lying on his back and for a moment he thinks he’s at the compound with Tony only the forest is too quiet, the moon is nowhere to be seen, and the constellations aren’t where they should be. And when he looks closer, the farther away he gazes the less detailed his surroundings become. He turns back to look at the entryway to the balcony, but he can’t seem to concentrate on it. It’s like he’s in a photograph and everything else is simply out of focus. Peter looks down and sees he’s still wearing his Iron-Spider suit and a feeling of complete unease begins to rise in his belly. He frowns and sits up.

Iron Man lies beside him, motionless.

“Karen. K-Karen,” he whispers, reaching for Tony’s faceplate to deactivate it. It trickles away, folding in on itself to reveal the face of its creator. He’s unconscious but breathing. “Give me Tony’s vitals,” Peter says quickly, trying to stay calm. A million different thoughts race through his mind and none of them are good.

“ _Mr. Stark seems t—  -er –a--- pulse ra-- i- t- t- respir--_ ,” Karen tries to answer but her voice is going in and out so much he can’t understand her.

“No, no, _no_ , come on Karen,” he says desperately. “Please, I need your help!”

This time, he hears faint static. Then nothing.

“Where are we?” he tries one more time, voice tight. “Karen, can you give me coordinates?”

“ _I- -orry, -- can---._ ”

Peter opens and closes his fists, trying to stay calm, but he can’t stand not knowing what’s going on and this feeling of unease is only growing stronger, threatening to crawl up his throat and suffocate him.

He can’t help the tears that escape his eyes and he swipes at them angrily, taking a shaky breath. Peter feels so lost, but he _refuses_ to have a break down right now. It’s his duty to get Tony out of here and his duty always comes first. Always.

His heart drops to his stomach when he finally remembers what’s going on. He remembers fighting and a flash of orange and the overwhelming need to protect. He remembers throwing Tony behind him, trying to stop whatever Loki had thrown at him. What… What has Loki done? And _why_? He sits down next to Tony and just stares at him as he tries to think. What if this was a set up and Loki hurt him on purpose? He shakes his head at the thought. No, Thor knows his brother and he trusts Thor’s judgement. Loki didn’t cause this. Or at least… He doesn’t think Tony being hurt was part of the deal if he _did_ cause it… Right…?

His blood runs cold as his mind supplies him with a laundry list of all the things that could happen to Tony. What if he’s bleeding internally? What if he has a concussion? What if he stops breathing? What if his heart stops and he needs a defibrillator and Peter can’t get him one because they’re completely lost/maybe not even on Earth right now? Fuck. But would that even work on Tony anyway? Probably not, but still.

Peter knows it’s stupid, but right now he wishes he had one all the same.

Suddenly something catches his eye. It’s a… defibrillator? He furrows his brows and looks around. That hadn’t been there a second ago. But now, there it sits. He narrows his eyes as he forms a tentative hypothesis. Peter thinks of a few other things he might need, anything that could maybe be of use, and one by one, they all appear on the balcony.

He tries to blink back fresh tears as he thinks about how much he needs Tony to be okay and wake up.

And then he looks down and thinks, ‘Please, _please_ wake up’, and Tony does. But his gaze is just past Peter, up at the stars. A half-smile plays at his lips and there’s a soft fondness in his eyes.

“This is a good memory,” Tony whispers, and Peter can’t help himself. He smiles- so, _so_ relieved. “Yeah, it is,” he answers softly, absentmindedly, just happy to have Tony back.

“Holy _shit_!” Tony whisper-shrieks when he fully comes to his senses, sitting up instantly.

And for a second he just… looks at Peter. Like he’s seeing him for the first time. Like he thought he would _never_ see him ever again and he almost can’t believe his eyes. Tony looks at him… like he had the day he’d finally returned from the Soul Stone- desperate but tentatively hopeful. ~~Too bad Peter had only made it worse afterwards.~~   

A moment later and Tony’s reaching a hand out as if to make sure it really is Peter, and when he touches his cheek, Peter can feel the utter relief in his sigh and see the fear and tension melt from his face as he closes his eyes.

“I thought I’d never fi…”   
“Thank god you’re okay-” 

Peter sucks in a breath when he realizes he’s interrupting, but Tony’s voice has already trailed off, having noticed Peter’s distress.

“Peter?” he says quietly, stroking his cheek. Peter can’t help it; he throws his arms around Tony’s neck and cries, trying to apologize. Tony just reassures him and kisses his temple and holds him close.

-

"So, the Soul Stone seems nice this time of year," Tony says after a while. His voice is amused but the words hit Peter like a ton of bricks.

He stiffens and pulls away from Tony’s chest, suddenly feeling insecure, exposed. His panicking mind thinks about the orange shard and Loki and the strange dimension they seem to be in where apparently most anything is possible and has to concede to the similarities. His growing sense of anxiety only increases tenfold at that. _But_ , he desperately reminds himself, this place is _not_ the same. Even though it’s powerful, it’s just a cheap card trick in comparison to the real deal. Tony’s idea makes sense- this has Mason written all over it and their confrontation with Toomes only backs that up. But, this is not an Infinity Stone.

“There's... there's _no_ way this is the real Soul Stone,” Peter says, trying not to sound defensive. He holds out his hand and thinks he might like an energy drink and a second later, one appears in it. “It feels similar, but it’s not exactly concerned with being realistic.” 

And Peter can’t help but feel grateful for that small mercy; there’s no way he’d be able to face Tony if Tony found out just how much he’s been hiding from him. Like how he spent years mooning over him, a few months openly flirting, and then a while more openly dating and, you know, being extremely intimate with one another. Yeah. That’s a conversation he wants to have _never_.

His gut twists nervously at the thought but, luckily, they are both too busy trying to figure out how to get out of where ever the hell they are to dwell on ~~his imaginary boyfriend~~ the Soul World at this moment, so it wouldn’t come off as deflecting if he were to maintain his focus on getting home. But then Tony cuts him off mid-sentence and says, “I need to tell you something.”

Peter stops thinking out loud and frowns, wondering why Tony sounds so pained all of a sudden. “What’s up?” he asks.

“…I know what happened in the Soul World," Tony says quickly and quietly, as if he hadn’t really wanted to say it at all. Peter just looks at him, certain he’s misheard. Because there’s no way. There’s- There’s no fucking way.

When Tony doesn’t say anything else, Peter tries to think of something to respond with but all he can do is stare. He feels distant, as if he’s floating away from his body and this isn’t really happening to him. He’s just watching a movie and he can turn this off and walk away at any moment if he wants to.

Peter tries to move but he can’t; he looks down and sees that Tony is holding his wrist.

Oh.

He moves to stand again, or at least his body does, but Tony grabs him by the shoulders. “Peter, please,” Tony says, and Peter tries to focus on his words but it’s difficult. “I wasn’t trying to pry, I- I couldn’t…” Tony’s voice trails off and Peter chances a glance at him; Tony’s eyes are wet with unshed tears and for a moment he can almost take a deep breath.

“What… What?” he hears himself ask stupidly.

Tony closes his eyes and tugs Peter into his chest. “ _Fuck_ , kid, I had no idea,” he says, voice shaking. “I’m so sorry.” A kiss at his temple. “I’m so sorry I let that happen to you. You should have told me,” he whispers. “No wonder you were- _Fuck_. That night you saw- _God_ , I’m a tool. How do you not _hate_ me?”

The reality of the situation is starting to catch up to Peter and humiliation is quickly over taking his initial shock as he thinks of all of the things that Tony might somehow now know. He pushes away from Tony’s chest and engages his mask, refusing to look the other man in the eye.

“I- I don’t know what y-you’re talking about,” Peter says stiffly, not quite registering everything Tony has just said. He turns to look out at the empty, motionless forest, trying to distance himself again. “We should- we should fo-focus on getting ba-”

“Stephen and Thor will handle it. Loki knows what he did and if he doesn’t _un_ -do it Point Break has the enormous green rage monster on speed dial.” A pause. “Not literally, obviously. I gave Thor a Starkphone and he broke it before I could-” Tony clears his throat and swallows, not even bothering to finish his thought.

“Look, it was a huge invasion of privacy and I know you wanted to tell me when you were ready, but I- I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. Hell, I didn’t even really know what was happening until I saw us together at the Tower and I know you’re really pissed at me right now, but I swear to you, kid-”

“I’m not mad at you!” Peter turns around to face him and shouts, glad that he can still alter his voice to hide how much it’s shaking even though he can’t communicate with Karen. “I’m not mad at you at _all_!”

“Are you sure?” Tony asks. “Because usually the yelling happens when you’re mad. And you’re yelling right now.”

Peter can tell Tony’s joking to lighten the mood, and he supposes he should take that as a good sign, but he’s too embarrassed to think straight right now. How did Tony find out? What exactly does Tony know? And how _long_ has he known?

“If… If it makes any difference,” Tony says softly, “I didn’t see everything. Just… a few memories. A few thoughts. I think it happened while I was knocked out. The stone- or whatever this is- It must be connected to us somehow.” He shudders and curls his lip, glancing around like something might jump out at them. “I fucking hate magic.” A pause. “I know Thor is your bestie and all, but I’m kicking him out of the group if Loki so much as _sneezes_ in my direction after all this shit.”

Peter can’t help but stare. Tony saw… Tony just saw what happened and he’s not… He’s not even a little bit weirded out? Because Peter is no expert on what’s normal and what’s not, but he’s _pretty_ sure having an imaginary relationship with someone’s imaginary double for years is really weird and would freak out most people. ~~One day he’ll be able to make that joke without a horrible, hollow pang in his chest. Today is not that day.~~

“Come on, Pete. Say something,” Tony says, trying to sound light-hearted but there’s an edge, a tightness in his voice. “Are we… Are we okay?” He sounds… uncertain. Insecure?

“I thought you would hate me,” Peter finally finds the courage to speak; he can’t stand to see that look on Tony’s face. He disengages his mask once more and tries to look Tony in the eye. “I thought y-you would- I-I don’t know-”

Tony grabs his face and kisses him and Peter’s one thousand percent certain his mind is going to short-circuit again from one single kiss and he pulls back, surprised.

“What? Y-you’re really n-” Tony kisses him once more, this time gently teasing his way inside Peter’s mouth. “You talk too much, kid,” he whispers when they pull apart moments later. For a moment all Peter can do is stare at him, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded with desire. “Sorry,” Peter replies with a murmur as he wraps his arms around Tony’s shoulders to pull him in for another kiss.

“I told you they were fine,” Peter suddenly hears a haughty, smooth voice from behind him.

He squeaks and jumps away, turning around to see Loki, Thor, and Stephen standing behind him. They’re back on the roof top in Midtown Manhattan again. Loki has a smirk on his face, Thor is frowning slightly, and Stephen looks Very Done with Everything. Behind them, Toomes is being taken into custody.

They’re…back?

But before that thought can really set in though, Peter suddenly realizes that about a dozen Manhattan officers have just seen him- unmasked- making out with Tony Stark. His blood instantly runs cold and he feels sick. The _one_ thing he needed to do to protect May and his relationship with Tony and he’s fucked up. Royally.   

“Worst. Timing. _Ever_ ,” Tony hisses angrily at the others, trying to pull Peter back to him. But he’s not fast enough and Peter already has his mask engaged by the time he’s swinging off the roof to get as far away from everyone as possible.

“Karen?” he asks.

“ _Yes, Peter_ ,” she replies, and Peter can’t help but feel a little relieved to hear her steady, kind voice once more.

“Call May, please.”

“ _Of course, Peter. Is everything alright_?”

“No,” he whispers. “No, it’s not.”   

“Hey, so, I love a good chase as much as the next guy but I’ve gotta be honest, kid, I’ve had it up to hear today with traveling,” Tony says over the comm. Peter ignores him and waits for May to pick up, but the call suddenly ends, and Peter knows it’s somehow Tony’s doing.

“She won’t find out, kid,” Tony says. “You don’t have to worry. She’s safe. Stephen took care of it. No one saw you.” A pause and a sigh. “Look, I’m… I’m shit at this sort of thing, but we need to talk. Apparently, that’s the healthy way to deal with shit. According to my therapist, anyway. Did I tell you I’m seeing a therapist?” Another pause. “Look- if… if you need space… I get it.” Tony sounds exhausted. “Just, uh… You know where to find me when you’re ready to talk, Pete.”

Mid-swing, Peter chances a glance over his shoulder. He sees Iron Man hovering behind him for a moment before flying off in the opposite direction.

-

He sits on the roof of a high-rise trying to clear his mind, but it doesn’t quite feel right, so he ends up taking the bus back upstate and then walking the rest of the way. By the time he makes his way to the compound it’s well passed two in the morning. He sits in his window, legs hanging outside, looking up at the night sky. Tomorrow will be the new moon, but the stars are vibrant to the naked eye already.

On nights like this, when the Milky Way is so visible, he always seems to think about the day he followed Tony Stark into space. And he can’t help but to laugh at himself, because he knows he’d do it all over again in an instant if he had to. All of it. And doesn’t that make him just a little bit crazy?

Probably. But Peter doesn’t care. So why has he wasted all this time making excuses about what he wants? With a deep exhale, he closes his eyes and smiles.

“FRIDAY… where’s Tony?”

_“Mr. Stark is in his workshop, sir.”_

So, Peter makes his way down and knocks on the door. After a moment, Tony answers. Metallica blares in the background and there’s a drafting pencil tucked behind his ear. He’s wearing jeans and an old MIT t-shirt and that same hopeful look in his eyes.

“Ready to talk?” Tony asks softly.

“Later,” Peter whispers and pushes his way into the workshop, wrapping his arms around Tony who grins and pulls him closer.

“Later sounds good,” Tony says, kissing him. “Later sounds _perfect_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to clog this up because I could go on for hours here. But, please don't kill me for ending it this way! It just felt like a good way to end it, with positivity and possibility. :) Also, I have one final part in the works that will address some questions that weren't answered, but mostly it will just be a light-hearted PWP because I love these boys. Thank y'all so much for reading!! xoxo


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